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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

made to feel ashamed for breastfeeding

109 replies

busywith5kids · 30/10/2012 23:31

hi have never posted before but wanted an opinion. i was in town the other day with my 21 month and 4 month old. it was raining and my 4 month old was crying for a breastfeed. i went into my bank and asked if i could please use one of there rooms to feed my baby. a lady looked at me like i was mad and said sorry we are not allowed. why do i still feel, after breast feeding 5 children, that people look at me with disgust and that using boobs to feed a baby is something to be hidden away from public view so that no one has to deal with it. dont get me wrong i am not a flop it out anywhere feeder and am always discreet but babies dont always want feeding when u are by a mothercare. should i write a letter to the bank and complain????

OP posts:
FutTheShuckUp · 30/10/2012 23:32

Do banks usually have spare rooms for members of the public to feed their baby?

VirginiaDare · 30/10/2012 23:32

Why would a bank of all places let you into one of their rooms to BF? Just sit in a cafe or something like the rest of us!

Honestly, your titular complaint is not matched by your post.

FutTheShuckUp · 30/10/2012 23:34

I think you are reading into it something that isn't there tbh

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 30/10/2012 23:34

I don't understand why you went into your bank? Why not just sit on a bench and feed your baby?

I am all for BFing, I am still feeding my 19 month old, but I wouldn't expect my bank to provide a private space for me to feed.

StrawberryTot · 30/10/2012 23:34

I don't want to sound harsh but I think YABU, I would never in my breast feeding days expected a bank to let me use one of their rooms to feed my baby nor would I ask. Probably going to get flamed for my response but hey ho that's the whole point to aibu Blush

IneedAgoldenNickname · 30/10/2012 23:36

Why should a bank provide a room for you to bf in?

nancy75 · 30/10/2012 23:37

Don't they have chairs in your bank? My guess would be that they didn't let you use a room because they use the rooms themselves to do bank related stuff.

missymoomoomee · 30/10/2012 23:38

I wouldn't walk into a bank and ask to eat lunch in one of their rooms nor would I expect them to accomodate my feeding my baby there either. Was there not a cafe nearby you could have gone into?

MichaelaS · 30/10/2012 23:38

I think the bank lady was shocked BECAUSE bf is normal and should not be hidden away from view. Why would you want a private room to bf in? At 4 months you are presumably past the difficult to latch stage and both know what you are doing?

What I mean is, why didn't you just sit down in one of their chairs in the main hall and bf there. Once you are started they cannot ask you to leave! 2010 discrimination act and all that. Or, as other posters have said, go to a cafe or anywhere really.

YABU to expect a bank to provide private feeding facilities, but YADNBU to want to bf in the dry and warm when your 4mo needs it. just find a corner somewhere and get on with it.

IneedAsockamnesty · 30/10/2012 23:39

im not really sure that you should because banks probally have rules about who can go where and when.

perhaps it may have been a better idea to go somewhere anywhere else where it wouldnt have been unreasonable to allow you to use a room.

in most banks the rooms tend to be peoples offices i would expect them to be in use during opening hours by customers and banking advisors and as such not availible for use unless you happened to have a meeting with a bank person at the time.

im thinking that it was probally an unusual request but not ur for them to refuse. but then again if it had have been me i would have just asked to use one of the chairs in the main bit but then i dont really ever use private rooms.

so perhaps just a bad choice of venue

Alisvolatpropiis · 30/10/2012 23:41

YABU to expect a bank to provide a room for you to breast feed. The rooms in banks are used for appointments aren't they?

BegoniaBampot · 30/10/2012 23:41

Don't believe this.

Fakebook · 30/10/2012 23:47

Oh my! Why the hell would you go into a bank of all places to bf your baby?! If you're that pro bf, then you'd have sat on a bench and fed her without giving a shit about what people think. Can't believe this thread!

elah11 · 30/10/2012 23:58

Madness, did you really expect the bank to just give you a special room so you could bf?? Go to a cafe or something like everyone else!

FatimaLovesBread · 31/10/2012 00:01

Why would a bank provide you with a room to feed in [hconfused]
Why not just sit in the main bank or on a bench or at a cafe?

Uppermid · 31/10/2012 00:02

Why on earth should the bank have given you one of their rooms. I'm guessing if there was a bank then there would have been a cafe for you to go to.

Bizzare

WorraLiberty · 31/10/2012 00:03

Lmao at asking the bank and getting offended when they say no Grin

Come on OP...really?

Flisspaps · 31/10/2012 00:06

I've sat in the pissing down rain before to feed DS when he's hungry (I got soaked, he got a full belly!)

I don't think you should complain, I think next time you should take another moment to think about where to feed your baby - you don't need to lock yourself away. Just get on and do it!

ConfusedHmm at 'flop it out feeder' - but I suppose I am what you'd consider to be one of those.

LadyEvilBeagle · 31/10/2012 00:06

Wind up, clearly.
The op clearly knows that there's nothing like a bf/ff thread to start a bunfight.

ilovesooty · 31/10/2012 00:08

I find it difficult to take this thread seriously.

ladymariner · 31/10/2012 00:09

Me too sooty.....mind you, perhaps we ought to try it. We could go into the chemist and ask to borrow a book, or maybe go into the cinema and order a meal.....possibilities are endless!

WorraLiberty · 31/10/2012 00:10

I'm disappointed that the opening post is all the OP seems to want to give us Sad

If you're going to wind em up and watch em go...you really need to try harder.

UltraBOF · 31/10/2012 00:14

Would you expect a bank to give you a room to bottlefeed a baby? Not if you were sane. So why you connect this to shame over breastfeeding, I don't know.

Hmm
ABatInBunkFive · 31/10/2012 00:24

YANBU Why just the other day i popped ito the bank to see if they had somewhere me and the kids could eat out maccyds, they said no the utter bastards! [hshock]

exoticfruits · 31/10/2012 00:29

Banks generally have some chairs - you could have sat on one of those and breast fed- you can't expect one of their rooms!