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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"school snobbery"

583 replies

dinkybinky · 13/11/2012 18:48

I think it?s hysterical that some people think that if you child doesn?t attend a Grammar school or selective independent then they?re not academic. The level of ?school snobbery? that goes on is quite bewildering sometimes.

OP posts:
WakeyCakey · 13/11/2012 18:51

I went to a very posh and ridiculously expensive school, I wouldn't class myself as academic, I have A-levels but dropped out of Uni.

Friends who went to our local state school have been to Oxford and become doctors etc etc.

Nothing to do with the place, just about the people themselves

ChaosTrulyReigns · 13/11/2012 18:51

I don't really understand, sorry.

thebody · 13/11/2012 18:54

Also don't understand. What twat would think that anyway?

Lots of parents choose private ed as their children struggle in state system and need smaller classes.

I went to a grammar and am defiantly not academic.

My kids went to state comp and 2 at uni and other 2 headed there.

Who cares.

Original poster
dinkybinky · 13/11/2012 18:59

Exactly, who cares! There seems to be types that think that if your child doesn?t attend one of the selective schools then there is no hope for the poor little loves.

OP posts:
pointythings · 13/11/2012 18:59

Well, there are no grammars in my area and we could never afford independent of any kind, but my DDs are seriously academic. I'd laugh at anyone who suggested otherwise just because they go to the local state schools, tbh.

However, I've never encountered this attitude from anyone, despite having friends who have their children in selective independents - they are happy with their choices, we're happy with ours and there isn't a problem.

Mintyy · 13/11/2012 19:03

Well ... presumably the people who choose private school or tutor for grammar school do so because they think the state schools are not good enough for their children. I can't see any other reason for it? So that implies a certain degree of "snobbery".

Original poster
dinkybinky · 13/11/2012 19:04

I've not experienced it in RL only on the school forums here!

OP posts:
EllenJaneisstillnotmyname · 13/11/2012 19:06

Hah, my DS2 has passed for grammar school and some people cannot understand why I've put two local comps down as 1st and 2nd choice with the grammar as a last resort!

EllenJaneisstillnotmyname · 13/11/2012 19:07

Oops, DS3 not DS2, so used to talking about DS2 who has ASD. Blush

VivaLeBeaver · 13/11/2012 19:12

I only know one person in rl who is like that. When I said which comp dd was probably going to be going to she sneered "I won't be sending my dd there"

She is a twat, not just about that but about a multitude of other things. I avoid her now.

pointythings · 13/11/2012 19:14

I haven't experienced it on MN either, OP. Lots of support around SATs time with people cheering each other on, can't say I've seen any threads which clearly say that a child can't be academic unless they are in some form of selective school Confused.

thekidsrule · 13/11/2012 19:17

Mintyy
Well ... presumably the people who choose private school or tutor for grammar school do so because they think the state schools are not good enough for their children. I can't see any other reason for it? So that implies a certain degree of "snobbery".

totally agree with this

school snobbery is rife in RL and here

wtf1981 · 13/11/2012 19:19

the body. . .

Why are you "defiantly not academic"?

;)

Original poster
dinkybinky · 13/11/2012 19:19

There is an air of ?Hyacinth Bucket? in certain posters, posts it?s quite amusing. Education is about so much more than having your head stuck in a book IMO

OP posts:
FreudiansSlipper · 13/11/2012 19:22

i took ds out of a state school and moved him to a prep. yes i do think he will do better there, was the other school not good enough no it is not that it is not good enough but the school he is in now is better for his education. lucky to be able to do this

i think it is more about how you feel about yourself or what you think others are thinking not what they actually are thinking mos people really do not give a toss about choices of other parents

dinky i thought you lived abroad or am i confusing you with someone else

thekidsrule · 13/11/2012 19:23

seriously some of the best educated people i know lack common sense

so as great as a top education may be you cant tutor,buy common sense imo Smile

Original poster
dinkybinky · 13/11/2012 19:26

I just moved back in September that's why I find it so strange. Things have changed a lot in a few years.

OP posts:
midseasonsale · 13/11/2012 19:26

A grammar about 2 mins from us teachers it's mixed sex pupils that they are the best! The best of what? The best of those that sat the test surely? The best due to tutoring on how to sit the grammar test maybe?

neverquitesure · 13/11/2012 19:27

Well we only have state comprehensives and lovely but very pricey fee-paying schools in our area so the whole thing goes over my head.

notimetotidy · 13/11/2012 20:18

It rubs off on the kids as well.

Last week I had my friend's son in the car and drove past the new grammar being built near to where we live. My son goes to the newly built secondary school. Friend's son (who has an older brother who goes to a grammar in another town) says to my DS 'Are you not aiming to get into the grammar? The school you go to is no good because it is only a high school.'

Honestly, it took a lot of deep breathing not to say to him 'oh, do fuck off dear.'

sue52 · 13/11/2012 20:24

If you live in Kent your choice is between Grammar or Secondary modern as there are no Comprehensives to cater for children of all abilities. A certain madness takes over some parents in year 4/5 and the school gate is best avoided.

LaQueen · 13/11/2012 20:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mam29 · 13/11/2012 20:38

Its not just at secondry its primary level here that they started debating in postnatal.

One lady I met lived in affluent new build estate-private -all family homes the 2newish built well performing primary schools in her area full so ended up with 3rd choice same 3rd choice as i picked older community primary with majority from the estate and in special measures and said she gets embaressed when people ask and says she sees their reaction and thinks they judging her.

Another local community primary once bad now good lovley new build , grounds still gets overlooked as people talk about its old reputation.

People very specific here if they dont get their 1st choice then many opted for private prep or pick village school miles away yet all the schools walkable local are ok none of them are sink schools.

Im dreading secondry but we not grammer area.
lots of shiney academies though.

foslady · 13/11/2012 20:50

I came home fizzing last night over a discussion about this with 2 other mums. Apparently my dd won't stand a chance of GS because I haven't (and won't) private tutor her for 3 years (should of started when she went into 'juniors', and that was 2 years ago), and should have been quizzing the teachers since she started. When I said I didn't agree with it, as the kids who have been tutored purely to pass an exam will have a miserable 5 years struggling to keep up, I was told 'Well, yes, but that's besides the point, look at the alternatives'. When I pointed out we have some very good comprehensives (neighbours kids went there and eldest got an honours degree, youngest is now doing masters, my niece has just started at uni after getting A*/A results after attending there) I got the 'humph, there can be a lot of changes at those schools..........'

If it wasn't that dd has now started to express an interest in the damn place I really would be crossing it off my list if that's the parental influences of the kids attending......

OwedToAutumn · 13/11/2012 20:54

I really dont get all the angst!

Don't most people just choose the best school for their DC from the options available to them?