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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that you shouldn't be staring down my shirt?

193 replies

TulisaLover · 08/11/2012 23:00

I was leaning over sorting out some papers on my desk today and a colleague came up to my desk and started talking about a meeting the team were having. When I looked up I immediately realised where he had been looking and he got a bit flustered. I put my hand on my top to hold it against me and gave him a look of disdain back. Am i being unreasonable to think that any reasonable man would have averted their eyes? What would you do?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 08/11/2012 23:02

I'm a woman and I can't help looking at boobage on display sometimes.

It's only part of your body.

Fakebook · 08/11/2012 23:02

I'd wear tops that covered my boobs, even when I bent over.

Marzipanface · 08/11/2012 23:04

Cover boobs. Men will have a quick look. I probably would despite being female and straight.

TulisaLover · 08/11/2012 23:05

Erm...why should I wear different tops? I like the one I was wearing - I get hot otherwise.

OP posts:
kinkyfuckery · 08/11/2012 23:06

If you will wear tops that are revealing, you have to expect that sometimes people will look. He didn't act or say anything inappropriate, did he?

I'd have a look too. Maybe you've got a nice rack.

TulisaLover · 08/11/2012 23:07

No he didn't do anything else - I think i made it quite clear I knew where he had been looking and I wasn't happy about it.

OP posts:
BeauNeidel · 08/11/2012 23:07

I would probably look as well. Any 'flash' of skin, whether intentional or not, is going to make me look. Same as anything unexpected happening is probably going to make me look!

That said, ogling ain't nice.

WorraLiberty · 08/11/2012 23:07

If you like it then wear it

If it shows your boobs then you're obviously cool with that...and why shouldn't you be? It's just another body part afterall.

But I don't see why you should take it badly when someone looks at said body part?

If was covered it couldn't be seen, could it?

Fakebook · 08/11/2012 23:09

Well if you like wearing tops that show your boobs off then expect people to look.

squeakytoy · 08/11/2012 23:09

" I like the one I was wearing - I get hot otherwise."

riiiiiiight... so an extra button done up would make you get hotter??? Grin

Cozy9 · 08/11/2012 23:10

U shouldn't be wearing revealing clothing if you don't want parts of your body you don't want other people to see to be revealed.

TulisaLover · 08/11/2012 23:10

OK seems I am being unreasonable - but he was definitely ogling.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 08/11/2012 23:10

I remember sitting at a school Governor meeting last summer, surrounded by 8 women with mahoosive knockers spilling out of various vest tops and dresses.

It was hard to look anywhere else to be honest and all power to them...they looked nice and cool Grin

ChippingInLovesAutumn · 08/11/2012 23:10

Don't flaunt your boobs and expect everyone else to 'avert' their eyes - wear clothing appropriate for the office. Not that tricky. No matter how hot it is an extra inch of top across your chest isn't going to make you overheat Hmm

Fakebook · 08/11/2012 23:11

Sorry I just saw your nickname. < rolls eyes >.

Bunbaker · 08/11/2012 23:12

Sorry, but it's human nature to look if someone displays their wares (even if it is unintentional).

I think you have unrealistic expectations about men averting their eyes.

If you don't want people to look wear less revealing clothes.

apostropheuse · 08/11/2012 23:15

You can certainly wear whatever you want to wear, but you're the one who's choosing to reveal body parts that you don't want anyone to look at.
Seems a bit daft.

Just show what you want to show and cover what you don't want to be looked at.

TulisaLover · 08/11/2012 23:15

I've accepted I'm being unreasonable fakebook. What's wrong with my nickname??? She's a brilliant role model.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 08/11/2012 23:19

a brilliant role model for what exactly??? Grin

Fakebook · 08/11/2012 23:20

...Right. :).

TulisaLover · 08/11/2012 23:22

squeaky - for people everywhere. She's shown you can rise out of the ghetto and make a life for yourself.

OP posts:
MrsCantSayAnything · 08/11/2012 23:25

People will look they just will. I look when flesh is on show even if I'm not attracted.

A Dad on our school run always has hairy cleavage on show and I just feel like my eyes GO there whether I want them to or not.

Fakebook · 08/11/2012 23:30

Does the UK really have ghettos though? and she hasn't really risen much either. She's a talentless bint who has a sex tape. Sounds like every other attention seeking whore that's a celebrity these days. Hardly something for young women to aspire to.

MissWinklyParadiso · 08/11/2012 23:30

The ghetto? She grew up in Belsize Park!

squeakytoy · 08/11/2012 23:37

pmsl at "the ghetto".. we dont really have ghettos in london..

she drinks, smokes, takes drugs, and somehow gets really shit music in the charts, she is no role model..