To think recovery from a csection is not necessarily harder than from a vb?

[Cathycomehome]

Have had both. Second ELCS because of secondary tokophobia. I have a friend who is militant about home birth/natural childbirth. She states on her facebook pages"Recovery from section is painful, hard and unpleasant."

Not in my case.

I would have no issue if she'd said "can be", like I might say, "recovery from vb CAN BE painful, hard and undignified".

She also said to my face that "women like me" cause fear and put people off natural childbirth.

It's all down to the individual.

Bit of an odd friend though

She's a bitch. YABslightyU. Statistically, CS are a bit more to get over than a 'routine' VB. However, I had a great, no problems CS and found it a snap in comparison to people I know with complicated VBs.

Your friend sounds rather unpleasant.

I have had both and bounced back after my VB, took weeks to recover from CS.

Might have been due to the fact that it was a crash section.

Your friend is the one causing fear. What about women who for medical reasons cannot have a VB?

My emergency section (following a long labour, failed forceps etc) took me a long time to get over. My elective section was much easier to recover from.

I haven't had a C-Section, but I would expect it to be painful, hard and unpleasant TBH. I have never understood why anyone would choose to do it unless it was a matter of life and death - my friends and I were all terrified of ending up with one!

On the other hand, if you have experience of both and your friend doesn't, then your knowledge trumps hers. And mine! I am shocked at your friend's dismissive "Women like you" comment. Women like that put me off being friends with them. Leave the bastard!!!

She is an odd friend, worra. We were at college together; I do like her, but I think we are becoming more and more different. She posted a facebook thing for her home birth group recently about "birth choices" which in my view was only about "how not to give birth any other way than home birth without medication"

and she is your friend because?

just let the relationship dwindle away

I've had both. My VB was long, painful and traumatic, ended with forceps and stitches, and it took me a long time to recover. My planned CS was calm and painless, and my recovery was much quicker.

Same here, primrose.

what a fruit loop she sounds .... having had both types of birth i'd go for the section every time...didn't hurt at all, i just took everything they offered me - it was great :)

I can't compare as I've had 2 VBs. But although the stitches I needed for DC1 and the serious piles I got after DC2 were irritating, I don't think that was as bad as recovering from a CS. I was in a ward after DC2 was born because she was induced after waters breaking but no labour, the other women on the ward were all post CS. I think those early hours/days were much harder for them as they were less mobile and seemed to be suffering more pain.

I think your "friend" sounds like a pain, hard-nosed and unpleasant herself.

I think recovery from birth is painful, hard and unpleasant tbf. I don't really believe in these people who skip away from it, baby in one hand, endorphins in the other. And ive certainly never met one in RL. But I digress. She is being insensitive and stupid. An ELCS is not the same as going 'do you know what, I dont give a fuck and I really am too posh to push'.

I would defriend or at least block. You're living with tokophobia (me too and I think you're amazing for managing a second dc. I couldn't do it), you don't need arses like that popping up on your fb feed.

yanbu - there are a wide range of experiences with both births. One problem with cs's in general is that emcs tends to be used as the benchmark, and they tend to be a lot 'worse' and harder to recover from. It's a bit like taking an agonising traumatic vb with umpteen interventions and a 4th degree tear as standard and saying 'there, that's what they are all like!'

Attitudes towards planned cs in particular are so complex and emotional though. I don't know what your friend's ishoos are, but you don't need to let her problems become yours, iyswim.

whispers the section was so much better, I'm thinking seriously about dc3! After the vb, it took me twelve years to contemplate pregnancy! Ds2 is 4 months old....

I hope you're blocking her on Facebook?

I dunno. When we used to see each other regularly, I really liked her. She has gone SO obsessed with so called "natural" birth though.

I agree Cathycomehome. It took me weeks to recover from the forceps and the third degree tear. I had an awful time coming to terms with being a new mother and I hurt for months.

But my elective was fantastic - the best thing I ever did. It didn't hurt at all, and I can honestly say I was up and walking miles within days. It was an all around positive experience. Four years after my first baby, I felt like I could do mother hood under my terms.

Isn't it funny how some people get so emotional over what it, at the end of it, a really small part of bigger adventure ? I honestly can't remember the birth weight of either of my babies - again it seemed important once but only for about 5 minutes.

(Oh, I'm not sure that people like you put woman off natural birth. The statistics on double incontinence on the other hand....)

Have had two ELCS. Both times have recovered really well. The second time, I was walking around the ward within hours and home the next day.

I truly enjoyed the whole operation this time, the staff were lovely in the theatre and I felt very relaxed. Have felt minimal pain.

Well your friend doesn't understand evolution. Our brains got bigger because it was better, we stood upright because it was better, our hips had to stay relatively small because of that. Our brains stopped growing when it got to the point that not too many women died in childbirth while still walking upright.

It is perfectly 'natural' for quite large numbers of women to die in childbirth because the benefits to the species of large brains and walking upright are so amazing for us. 'Natural' gets used to replace 'good' for some people. Nature is actually nasty, brutal and unfeeling.

Has she actually experienced a birth yet or is she pregnant? If still in the rosy glow of 'make mine a water birth' wish list pregnancy idealised version of childbirth that's one thing, but if she actually has had a positive birth experience and thinks that that's the only way you can give birth then she needs a kick.

I've had a natural labour ending in an emergency section and two no choice but electives. I know what I'd go for if I had to do it again bloody unlikely

I think it is fair to say that in general it takes longer to recover from CS than VB. It is one of the reasons why we don't routinely offer CS.

But that statement doesn't do justice do the wide range of individual circumstances. Emergency CS after a long labour is of course harder to recover from than an elective CS. A really, really brutal VB is probably the worst of the lot.

She sounds horrid. You should tell her that its women like her who heap guilt on other women over their birth choices and make them feel inadequate and insecure.

Everyone is different and she is being very arrogant to think she has all the answers.

She has had two very successful and happy home births. I have had one "text book, simple" vb and one elcs because I found the "easy" vb so traumatic!

I think if people are going to push all this stuff about CS then they have to push the possible truth about VB too.

I had a pretty fucking horrible induced VB (and a long running aftermath of problems), I had the option of that or a CS a week later, I probably should have taken the latter in all honesty.

I'm not saying CS aren't hard to recover from btw, just that in some situations (including psychologically) it can definitely be the better option.