to ttc if I think I will abort if the HG sets in again?

[ICBINEG]

So DH and I have conceived immediately on two occasions, one early miscarriage and one birth. I had hideous soul destroying sickness almost all of the way through pregnancy. We are beginning to start thinking about having another child, but I feel almost certain I couldn't go through another pregnancy like the last one. My understanding of HG is that it is unlikely to strike twice (although you are slightly more likely to get it if you had it before) and that each pregnancy may be fine or not.

So is it unreasonable to ttc if I think I might abort due to HG?

If we conceive and then I get horribly sick is it unreasonable to abort and try again?

Given we would only ever have one more child and seem to be able to conceive at will this might be more a case of choosing to bring to term the baby that doesn't make me horrendously sick for 9 months rather than wasting life etc.

I'm not sure I can really buy into that argument though....

(ps. if you are of the never abort under any circumstances camp then please don't bother posting...I know that opinion exists and am not in the slightest bit swayed by it. I am interested in hearing from other with grey zone opinions on abortion as to which side of their personal line this falls).

YABU I've had very severe HG 3 times, medication didn't help. But the way I see it, you either want another child or you don't. In my darkest moments I wondered if I could continue with the pregnancies, especially as it impacts on your family too, but it's a means to an end.

It is however, the hardest thing I've ever been through, but worth it in the end. I just took it one day at a time...

I'm guessing the OP could be rather upset given some of the very personal digs people have had at her.

I don't think for a single second it's a wind up, why would it be?

Op I am so very very sorry for your predicament.

As someone who never even felt sick let alone was sick in any of my pregnancies I cannot imagine how vile this condition must be.

I think the posters who havnt had HG or had an abortion should shut up.

Do what you think is right for you and your family op and I wish you all the best.

Given some of the personal attacks on here I hope to God she doesn't come back.

I had HG in my last pg, I have also had an abortion.

YABU, I actually find your attitude disgusting. Abortion is meant to be a safety net, not a choice of contraception when the going gets tough.

Last time I did feel like I would have welcomed whatever could come to me, felt like I could die at points. I still think YABU, I didn't know what I was getting into the last time but when it's your second pregnancy and planned then you have no excuse, you know the possibilities.

I had HG on my first and when we decided TTC again it was in the full knowledge that I could have it again. I did, it was worse the second time as I already had dd to look after and fund it harder to rest.

If you know you couldn't cope with HG again then please don't TTC.

Should add though that I have had no sickness in this pregnancy at all and I am 15+3.

'I think you are being naive to think that you can just keep re-concieving embryos until you get a pregnancy that doesn't come with any side effects.'

This. Either stick with the pregnancy or don't ttc. You can't just keep aborting. It's not a solution!

You're talking as if aborting is like throwing away a pair of shoes that dont fit. You have no idea how mentally it would affect you.

Worra because it is written so as to draw strong opinions. I also don't understand why someone would just post and run.

I had HG twice.. once for 40 weeks, in and out of hospital and once for 12 weeks.

I was going to abort that pregnancy for other reasons (she was conceived on the coil) and then when I got HG again I made an appointment. Fortunately the HG was short lasting and she is now 4 years old.

I think you are being unreasonable. Your body. Your choice and while I am very pro choice but I would never TTC knowing I might abort.

I am pro choice, abortion should be legal, safe and as rare as possible.

It's an entirely different proposition between finding oneself pregnant unintentionally and contemplate abortion as an option, compared to actively attempting to conceive and having achieved that to contemplate abortion as an option.

Imdon't think there have been many attacks.

I think most people can imagine how bad HG is.

I think most are pro choice

But most would not go ahead and ttc if they really felt this way.

^^ that was to FLobbadobbs

X post ENjoy responsibly

I agree

Before you can decide something like this you need to have had a decent consultation to find out everything that can be done to help you.and what support you have both emotionally and practicly if in patient treatment is needed.

What your personal limits are and at what stage you would make a choice and if that choice was late termination what support you would have to deal with that.

I personally wouldn't terminate for HG unless my consultant said to me "we are now at the stage where I'm concerned you are at risk of death" but that's just me. I know that my consultant was happy to keep me in hospital if needed(and I have support with other children if this is needed) and when things got so bad with two of my pregnancys that I never left hospital and it was utter hell I was induced quite early due to it. But I knew in advance this would happen if I was so ill it was dangerous.

I may not wish to do it myself given the great treatment i knew i could have but I would support and defend your right to.

Poor OP. There have been some reasoned posts here, and not just ones that I agree with.

But even on MN it's seemingly impossible to discuss termination without [sadface]s and talk of baybeez.

Some people need to grow up and think outside of their own experiences.

My first three I suffered with awful morning sickness for the first trimester but nothing like HG.. they were boys.

It was the two girls that I got HG with.

One of my family members almost died from complications of HG - I do wish that people would read up on the potential life threatening illness that HG can lead to before just declaring that it is 'bad morning sickness'
Even some of the medical professionals involved in her care were very 'laid back' about her declining health (until it was almost too late and she had received treatment for HG throughout the pregnancy)

HG can lead to multi organ failure, malnutrition, kidney failure resulting in transplant, thyroid storm - to name but a few very serious illness'.
The lack of nutrition and severe dehydration can lead to serious long term damage to the organs and the thyroid.

So I think YANBU to consider termination if HG were to occur again.

Thebody

I don't agree that anyone who presents their case in areasonable manner should shut up

I don't think anyone is doubting the severity of Hg. They are just saying, so don't get pregnant again if you can't face it again.

YABU and I find your post disgusting.

I don't think there have been many personal attacks on this thread? Maybe a handful but its not surprising given the subject matter, really.

I think you need to research reasons why you got sick and make life changes to prevent it's reoccurance.

I had it awfully and recon it was diet/nutrition related as my last pregnancy was a dream. I ate lots of veggies (salad a day with lots of seeds and nuts), water and fish (few times a week) for 6 months before getting pregnant. Also stayed away from sugars, fried foods, white refined foods like white bread and white pasta. I then took B6, B12 and Magnesium.

Also acupuncture was a life saver.

If its that bad u need to accept that you are a one child family sorry. Gambling with the need for an abortion is a disgusting thought.