Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be very hurt and angry

64 replies

PrincessSymbian · 07/11/2012 21:43

With my sister, as I have garnered a place in an art show for a couple of weeks time and her response to being told that I'd appreciate her support was that she would be working in the morning and then catching up on some sleep in the afternoon, "send me some pictures while I'm working"
Background she is 21, doing an access to nursing and working part time in Sainsburys but she, apparently, is not getting enough time for herself.
More background, I was doing some research for a job this morning that would be medically based and she told me that (I hadn't asked, nor was I going to) she'd stay to help, only she was off to the gym.

OP posts:
StickEmWithThePointyEnd · 07/11/2012 21:45

Yabu, she is studying, working and knackered. Send her some pictures and I'm sure she will be supportive that way.

WorraLiberty · 07/11/2012 21:46

You do sound a bit needy.

Are there other people you can run your pictures by?

diddl · 07/11/2012 21:48

Well from that YABU.

She´s busy!

Would be great if she could be there, but she can´t.

TeaTeaLotsOfTea · 07/11/2012 21:54

er she's 21 [hmmm] and a student. I hardly ever spoke to my family in those days. I just simply didn't have the time or the inclination I was far too busy with my own life and so were my student housemates.

I know it sounds selfish of her but that is just how people are at that age. (imo)

TeaTeaLotsOfTea · 07/11/2012 21:55

Hmm obviously

MammaTJ · 07/11/2012 21:58

YANBU, I am doing an access course, working full time, have two young children, one of them probably with ADHD and would still make time for something like that.

BUT, I am 45 and have developed in to a super human being in order to deal with all of this, she is a 21 year old and by nature they are a bit selfish!

SO, YANBU in your expectations and YABU in really believing she will meet them any time soon.

GhostShip · 07/11/2012 22:04

I'm 21 years of age, working full time and doing an access course. It is challenging, and I'm knackered.

I don't blame her for wanting time to herself, I'm sure it's limited as it is.

Why do you need her support? It sounds a bit needy to be honest.

DawnOfTheDee · 07/11/2012 22:08

Did you phrase it like that "I'd appreciate your support"?

Does sound a bit needy and not like you actually want her there but you expect her to be there.

mutny · 07/11/2012 22:08

What support is she required to do?

YABU.

McChristmasPants2012 · 07/11/2012 22:08

Stundent nurses work just as hard as the nurses and NA, i belive it's a full time job while they are on placement ( trust me i work in a hospital as a cleaner and i see Student nurses all the time) on top of this there is course work and also she has a part time job. I bet she doesn't have time to breathe.

Why do you need her support, because i think it should be the other way around tbh.

GhostShip · 07/11/2012 22:10

McChristmas access to nursing isn't a student nurse, its more like an A Level. Its so you can go on to study nursing at uni :)

ImperialBlether · 07/11/2012 22:10

It doesn't sound as though she's on placement, though. Our Access students study for about 16 hours per week.

OP, you're not being unreasonable. She sounds pretty selfish. Better to rely on friends, perhaps?

GhostShip · 07/11/2012 22:11

It is quite hard though and I too think the support should be the other way round! She'll have to work very hard to get the distinctions needed for nursing, so OP you may need to lay off a bit I'm afraid.

whois · 07/11/2012 22:13

She's 21. Nuff said ;-)

HullyChristmasgully · 07/11/2012 22:13

I very much like your use of the word "garnered"

GhostShip · 07/11/2012 22:13

Grrrr not all 21 year olds are the same you know.

ChippingInLovesAutumn · 07/11/2012 22:16

I don't understand why people ask people for their support - surely if it's not freely given it's not really support Confused

MrsDeVere · 07/11/2012 22:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GhostShip · 07/11/2012 22:21

I actually do grrrrr in real life.

Viviennemary · 07/11/2012 22:21

I'm not sure exactly what you mean by 'her support'. What would be involved. Do you just mean you want her to visit the art show. Maybe she hasn't got time.

MrsDeVere · 07/11/2012 22:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GhostShip · 07/11/2012 22:25

It's more like a mumble grrrr. I'm more like an old biddy then a 21 year old to be honest... Victor Meldrew comes to mind...

Anyway OP, good luck to you on your art show, and your sister on her access course :)

Original poster
PrincessSymbian · 07/11/2012 22:25

I said, while at dinner with her, my mum and step-dad, that I'd really appreciate it if they would come by.
She is not on placement yet and if she ever needs anything, it's not a case of her asking, she demands.
I do think relationships should be a two way process but with her, it is only ever one way.
It's not like I'm asking her to do something horrible, it's an art festival and she likes art!

OP posts:
GhostShip · 07/11/2012 22:26

If your parents are going to be there what difference does it make?

WorraLiberty · 07/11/2012 22:38

I still don't really understand why your sister needs to come by if your parents are?

Ghostship I imagine your 'Grrrrr' to be Marge Simpson-esqe Grin

Swipe left for the next trending thread