To be absolutely FUCKING FURIOUS that my period has started

[MaryZeZJezuzIzntZombiedYet]

because I'm 50. And I've been having periods since I was 12. Every fucking 28 days like fucking clockwork (apart from the infertility drug years).

And then in November I missed one, and I thought "whoopee, that's it, all over, done with menopause here I come.

I was wrong. Christmas was like a scene from the Texas Chain Saw Massacre.

And then January nothing, nada, zilch (yippee).

And now, here we fucking go again.

Disclaimer: I will not be responsible for my actions if anyone is unwise enough to inform me AIBU.

So you had better all ignore this thread.

Try having PMT that sets off your fibro so you can't move for about a fucking week, only you have to, because you have a preschooler (what idiot decided a baby at 40 is a good idea? Oh yeah...(and I adore him)), and then the pain goes and the blood starts...

Should have an on/off switch. Turn it on a month or two before you want to conceive. Turn it off when you're done.

I forgot to buy bread and milk.

I don't care if the kids starve in the morning. It's all their fault.

I want chocolate!

I'm a bit hacked off with mine as for the 4th or 5th month it's decided to be 4 days early. I used to have a lovely 35 day cycle pre-DC, I don't want a 24 day one - it's all too quick (only 3 or 4 days on though so I can't complain too much)

Yes, why can't we just press a button if we want to ovulate, and have "womb preparation on demand"

Why is no-one doing research into this?

COULD IT BE BECAUSE ALL THE SCIENTISTS ARE MEN?

dh is hiding from me atm.

YADNBU!

I am joining you in your fury.

First period for two years (pregnancy and post natal) and it bloody arrives when I have got flu and already feel like utter shite.

BASTARD

One word

Hysterectomy

8 weeks off work and no more haemorrhaging to the point that it drips out the leg of my trousers.

HippiTEE, I'm due at the start of November (hopefully!). Long time to go yet

I'd love one littlewhite.

Apparently they don't dish them out here unless it's a medical emergency.

Get to your GP and have an Implanon fitted. Hey presto, no more periods. Lovely.

See, it's a bit late for that hope. I should have done that ten years ago. I just think that at 50 (and with insides that never worked properly anyway), it isn't unrealistic to hope that my periods would just stop.

After all, how many eggs can one person produce? 38 years I've been at this. I was never on the pill, I wasted about 40 eggs through my ivf cycles, I was pregnant once, but my periods came back when ds was two months old [bitter].

So surely I should have run out by now?

It's fucking stupid.

Hopefully if youve akways been like clockwork but you're now starting to miss the odd one here and there then you could be close to them stopping for good?

Moonbucket

Maryz I'm sorry to tell you but mine took a good 18 mos - 2 years to disappear completely... The hot flushes didn't last that long though.

That's fantastic Fakebook! May it be completely uneventful!

I haven't had a proper period since July 2011. Have either been pregnant or bfing. This August I will be the same age my mum was when her menopause began.

I'm thinking if I can just stick with the bfing a bit longer, I might be done with the fuckers. They have been horrendous since having my first dc. I'm a bit scared of what they might be like if they come back now... Like a raspberry coulis tsunami I'm thinking

If they are gone for good I can spend the money I save on Tampax getting my tits revamped :o

I remember my dd getting her first period,aged 12.Over a cosy chat,with chocolate and tea,she whispered 'how long does this last?'.I replied 'until you're about 50'.The look of absolute horror on her face....she was refering to that particular period,I think I frightened the life out of her.

I really hope they stop soon.

Hunter, you are lucky. ds2 was exclusively b/f and my periods came back (with a bang) when he was 8 weeks old, and were back like clockwork straight away.

Hilda, I feel for dd as well. She gets heavy painful periods lasting over a week, like I did. She is 16 now, and I've suggested she go on the pill.

Im going to really upset you - and I know what I have in store - my mother started the change a t 46 - and she was still changing when she died at 62 - no HRT ....

Someone somewhere tells women a big fat lie. This "periods get lighter and fade away as you approach the menopause" is bollix.

I might be lucky MaryZ. Although I did wonder in the days that followed the birth of ds2 if my actual womb had fallen out. Honestly, it was shocking.

Maybe it did

My friend reckons you should get sanitary wear FOC - imagine how much money you spend in a lifetime and how much those Always and Tampax people make!

I never knew, until I was 35, that my (what I now know to be) heavy periods that lasted 8/9 days wasn't normal. Seriously. My mother never talked about it, then I was married and having kids and stuff and just never thought to discuss it with my female friends.

id be pissed off too Yanbu >>>backs away from the scary lady

can you imagine NHS sanitary towels though we would all be walking about like john wayne cant imagine they would be slimline with wings