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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To contemplate revenge - Have you ever?

108 replies

appletarts · 05/02/2013 19:37

I posted previously about difficulties with sister, ho she has bullied and tried to control me and that she completely ignored me on my wedding day. Her daughters wedding is coming up and I have been fantasising about ruining it for her in some way, not ruining it for her daughter but for her. I imagine ignoring her like she did me or more dramatic revenges which I am too ashamed to detail. I will almost certainly not take revenge believing it's not good for the soul, but I bet it would feel bloody great and I am tempted! Anyone ever taken revenge and did it feel good or bad?

OP posts:

sillymillyb · 05/02/2013 21:23

Bogey that made me giggle.... I got a warning from the police when I posted my ex's prostitute booking forms on to his facebook profile. My ex was a copper though, so not sure sending his mates round works the same way really especially when he ended up being investigated and disciplined for it

Seriously though, I wish I had risen above it and had the higher moral ground. Nothing says you care more than giving a reaction - try and believe she is so meaningless to you, and what she does is of so little consequence that you barely register what has happened in the past.... and drink lots of lots of gin

VikingLady · 05/02/2013 21:37

How would you grind up toenail clippings? I wouldn't have thought they were dry/brittle enough. You live and learn!

I like subtle revenges. Like the twat man in the student bar who told me I was not attractive enough to date but he would be happy to screw me if I wanted (I didn't - he approached me!). He found it quite hard to get a date later that year..... Apparently a rumour had spread that he suffered really badly with premature ejaculation....

Shame.

Beaverfeaver · 05/02/2013 21:40

My revenge is always a sickly sweet smile to the person in question.

MechanicalTheatre · 05/02/2013 21:41

Yes, Viking, that is a classy sort of revenge, I'd say.

sillymillyb, that takes some gall!

CatDilemma · 05/02/2013 21:42

They'd been there a while Viking. I'd refused to clean them up.

Original poster

appletarts · 05/02/2013 21:42

Oooh BumBiscuits I love that! I'll just wear the same on the wedding day, I can't bring myself to actually do anything though. These replies are hilarious!

OP posts:

carabos · 05/02/2013 22:01

When XP went off abroad to allegedly visit his kids but in reality to sleep with his XW's sister, I drove him to the airport then went home, packed up all his belongings, took them to the Sally Army and moved without leaving a forwarding address. I had given notice to the LL so when XP arrived back he was homeless and had nothing but the clothes he stood up in.

I have never regretted it. He was a cocklodging, drug abusing, lying, thieving bastard and he deserved it .

BumBiscuits · 05/02/2013 22:05

I'll completely deny cleaning ex's skidmarks off the loo with ex's toothbrush if anyone asks

BumBiscuits · 05/02/2013 22:06

after we'd finished due to his cheating

FunnysInLaJardin · 05/02/2013 22:10

I was made redundant a few years back. They brought in a shiny new lawyer to replace me who was no doubt half my price. They then ran a piece in the local paper saying how wonderful she was and how it was great to have a new broom etc.

I took the clipping and set fire to it in a bucket in the garden. It made me feel great seeing her burn away like that

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 05/02/2013 22:20

I have done some awful, awful things in my youth.

From childish (I was a teenager) - asking the girl who snogged my boyfriend and thought I didn't know about it to pass on a letter to the 'popular' guy in our year at school, unknown to her I had actually written it from her and declared her undying love to him, in rhyme.

To funny - a guy my friends and I used to go out clubbing with always used to be an arse after a few drinks, we all used to go back to his house after the club and he always ended up falling asleep, he was very, very house proud and made us take our shoes off etc (all perfectly reasonable with the benefit of hindsight) and we found it quite annoying.

One of the nights we were there after he fell asleep we went to the 24 hour garage and bought all the tin foil they had (6 drunk people going in and buying about 30 rolls of tinfoil raised some eyebrows) we then went back to my friends house and covered everything in tinfoil, everything from the fruitbowl and individual bits of fruit to the couch and rug and pictures on the wall, it took us about 2 hours.

It was hilarious (and we were forgiven after a few weeks).

To downright horrible - A particular ex of mine (he was really nasty when we were together) used to come into the nightclub I worked in (the only nightclub for miles around) although he never did anything when I was at work the sight of his face pissed me off so much that I lied to the security staff and he got banned, and because of the 'pubwatch' scheme he was banned from all the other pubs too. I killed his social life in one swoop.

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 05/02/2013 22:30

I once and I cannot believe I am about to admit this.... shagged the husband (well live in DP) of the girl who made my life a misery at school by bullying me.
I met him in a nightclub and he invited me back to his to shag and when we got there, there was a photo of her on the mantelpiece. When I asked he said they'd had a massive fight three days earlier and she'd stormed off to her mother's and "left him" and called her all the names under the sun, and I just thought "right you bitch, this is where I get mine after all these years" and shagged him senseless not in her bed though, ewwwww on the couch and the table, and the floor and the stairs
I never told anyone, and as far as I know neither did he - they got back together briefly later on, then split for good after that. I didn't need to crow or tell anyone, just knowing that after all the times she'd called me fat and ugly and scabby and everything else (and I remembered every.single.hurtful.word) he had picked me up, come on to me, told me I was gorgeous, admired my clothes, my hair (and even if it was just flattery to get into my knickers,) had made an effort with me, was enough
I laid a few ghosts to rest that night I can tell you.

EarlyMorningBaconDemon · 05/02/2013 22:30

Nair in the shampoo is an oldie but a goodie. Especially if you put it in your dickwanking, cocklodging, abusive, vain, histrionic, dramaqueen cuntface of an ex-boyfriend's leave-in conditioner.

He was so fucking obsessed with his hair and his beauty, and he made me feel about three inches tall because, whilst I'll make the effort if I'm going out, when I'm in the house I won't exactly wear a fucking ballgown. So yeah, he was meticulous. And a wankstain. And would frequently waste my water when I was on a low income. And was fucking my friend.

Funnily enough, after half his hair dizzolved, she didn't want to know him. Hmm, how odd.

Willdoitinaminute · 05/02/2013 22:43

My Dsis told everyone not to wear pastels for her wedding and she told my other sis not to put her 2 DD into ponchos (fashionable for tots a few years back) Guess what? Other sis found some brilliant crochet ponchos for the wedding but drew the line at pastel for herself. Me just turning up with my newborn DS was enough. She had planned the wedding to coincide with my due date. DS was a month early! Other sis and I have a pact to piss her off at any opportunity. No real fall out but she is just so bossy.

MechanicalTheatre · 05/02/2013 22:46

Yikes, Pom you've just reminded me!

I had a frenemy (down wit kidz, yeah?) who was always making PA comments to me and my other friend about how slaggy we were (yeah and what?). She did a number of really shitty things to me and I just lost it one night.

She really fancied this guy. He turned up one night, we all went out and then I shagged him, loudly, on her bedroom floor.

With her in the bed.

Not mature, but it really perked me up.

meddie · 05/02/2013 23:07

I will deny to my last breath regularly cleaning the toilet with my exH toothbrush or putting breastmilk in his cup of tea as he was so squeamish about it.
I absolutely refute painting a large H inside a circle with white emulsion paint on his lawn and planting 4 lights at each corner and turning into a helicopter landing pad.
I do not have the artistic ability to paint red wiggly lines down the side of his car and flames over the wheel arches with red oxide primer and then writing 'go faster stripes' down the side.

Dothraki · 05/02/2013 23:18

Contemplate - oh yes, but unlike V Price I have no wish to end up in jail. So I'd like to see some very clever, subtle ideas that I can use to make me laugh

meddie · 05/02/2013 23:23

prawns sewn into the hem of curtains or inside curtain rods is an oldie and a goodie.

Clytaemnestra · 05/02/2013 23:31

My best friend was cheated on by her boyfriend. This was the deep dark past when I was 18 and just at uni. So a group of us got very drunk, and, since we were going past his house own our way to another club, we took a stop off and took it in turns to wee on his doorstep.

I wouldn't do it now, but it still makes me smirk. He was very very cross about it.

MrsTerryPratchett · 06/02/2013 00:14

You could cress her carpet. Or, one particularly inventive friend suggested this one: when my (then current, now ex) P was being chased by a 'friend' my other friend suggested signing her up for every mailing list of every plastic surgeon and beautician in the area because she was very paranoid about her skin. I didn't, but I got a warm glow when I thought about it.

deleted203 · 06/02/2013 00:27

I have never taken revenge, but my friend did on her cheating ex. Whilst he and OW were on holiday she let herself back into his house (still had key) and replaced fuse in the freezer plug with a blown one.

She said this was because if she'd:-

a) switched the plug off
b) removed the fuse
c) unplugged it

he would have known it was her. As it was they came back to an entire chest freezer of manky stuff presumably and simply thought a fuse had blown. The satisfaction of her knowing she'd done it was enough for her. (And she'd looked in freezer, apparently and been impressed to note he had an entire salmon in there for one thing!)

I was slightly impressed at her cunning, I must admit.

Bogeyface · 06/02/2013 00:31

I wish I had risen above it and had the higher moral ground. Nothing says you care more than giving a reaction - try and believe she is so meaningless to you, and what she does is of so little consequence that you barely register what has happened in the past....

Nah, fuck that. Now everyone who saw her topless picture and her phone number know what a fucking slag she is, especially her OH!

My H on the other hand would have love to have just got away with what I did to her! Bollocks to dignity, revenge is sweet!

MerlotAndMe · 06/02/2013 00:37

I took revenge on an x in the 90s and I don't regret it, never did. He dumped me with such a character assasination and we had so many mutual friends. I was pushed out of the group. Suddenly I had no friends, or rather, I realised, I never had friends, only people who followed the brightest star or whatever...

So, I heard through mutual 'friends' that he was applying for a job with x y z charity, he really wanted the job. Then he got an interview, then he got a second interview, but he hadn't been offered the job. I rang the company knowing he hadn't started because he hadn't even been offered the job. I said 'is *dave green there?' eh no, sorry he doesn't work here. 'oh I think he does, he told me does. in the pencil sharpening department. can I leave a message with them? Please give it to him when he starts!??".

He didn't get job. But i don't know if i fucked that up for him or not. will never know for sure.

there was something else I did too but I couldn't say it on here. i've told people in real life though and they have whistled, impressed, shocked.... scared

Bogeyface · 06/02/2013 00:44

Merlot please tell, or pm me!!!

My sister did a stunner, which I have posted on MN before.

Short version is that her Army BF was cheating and then dumped her. She called him over and over and he ignored her and didnt call her back (as she expected) so she called his CO and told him that she had to get a message to him. She said that she had been tested positive for gonorrhea and as she had been a virgin (! okaaaay!) she must have got it from him.

Being confidential, it went round the camp in minutes and he was known as "Clap Craig" ever after! She didnt have it and had never been tested, but she only told him that after him and OW got tested :o

CreepyLittleBat · 06/02/2013 00:55

I have never, and would never suggest getting a load of salmon heads off your local fishmonger and lining them up in the dead of night on the doorstep of the bitchy director who scuppered your debut play. Nope.

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