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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell them to find their own way to the airport in a foreign country

770 replies

EspressoMonkey · 20/01/2013 09:30

First of all, sorry, long story and first world problem.

DH, DCs and i live abroad for DH's job. We live in a rented house close to DH's work as it is not really easy for foreigners to buy property where he works. I miss England and our lovely home there, so last year DH bought me a Ski Chalet as a birthday present / thank you for leaving your family and job in England to follow me around the world, present. He insisted it was my chalet, i could decorate it how i wanted etc, do what i wanted with it.

The chalet is in a fabulous ski resort and to me it is very much our home. We spend most weekends there, we do not rent it out as a holiday chalet.

Last year MIL asked whether HSIL and her uni flat mates could visit for a weeks snowboarding holiday. I was reluctant to agree. DH's does not really know his HSis and when she has visited us in other homes she has been very messy (straightens hair over sink leaving behind lots of hair etc etc) and she never helps out at all. Reluctantly i agreed, MIL insisted her friends were nice and they would help out and babysit DCs in exchange for free board.

HSIL and her friends booked plane tickets which meant they landed late at night with no way of getting to the chalet so DH drove a 6 hour round trip to collect them from the airport.

They have been here all week and as i guessed, have been hard work. They have done nothing to help out around the house, not bothered to help with dinner or clean away afterwards, not helped with DCs or bothed to even buy me a bunch if flowers or some chocs to say thank you for having them. We all eat together but they talk amongst themselves and make little conversation.

On Wednesday DH was called back to work with a crisis, leaving DCs, myself and HSIL and her friends. Since then they have been worse, going out at night and getting drunk and returning at 2/3am and waking DCs and i with their noise. Last night things worsened. DCs and i were woken at 3am, i could hear male voices and smelt cigarette smoke. Our house is strictly non smoking, especially as we have a baby. I went into the lounge and interrupted the party. I asked the young men to stop smoking in my home and to please leave as i didn't know who they were. The young men were local lads and were very apologetic for smoking and waking us and explained they didn't know it was a private home. As they left one of HSIL's friends, under her breath, called me a snotty cow. I turned around and politely challeneged her on her comment. She repeated it and called me an old hag too (34 BTW, she is 20).

I went back to bed fuming and in tears. This morning i woke them all up at 8.00am. They are due to fly back home tonight and i assume were expecting DH or me to take them to the airport. I explained that because DH was not here and because we had had a lot of snow lately and the minibus was snowed in, they could make their own way back to the airport via public transport. I was not driving them 6 hours round trip. They had 12 hours to get back to the airport themselves. The journey is a bus and two train rides and takes a total of 3.5 / 4 hours. An hour later i heard the door bang and went to their rooms. They have left and take all their stuff. They have not said good bye. The room where the two girls were sleeping has been trashed. Make up; lipstick, foundation and other stuff has been smeared into my beautiful new White Company bed sheets. It doesn't look like an accident as it is on all the pillows, duvet and sheet.

I phoned DH at work and told him what had happened. It was a broken line and DH was v. busy at work so i know he wasn't really aware of the whole story as it was hardto talk. But he questioned whether i had checked they had money to get to the airport and whether the trains were running. I hadn't. I have checked since and the trains are running. But have i done the right thing? AIBU?

OP posts:
Seags · 19/05/2020 23:35

This was a great thread! (linked from another thread) Only really posting as it's now May 2020.
Wonder if OP ever got her own back on HSIL

agonyauntie2020 · 20/05/2020 06:07

Oh I love a zombie thread! I remember this one as well. Wouldn't it be totally awesome if the OP came back and gave us an update on:
(a) Horrible HSIL and the rude friend? Friend in prison for something?
(b) MIL and Big Barry (now married and living in Spain)
(c) Two ski instructors (now married and living next door to OP)

I never got the swimming pool in the basement thing.

Also the crazy poster Miss "I have four properties but the OP is boasting", where's she these days? I think she's moved to Florida.

birdling · 20/05/2020 08:11

Very much enjoyed this thread. Thank you for bringing it back (again) Grin

tobedtoMNandfart · 20/05/2020 09:06

Haha brilliant! Big Barry & Baby Barry have cheered me up no end in lockdown. Thanks!

viques · 20/05/2020 09:36

I do love a thread that won't lie down and die. I see it as a challenge.

Sharpening my thread killing superpower zombie sword. If I don't kill it then nothing will.

eaglejulesk · 20/05/2020 10:06

YANBU - what selfish entitled little madams!! I would have let them find their own way to the airport also. I would be phoning MIL and telling her what they did, and saying you will not be hosting her again.

eaglejulesk · 20/05/2020 10:07

Ha, ha - I didn't even notice how old this thread was - and how many pages! That will teach me. Grin

gumball37 · 20/05/2020 14:28

I'd call mil and say since you accepted them based on her assurances that they were lovely girls and would help out with DC, and that they were in fact awful and left a large mess, that you're expecting her to make sure HSIL reimburses you $x

gumball37 · 20/05/2020 14:28

I see now I've messed up... As others have commented this is old🤦

RRoonilWazlib · 22/05/2020 17:16

Can't stop grinning at Big Barry and Baby Barry Grin

kittycorner · 26/01/2021 02:48

You've done nothing wrong @EspressoMonkey and have been more than reasonable.

Never again allow them to stay, definitely give all the details to MIL and she should be making her daughter pay damages. Hard lesson but important one. Twenty years old and they behaved like toddlers having a tantrum.

PyongyangKipperbang · 26/01/2021 03:36

ZOMBIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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CrikeyPeg · 26/01/2021 04:06

Nothing wrong with a zombie thread fearutinr Big Barry and Baby Barry ... Grin

MrsSmith2021 · 26/01/2021 06:53

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Catmummyof2 · 26/01/2021 07:06

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

CrikeyPeg · 26/01/2021 07:09

@Catmummyof2

I know it’s a zombie thread, but it’s the first time I’ve read this story, and I’d love to know what’s happened since!
Same Catmummy
Catflapkitkat · 26/01/2021 07:23

Can't keep a good Zombie down and this is a good one

Bakeachocolatecake2day · 26/01/2021 07:29

Brilliant thread, remember reading it at the time (2013-Zombie!)! Hope @EspressoMonkey is around for an update!

Fuckitsstillraining · 26/01/2021 07:39

Take photos as evidence for mil, you will need it. The little bitch and her friends will lie and say you were horrible, uptight etc, don't ever have them to stay again and put this visit down to use as an answer if they or anyone else asks to use your beautiful home as a cheap holiday base again. Remember its yours, its your escape, your reward for living away, your relaxation aid and you are entitled to it.

PolarnOPirate · 26/01/2021 07:40

I love this thread Grin I'm just taking comfort in the fact that now, 8 years later ish, they hopefully look back at their behaviour and cringe themselves inside out.

Sceptre86 · 26/01/2021 07:40

You should have thrown them out after one of them called you a snotty cow. I would take photos and demand mil pay for the damage. I would also explain how shotty they behaved before his sister gets on thr phone to her mother and explains her side of the story. I would have been so passed that they invited men over they didn't know whilst you had young children in the house.

Do not allow them or mil to stay at your chalet ever again.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 26/01/2021 07:41

You have done the right thing-definitely.

TBH, I would have thrown them out that night after the "snotty cow" and "hag" remarks.

I would also get in touch with MIL, tell her exactly what happened, send photographs of the state of the room, the sheets etc, and tell her you want the sheets replacing and all damage paid for (you won't get it, but it will let them know that you are really, really p*ssed).

And tell her that she need NEVER ask again for anyone to stay at YOUR chalet, because the answer will always be "NO!", so she can save you both time and energy by not even asking. That goes for her, too - she isn't welcome.

Didi they contribute any money towards their food at all?

Tiddlywinkly · 26/01/2021 07:45

Oh bloody hell! Blast from the past. I was pregnant with my first child when this thread started. She's 7! Thanks

Posyc · 26/01/2021 07:51

Take photos. Email them to Mil with the description of the stay that you have given here. Awful.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 26/01/2021 07:51

I can't see that MIL has behaved like a cow, I would not send her a bill for the sheets. It will just create long term bad feeling, you don't need to start a feud with her, too.

I would regard that particular ship as having long since sailed.