to ask you what you consider 'essentials'

[limon]

As long as you aren't really struggling financially, do you consider toileteries and hair cuts and clothes you don't actually need as 'essentials' that should come out of the family 'pot'.

Toiletries and hair cuts, yes.

Clothes you don't need, no.

Some toiletries are essentials. And some hair cuts are as you might not be able to do your job if you were a right clip as my mam would say.

Clothes you do not need are not an essential.

Haircuts, clothes and toiletries for the kids, yes. For me or DH, no we use our own money for treats not 'family' money.

Why would something "you don't need" be an "essential"? Do you not know the definition of the word?

totally at a loss here.
struggling.

haircuts. everyone in the family will need hair cutting. they should all have it done professionally to keep hairdressers in business. it will need paying for. everyone's haircuts should be paid from the general income of the family. so budget for it.

yes that works for me.

clothes always have to be budgeted for, as do shoes, shoe repairs and dry cleaning.

toiletries? soap? shampoo? definitely.
make-up? who is wearing it and why? there is no need for the family to fund their teenage daughter's slap habit. mum working in an environment where make-up is part of the deal, and her wage contributing to family income, that makes make-up a family expense.

there. i tried.

Some toiletries yes and replacement school uniform, haircuts and new clothes? Nope. Anything you dont need isnt an essential

What I'm wondering is whether I should count my toiletries (including moisturizer - Avon, so not bargain price point), hair cuts, highlights (every four months) into what is essential each month - or whether I should exclude it and consider it should be bought out of "disposable income". Same with clothes - DP tends to buy lots of clothes which aren't really needed but are nice to have.

It shouldn't make a difference but I am bread winner and DP is sahd.

If I were struggling financially then I don't think I would consider haircuts an essential! For boys you can buy a hair trimmer from boots for circa £25 or less from wilkinson a etc and then do them yourself. Women could just grow their hair for a while until finances were better. Sanitary products etc are an essential. Cheap shower gel would do for all the family hair and body.

Make up including moisturiser is not essential. Soap and shampoo are.

Hair cuts are essential (IMO). Highlights aren't.

Not meaning to be rude... But it really isn't that hard??

I would consider basic toiletries, a basic, tidy hair cut and a basic wardrobe of clothes that are in reasonable condition and the correct size to fall somewhere in between "basic essential" and "luxury". Anything else - make up, extraneous toiletries, fancy hair cut or treatment, extra or expensive clothes - is a luxury imo.

Could you organise it so that you and DP each have an equal "personal budget" taken from your disposable income each month? That could be used for things like highlights, extra clothes etc?

As Skinnywhippet says though... There's more than one way to get a hair cut, including buying clippers.

We each have spending money for haircuts, clothes and 'premium' toiletries - and socialising.

Basic toiletries like shower gel, toothpaste etc come out of the family pot. Also underwear comes out of here, winter coats and DH's suits for work.

I have more spending money than DH to reflect that my haircuts cost more, and that I am funding all my clothes (am a SAHM).

Well both me and my DH work and just have "family money" - there is no distinction and we buy our toiletries, haircuts etc from this. Apart from DHs haircut because hes nearly bald

Well... if it's a problem area for the family you need to set a specific budget that covers it, imo.

I couldnt be quibbling over who had what and who had a hair cut that costs more.

Dh and ds get their hair cut every 8 weeks, costs about £15. I could get mine cut fir £15 and could away with getting it cut every 12 weeks. That would be my essential hair money. The highlights, the colours, the flashes, the products and head massages I add on is not essential. When the money isn't there that doesn't happen, I might splash out on a box dye.

If people were really struggling and needed a budget to clear debts/ keep head above water

Tv lisence not SKY
land line if no mobile - mobile contract is not
haircuts- yes if ppl work in a professional enviroment- for children I dont think so
rent, bills -yes not necessairly a car
toiletries- basic gel and moisturiser
make up - only if in work and needed

If your not in financial trouble

TV, broadband (for us)
mortgage, bills
hair cuts
Make up basic yes
savings for rainy day
car
Clothes- basic quality yes

Haircuts essential, highlights and other colouring not.
Soap, shampoo and moisturiser essential, make up and bath products not.
Work clothes, a warm coat and shoes essential, or when there's a big change in size making existing clothes unwearable, clothes bought for fun not.

Oh aye we don't have family pots etc, it's all just money.

What is the actual problem here? Do you want DH to spend less on clothes because he's not working or are you spending more than you want to be over-all every month or what? Perhaps the answers would help you more if we knew the actual problem.

When we've been hard up I have put off going to the hairdressers rather than go to a cheaper place. But this is not really sensible. And put off buying clothes. Then when I do have money to buy some nice new clothes there is nothing much I like.

I don't consider a hair cut to be essential. I trim DS's myself, and lob an inch of mine when it gets into a bit of a state. Surprised how many people consider that essential.

I think all money that comes in belongs equally to both parties.

I've drip fed a bit.

I am main wage earner, I work 4 days, dp works about two days (one regular) and l

I don't think a haircut is essential.