Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

To be very hurt and angry

64 replies

PrincessSymbian · 07/11/2012 21:43

With my sister, as I have garnered a place in an art show for a couple of weeks time and her response to being told that I'd appreciate her support was that she would be working in the morning and then catching up on some sleep in the afternoon, "send me some pictures while I'm working"
Background she is 21, doing an access to nursing and working part time in Sainsburys but she, apparently, is not getting enough time for herself.
More background, I was doing some research for a job this morning that would be medically based and she told me that (I hadn't asked, nor was I going to) she'd stay to help, only she was off to the gym.

OP posts:

diddl · 08/11/2012 06:53

So you don´t like her, but expect her to go see your art?

Well for me, if I had time, I can´t imagine not going-even at 21!

But then my sister & I do like each other!

Perhaps if everyone didn´t run around after her she wouldn´t be so selfish/entitled.

CSIJanner · 08/11/2012 07:19

It's not abut being needy - its about family moral support on something that's a big deal. I bet the sister would be affronted if OP said that she needed me time when it comes to graduation day with gowns and caps. When something's a big deal, has been worked towards a long time and means a lot, family want to share the experiences. I'm with OP - she doesn't have to stay all day, but just needs to show her face, have a drink, then go home to rest.

GhostShip · 08/11/2012 07:50

So you try to like her? That sentence in itself is telling :(

Pontouf · 08/11/2012 07:57

Agree with CSI and not really sure why people are being so unpleasant to the OP . I'm sure people would say she was being selfish if she was crying off her graduation for me time.

LST · 08/11/2012 08:25

Threads like these piss me off. I've just turned 22 and I am fed up of people commenting in a derogatory way. If it was the other way round there would be uproar!

Back to then op. she may be tired burn would at least try to come tbh. Unless maybe if I lived miles away.

LST · 08/11/2012 08:26

back to the op. she may be^ tired...

ConfusedPixie · 08/11/2012 08:33

Her she has nothing to do with it, In your opinion your sister is a pain in the arse. I can understand that, my 22yo sister is the same. Always has been, that's just her, not her age.

Says another 'young' one (I'm 23) who has provided for herself since teens and most of my friends did too. I've never understood posters trying to pin blame on any age under 25. "oh they're only 21/22/23/24, I was a prick at that age." So what, you were a prick, plenty that age aren't...

But yabu op. It'd be nice if she did come to the show but you shouldn't expect her too. I do get where you are coming from though, I think my sister would avoid such an event too but would expect new top move heaven and earth to attend if it were for her!

On a slightly different angle, she may ned the sleep. I know I need a lot and needed more at around 20/21 as I was quite ill then due to health problems and varying diet patterns. Before you say she's not ill, she may well be and you just don't know, my sisters certainly didn't and still don't really!

ConfusedPixie · 08/11/2012 08:33

Her age. Not her she

SufferingLampreys · 08/11/2012 08:35

I agree with csi
If op had been my brother and I was 21 I would have been incredibly proud and would have been there like a shot
I would also be hurt if I were the op. if she had to work or had a lecture then I would understand but not to go as she needs me time...

I got married at 21, had a job and a mortgage. Not all 21 year olds are the same

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 08/11/2012 09:06

It's something important to OP and pethaps she simply hoped her sister could squeeze in a visit to the show inbetween her part time job, access course studies and afternoon siestas, maybe fit in half an hour next time she goes to the gym. Sounds like this particular straw broke the camel's back. 21 or whatever age she is maybe she has form for it.

Cynner · 08/11/2012 09:21

I don't think YABU to feel disappointment with your sister. This show clearly means a lot to you. Unfortunately, people we love do let us all down at one time or another. You certainly do not want to guilt trip your sister in to attending. You extended the invite, she declined. You will go to the show and have a brilliant time.
Btw, congratulations on your achievement! My "artwork" consists of throwing stickers everywhere, followed up by a liberal sprinkling of glitter..

perceptionreality · 08/11/2012 09:30

I think YAB a bit U. Nursing is extremely hard work. You can't really expect the same levels of emotional support from a sibling as from a husband or partner imo...

socharlotte · 08/11/2012 09:37

You are expecting too much or her.She is your sister not your partnet, and not your parent!
she isn't being selfish, you are in expecting her to come!

Kalisi · 08/11/2012 10:03

You said yourself OP that she likes arty things and would enjoy it. Therefore, if she is declining your invite it must mean she has a valid reason.
Your attitude towards her life does not sound pleasant. She works and studies which is more than I can say for some people. It is not necessary for your sister to be at your art show.

Flip

1 2 3