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AIBU?

To contemplate revenge - Have you ever?

108 replies

appletarts · 05/02/2013 19:37

I posted previously about difficulties with sister, ho she has bullied and tried to control me and that she completely ignored me on my wedding day. Her daughters wedding is coming up and I have been fantasising about ruining it for her in some way, not ruining it for her daughter but for her. I imagine ignoring her like she did me or more dramatic revenges which I am too ashamed to detail. I will almost certainly not take revenge believing it's not good for the soul, but I bet it would feel bloody great and I am tempted! Anyone ever taken revenge and did it feel good or bad?

OP posts:

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DizzyZebra · 06/02/2013 01:07

I would just ignore her. I don't think theres anything wrong with that.

Juanca · 06/02/2013 01:25

I heard a great one but I've never had the balls to try it.

Using your enemy's address, order pizzas for, say, midday. Also order as many taxis as you can for midday. Make appointments for double glazing salesmen and Jehovah's witnesses to turn up at the same time. Call the fire brigade and say there's a cat up the tree at the address. You get the picture. Then call the local paper and say you've been tipped off that something will happen at number 5 Smith Street at midday ...

Juanca · 06/02/2013 01:36

Some of these are amazing. Remind me never to fuck with any of you.

monsterchild · 06/02/2013 01:46

Bogey the next time say its syphilis, the test for man is quite, erm, intrusive!

MrsPoglesWood · 06/02/2013 01:46

Are you serious Juanca? Local pizza shops and taxi firms should stand the cost of someone extracting revenge on an ex? And the fire service? Like they haven't got anything better to do?

I really hope you're being ironic in some shite sort of way!

Nibledbyducks · 06/02/2013 01:46

My ExH left me for the woman up the road, she cheated on him, he committed suicide, that I don't blame on her. She was also really very nasty to DS1, I of course never encouraged him to spend the year before last throwing slugs over the fence at her lovely vegetable patch after dark

Bogeyface · 06/02/2013 01:54

monster it might have been that, which is the one that involves a nasty implement down the penis? Thats the one she said she had!

Juanca · 06/02/2013 01:57

Yes I'm being totally serious MrsPoglesWood, I'm aiming to bankrupt every small business for miles around with my imaginary scenario!

MrsPoglesWood · 06/02/2013 02:02

Ahh imaginary is good! I have those thoughts too.....

Juanca · 06/02/2013 02:06

We all have evil thoughts (mostly when I was younger - I must've mellowed) but as someone upthread said the best revenge is living well.

However, I do confess that when an ex cheated on me and then dumped me (but not before giving me an STI) I couldn't resist posting a few ads with his number advertising cars at rock bottom prices and a lovely room with a Jacuzzi overlooking Clapham Common for £50/week. He was forced to change his number, poor lamb.

MrsPoglesWood · 06/02/2013 02:15

I once dobbed in an ex to the CSA. He fathered a child after we split and gloated that she wouldn't name him cos he wasn't in a position to marry her until his career was established and they needed her lone parent benefits to support him. Funnily enough they got married less than 3 months later....

StuntGirl · 06/02/2013 02:22

Another one wanting to know what you did merlot!

I used to have awful revenge fantasies about a boss who bullied me to the point of quitting. I have never hated anyone more than that man, I really wish I could have done something to him!

Dryjuice25 · 06/02/2013 03:02

never revenge

ChampyandtheWonderHorse · 06/02/2013 06:24

no, OP - don't, it will not feel great, it'll feel rubbish. Just sort out the problem irl, and you won't need these fantasies. I saw your thread about your sister and felt very sympathetic - but reading this I've already lost some sympathy.
(sorry)

appletarts · 06/02/2013 06:33

Champy I won't do anything but I do feel tempted sometimes. In an ideal world I would like to talk to her before the wedding and explain how hurt I was and try to get some acknowledgement/resolution. But she would just see this as weakness and I would never get an adult response or any compassion. I think that's why I've been dreaming of revenge because there's no other way to get my point out there. In reality I will do something much more mature and probably decline getting overly involved in arrangements and just turn up on the day looking fantastic and be charming to everyone, except perhaps her because I think inside I will feel massively triggered. I've never taken revenge on anyone because I've always been able to talk things through with generally reasonable people. Some of these stories are brilliant/scary.

OP posts:

ChampyandtheWonderHorse · 06/02/2013 06:45

No I do understand. I had fantasies about doing something when an ex left me, once - again because reasonable communication was off the cards.

I felt like I needed an outlet for my hurt and anger. But after a few months I was SO glad I hadn't done anything to him. Really relieved. I think it would have been awful, especially if he had known it was me.

The thing is things get out of proportion in communication breakdowns. You start blaming the other person and demonise them a bit, you lose sight of any possible good in the relationship.

Later, years later we actually met up again and forged what is now a close friendship. If I'd avenged what happened before that would have been out of the question. It was hard but I had to deal with my anger in my own way and I didn't have a clue how, still don't know how I got over it.

But I'm so glad now. I wish you all the best, it's a horrid situation...maybe you would be happier with her out of your life.

ChampyandtheWonderHorse · 06/02/2013 06:47

What I mean is, it would have destroyed any remnants of the wonderful connection we had had - it would have confirmed to him that he had done the right thing iyswim?

and as it is, we've picked up the good bits and moved forward. Took a long time though.

appletarts · 06/02/2013 06:55

Champy those are all the reasons why I won't, good on you for transforming things in that relationship, it takes hard work. It just took me so long to meet my mr right and get married that I still can't believe she tried to ruin it for me. I have been reflecting about how powerless I feel in this that I am dreaming of revenge and think it's time I took back my power (without sounding like Paddy off take me out). I've got to work out how I do that when it can't be within the relationship as she's so into games. Thanks for your reply!

OP posts:

CheerfulYank · 06/02/2013 07:01

I had an awful bullying bitch of a boss when I worked at a nursery. She had two families who were her special pets as they were very rich and well-connected.

A good friend of mine (who also worked there) and I both quit and convinced her favorites to quit and hire us as nannies. :)

Not a huge act of revenge, but she was spitting mad when she found out...

ChampyandtheWonderHorse · 06/02/2013 07:03

That makes a lot of sense, it's about taking back your power - wish I could tell you how! Good luck x

fuzzypicklehead · 06/02/2013 07:51

I once helped a friend hire a private investigator to follow her OH who she suspected of cheating (despite massive denials on his part).

He was cheating. Rather than instigate a big confrontation and listen to more denials... She played it cool and just forwarded all his post to OW's address.

It did make me laugh, picturing him trying to work out what had happened and create some way to weasel out of the situation...

mademred · 06/02/2013 09:00

When my ex left me for a friend, she was the ultimate bitch to my kids and tried to stop my ex having contact with them.even barred my number from his phone so when one of the dcs were in hospital ill I couldn't get hold of him.she had told me once that her eldest dc didn't belong to her dh, but the kids didn't know.well after her being such a bitch to my dc, I messaged her 16yr old dd and told her to go ask her mum for her birth certificate.she called me a liar etc but four years on I hear she has found her real dad and extended family and is happy.as for the ex he doesn't have any contact with my kids atall as other things emerged about him , so the best revenge is that she's stuck with him.

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ChampyandtheWonderHorse · 06/02/2013 09:58

Mademred are you actually proud that you used a child to get revenge on someone?

I just can't understand the mentality that says that's Ok

Didn't you think how the 16yo might feel?

Darkesteyes · 06/02/2013 17:29

I read an article about revenge recently. It had this saying in it....
If you are going to take revenge you had better dig two graves.

ClippedPhoenix · 06/02/2013 17:32

Blimey what a saintly lot most of you are.

I have certainly taken revenge on ocassion and enjoyed every second of it

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