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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not get by gay marriage is such a contentious issue

65 replies

Ponderingonaquandry · 03/02/2013 10:55

I don't get why it's anyone else's business what other couples get up to. People are people and all couples should be able to have the same access to ceremonies of union. Why is it such a big deal?

OP posts:
Sallyingforth · 03/02/2013 10:57

It's not about the gay couples' marriage.
It's about the perceived change to the state of marriage for those who are already married.

PrettyKitty1986 · 03/02/2013 10:58

That's your opinion, not 'fact'. Surely you can understand why people with different life experiences etc may be of a different opinion? Even if you don't agree with that opinion.

Original poster
Ponderingonaquandry · 03/02/2013 11:00

But how is it changing marriage? I get marriage is a construct designed to legitimise having children but how does that impact in gay relationships? Does this mean people opposed to gay marriage are opposed to gay couples being parents?

OP posts:
Squitten · 03/02/2013 11:00

It's mostly because many religious people do not accept that gay marriage and heterosexual marriage can be considered the same thing or should be afforded equal status. The Churches are also worried it's going to cause rifts because some clergy would be in favour of offering gay marriages.

FWIW, I agree with you.

NotDavidTennant · 03/02/2013 11:03

Bigotry, that's why.

CartedOff · 03/02/2013 11:06

I don't think it's a big deal and support gay marriage wholeheartedly, but I understand that there are people coming from different backgrounds and perspectives. I "get" that it's a big deal for them, I just disagree completely.

I think it would be great if everyone, gay or straight, had the right to choose between marriage and civil unions. I really wish that was an option.

NotGeoffVader · 03/02/2013 11:07

I have no idea why it's a big deal. People want to get married, they should be able to.

But Carted has hit the nail on the head. " think it would be great if everyone, gay or straight, had the right to choose between marriage and civil unions. I really wish that was an option."

sooperdooper · 03/02/2013 11:09

I don't see why people get so irrate about it either, it's up individuals how they live their lives and society should allow everyone to have an equal opportunity to have a happy life, and for that to include marriage if that is what they choose, whether that is in a hetro or homosexual relationship

Marriage doesn't just legitimise having children, plenty of married couples choose not to have children, but it gives a legal status in a partnership and I don't see why your sexual orientation should make any difference to whether you can choose that

Fairylea · 03/02/2013 11:10

I don't understand it either.

I really don't understand how it changes marriage. It doesn't. Even if people come out with the lines about marriage being a foundation for children (which I don't think it has to be at all) then how does that explain heterosexual couples who marry but choose not to have children or who can't??

Bigotry is outdated. Marriage should be for anyone who is in love and who wants to have that ceremony regardless of sex etc.

Squitten · 03/02/2013 11:11

Carted I have always wondered - if everyone has the opportunity to get married in a registry office or wherever, no religious angle whatsoever, then why do we need civil partnerships at all?

Cornycabernet · 03/02/2013 11:11

it's bigotry

sooperdooper · 03/02/2013 11:13

Cross posts, I agree with Carted, hit the nail on the head for me there :) It's about gving everyone the same options, should they choose to take them

Original poster
Ponderingonaquandry · 03/02/2013 11:15

It makes me wonder why people have problems with monogamous gay marriage but are happy when a straight person gets married hundreds of times and blatantly doesn't care about the sanctity of marriage (yes Katie price i am referring to you!)

OP posts:
loofet · 03/02/2013 11:17

Because SOME religions refuse to move with the times and are stuck back in Medieval times.

Love is love and people are people.

Lesbeadiva · 03/02/2013 11:17

Is equal marriage rather than gay marriage too. We won't have our own version of gay marriage, we would just all have equal marriage.

I don't think it is a huge deal, in that me being able to marry my wife will not somehow undermine the marriage of my sister and her husband.

Plus I would be able to say I am married. Rafter than saying i am civilly partnered. They should change it on that basis alone, it's a bloody mouthful.

Lesbeadiva · 03/02/2013 11:17

"It is" not "Is" Blush

sooperdooper · 03/02/2013 11:18

I think the religious argument somehow assumes that giving gay people the option of getting married means that people will somehow decide to be gay and get married, as if it's a conscious choice, but a person's sexuality is innate, being able to get married won't make people gay

Januarymadness · 03/02/2013 11:20

Yanbu. And, what carted said.

sooperdooper · 03/02/2013 11:20

Oh yes and agree, it should just be marriage for anyone, full stop, not gay marriage as a different thing, it should just be the same

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHopeful · 03/02/2013 11:25

I don't get why it is such a big deal either.

Totally agree that marriage and civil partnerships should be available for all.

CarlingBlackMabel · 03/02/2013 11:25

OP: Because we have as part of our establishment an outdated undemocratic institution that has 'doctrinal evidence' that in their belief system gay marriage is not allowed.

The more ludicrous and isolated from the beliefs of good ordinary people the CoE becomes, with thier lack of conformity to equal opportunities principles (no women bishops and no gay marriage) the more a laughing stock our national constitution becomes.

No better argument for disestablishmentarianism. Bring it on, and free the CoE to operate like the arcane sect it is, free to practice it's beliefs without imposition on the rest of us.

whateveritakes · 03/02/2013 11:25

Is it only Christian marriages though that are having this discussion? Would Islamic, Hindu, Jewish gay couples have the right to marry in Britain?

Essexgirlupnorth · 03/02/2013 11:26

No I don't get it either the civil partnership ceremony uses the same vows as the civil marriage it just replaces marriage with civil partnership.
Gay couples want it called marriage like heterosexual couples but the church doesn't like it because it says in the bible marriage is between one man and one woman.

McNewPants2013 · 03/02/2013 11:29

If a church don't do gay marriage, then they shouldn't do a marriage for someone who has been divorced.

Matthew 19:10-12 is very hard to undertstand as nobody knows what is meant by an eunuchs

Maryz · 03/02/2013 11:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.