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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To contemplate revenge - Have you ever?

108 replies

appletarts · 05/02/2013 19:37

I posted previously about difficulties with sister, ho she has bullied and tried to control me and that she completely ignored me on my wedding day. Her daughters wedding is coming up and I have been fantasising about ruining it for her in some way, not ruining it for her daughter but for her. I imagine ignoring her like she did me or more dramatic revenges which I am too ashamed to detail. I will almost certainly not take revenge believing it's not good for the soul, but I bet it would feel bloody great and I am tempted! Anyone ever taken revenge and did it feel good or bad?

OP posts:
Uppermid · 06/02/2013 18:57

Mademred that's dreadful, and you're proud of it. You're lucky it turned out ok for her but that's just hideous and nasty

thegreylady · 06/02/2013 22:08

I! did it was in. 1967. I discovered my dh was having an affair with my bf-the one I had been confiding in about how distant he was. I am on tablet now so too long to type out whole story but I will tell you about the boyfriend of hers who rang dh and threatened him ( was my friends dh) and the cheap perfume I soaked her letters in before replacing them in his inside pocket-he was a secondary school teacher. I put sugar in his petrol tank,holes in his condoms and super glue in his 'toothpaste. Yes I did revenge. I was only 23 and have never regretted any of it. Oddly we became good friends before he died and I had a day out with his widow recently ( noexbf).!

picard476 · 06/02/2013 22:14

some of these are borderline insane imo.

MerlotAndMe · 06/02/2013 23:20

thegreylady, i think if they are the type of man to acknowledge that they did wrong, they can on one level respect you for not just weeping quietly in the corner. the other type of man who never acknowledges he did anything wrong will write you off as a psycho.

I felt good knowing i'd ruined my x's chances at that job. he didn't knwo why he didn't get it , or that i was trying to sabotage him, but it still felt GOOOOOOD.

i'm loving this thread!

Porkster · 06/02/2013 23:26

I agree that living well is the best revenge.

It's all a bit undignified otherwise.

Writehand · 06/02/2013 23:55

I was v young. 5 of us shared a student house, 2 supposedly committed couples & a single bloke. I'd just got engaged to my DP. Out of the blue my DP and the OW went off together, leaving the 3 of us utterly devastated. The single bloke was timid and idolised my charismatic, hugely entitled DP. He was almost as broken up as we abandoned lovers were.

Massive heartbreak for me and the OM, and a total shock. The first time I saw them together at the library I fainted down the steps like a Victorian miss. It was a huge deal for me.

My bastard DP left all his stuff behind, asking me to pack it up and send to their new flat just a few streets away.

So: I ripped a handful of pages out of the back of all his books, poured bleach on his dark clothes, black dye on his light ones and wrote "Fuck off" on all his vinyl albums with a pair of scissors (God he loved those albums!). Then I put the albums back in their sleeves, dried the clothes, packed it all up neatly and got the whole lot delivered. Slow release revenge.

During the rest of the year I had lots of comforting sex with the 2 remaining blokes (2 nights a week each kinda thing). It was lovely, and healing for all of us.

And when I discovered that my hair-trigger ex had run off with a woman who required a solid hour of oral sex before she'd permit penetration... Well, it makes me smile even now... She eventually joined a lesbian commune.

But, OP, I can't see any way you can ruin this wedding for your sister without being almost certain to hurt non-combatants, especially her poor innocent daughter. I'd leave it. Be the big, kind, grown up one. And fantasise. Smile

kiwimumof2boys · 07/02/2013 01:14

Haha.
I have never ever written my former boss (who bullied me so much i had to quit my job) first name and number on every bit of paper money I came across for about a year later (his number is no longer listed in white pages !)

and I have never, ever switched the batteries around (so + was on - side) on all the tv, dvd, video etc remotes to piss off an annoying flatmate (removing them would have been too obvious) he went spare !!
never ever Wink

Pigsmummy · 07/02/2013 17:32

Whatever you do it will impinge on the bride so don't. Your sister will go running to her daughter etc

appletarts · 07/02/2013 21:50

Wow Writehand I think I have lived a very sheltered existence, 2 nights each a week! Shock

OP posts:
armani · 07/02/2013 22:26

I once found out a new guy I was seeing was actually married. I took great pleasure in wrecking his brand new car, that he was paying for on finance! I paint stripped the car, painted the windscreen with black gloss and sprayed the words 'peadophile' onto the doors. He lived in a very nice area and moved not long after!

Still makes me chuckle now!

MerlotAndMe · 07/02/2013 22:41

Wow. at the paedophile bit.

WandaDoff · 07/02/2013 22:42

I was just thinking that Merlot

BumBiscuits · 07/02/2013 22:59

Armani, fuck's sake I hope no one knew it was you. You spelt paedophile incorrectly, what an embarrassment. Shock

armani · 07/02/2013 23:04

Hehe I'm on my phone atm, so apologise for the spelling mistake!
It might have been harsh, but this was a man who had wrecked my life - I had to leave my job after his wife phoned my boss and told everyone I'd stolen her husband. I had no idea he was married!

BumBiscuits · 07/02/2013 23:11

Oh, well, that's okay then fuck's sake

BalloonTwister · 08/02/2013 00:27

I doused my ex's mattress with a good covering of powdered milk before I moved out and he moved the OW in. It gets absorbed into your pores as you sleep so you smell like sour milk the nect day. It probably helped that I left in July.

I have never regretted it,and still smile at the memory of a mutual friend confiding that ex's personal hygeine had become a talking point in the office the week after I moved out.:)

Bogeyface · 08/02/2013 00:57

The car one just reminded me of what my sisters friend did, she got her brother to ring the police to report "his" car as stolen.

Her ex got pulled for days afterwards, and then got pulled for "spot checks" for months and months :o

jidelgin · 08/02/2013 04:11

Rachel broke my heart and left me sad so when the doe eyed first year who had been hovering around us for weeks (she'd obviously seen the vultures circling and knew the end was nigh) asked me why we had broken up I told her "Rachel talked like a rapper when we were having sex. It was really off putting".

I demonstrated my point most helpfully with aggressive pointing, a few hyper-masculine gestures and the Salt n Pepa quote "Get up on this..."

It still makes me laugh! Nothing could have been further from the truth - Rachel was a card carrying dyed in the wool fully paid up vegan tree hugging whale saving feminist dyke!

raisah · 08/02/2013 04:23

Be very nice and have a conversation with her in full view of all the wedding guests. She has two choices: to be pleasant in return or to be her normal self and cause a scene at her own daughters' wedding. She will be miserable all day trying to be nice as its too much effort.....

HeavenlyWineandRoses · 08/02/2013 05:10

Four years after finding out my DH had a year-long affair, I still fantasise regularly about extracting revenge on the OW whose husband never knew about the affair. My fantasies usually involve the husband and letting him know his wife is not all she seems (they are one of these annoying couples whose Facebook photos and status reports suggest they are head over heels and the happiest, most united couple in the world). It's very hard knowing she has not suffered and that my life was turned upside down and that I continue to feel intense pain and sorrow about the whole episode.

I have always resisted playing out these fantasies on principle. Revenge is not healthy or healing even if it would briefly make me very happy. So, like me, enjoy fantasising but it's probably best for you if leave it at that.

MadameCastafiore · 08/02/2013 05:20

What about wearing the same outfit? Or have your hair dyed a really whacky colour. Or as my cousin had to put up with, a crazy aunt wire her wedding dress to his wedding!

Chubfuddler · 08/02/2013 05:33

Some of you sound utterly unhinged. Fortunately a good 50% of these anecdotes are probably completely invented.

GetOrf · 08/02/2013 08:02

Fair enough that this is a jokey thread, but to send that text to a 16 year old kid effectively telling her her father is not who she thought it was is absolutely disgraceful and unforgivable. Did you not think of that poor 16 year old having to read that text and how she must have felt? You should be heartily ashamed of yourself, not bloody well proud and telling people as if it was a wonderful act of vengeance. Seriously, shame on you.

BattlingFanjos · 08/02/2013 08:18

As someone who was maliciously reported to ss for sexual abuse on my son, yeah writing Paedophile on someone's door is great! Pretending they abuse children in the worst way imaginable and having people question you when it's all bollocks is HYSTERICAL!!!!

The lengths people will go to to make themselves feel better is sick. Angry

Bogeyface · 08/02/2013 11:02

Well mine aren't made up, and I stand by the one I did :)

Dignity was not an issue for the OW in my case, she wouldnt know dignity if it hit her in the tits, trust me on this, I have seen the photos.