strange that most people who are open to ELC are also open to HB and VB but alot of militancy the other way from the HB crowd.
I really really dislike people saying that people who air thier birth stories are trying to compete in gore and drama and whose was worse.
Redtoothbrush is so eloquent I wish I could put my points across lilke you but you have summed it all up so well.
Its VITAL that women talk about birth and thier stories and experiences, once info is out there...you can choose to take it how you wish ignore - take with pinch of salt etc...but for goodness sake dont make women feel bad for talking about what happened to them,
I have been alert to birth stories nearly all my life since I was very young as I have always been afraid of it -not once have I ever heard a woman bragging or talking in a seemingly " competitive" way about how - awful her birth was. Not once in all the toddler groups - nct etc I have been to has anyone said in a braggy way " oh yes i tore like buggery down there will never pee again"...
Who would suggest such things> It sounds like north korean thinking to me - supress surpress surpress and make women feel bad about talking and sharing!
I like you cathy had a textbook birth but that was awful for me, and then an ELC.
From the panic attack I had - ( mild ) on entering theatre I did realise that is my way - i am very emotional and a thinker and I did panic but the panic didnt last very long whereas it didnt stop duiring my first labour which went on for hours.
I had a glorious first day cuddling the baby and had no problems changing the nappy on the hospital bed - feeding baby and cuddling which is all you can do with a new born and all you are supposed to do anyway!
My experience was marred dreadfully by a nasty MW coming round telling me curtly about 8 hours after op that i need to " turn" i did a massive twist - pulled or did some damage and was in alot of pain in that point afterwards.
If it wasnt for that I would have been totally fine.
Its GREAT to feel my pelivc floor - and have all down below nicely intact, its great not to have lower back pain, and to be able to use the loo in comfort.
Its not great to have pain on side - after twist or being limited once home - I had alot of help. I am not sure what I would go for if I had a third...but comparing a text book birth with elective - recovery from both was hard but in very different ways....pain wise - i was def in more pain down below and in my vback after normal birth - pain with elctive was minimal