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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have blocked this person? Another Facebook thread, sorry

64 replies

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 29/10/2012 21:55

One of my vaguely acquainted friends' daughter wrote some daft comments on her mums Facebook page. Inevitably someone used the 'fraped' word. I commented on how awful that word is and immediately got shot down in flames. Told to chill, get a grip, etc. so in a fit of pique I blocked the person.

Was that a slight overreaction or was I right to take a bit of offence at people stil using that horrible bloody word?

OP posts:
OpheliaPayneAgain · 29/10/2012 21:57

It is a word in common usage - whether you feel offended by it is down to you. The person using it isn't a friend of yours, so really it is inconsequential whether you have blocked her or not.

PelvicFloorClenchReminder · 29/10/2012 21:57

YANBU. Hate it. Hate it hate it hate it

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 29/10/2012 22:04

YANBU to get fucked off with the word fraped.

YABU to care a toss that anyone may think that you overreacted.

BadgersBottom · 29/10/2012 22:05

Thoughts on being offended

GhostShip · 29/10/2012 22:06

Things is, and this is a debate we have had before, rape isn't just a sexual term.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 29/10/2012 22:28

So it doesn't matter if it was an overreaction then because nobody will care anyway?

That's alright then. Got away with it.

OP posts:
StewieGriffinsMom · 29/10/2012 22:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Almitra · 01/11/2012 11:48

I guess you really don't like Steven fry. Fair enough, but some of what he says is true and it's a double edged sword. We should be aware of how our actions and use of language effects others, but is a personal choice to take on board someone else's opinion and be offended by it.

It's not a word I would use personally though

FreakySnuckerCupidStunt · 01/11/2012 12:43

They have the right to use the word and not care if you find it offensive, you have the right to be offended by it and to speak your mind.

YANBU to block them if they have upset you.

WinkyWinkola · 01/11/2012 12:53

Is Fry a misogynist?

FreakySnuckerCupidStunt · 01/11/2012 13:03

Winkly I know he has been slated for previously making sexist comments, I don't think he is a misogynist though.

expatinscotland · 01/11/2012 13:05

I'd block. YANBU. Right up there with people who use retarded or retard in a derogatory fashion. Sickening.

quietlysuggests · 01/11/2012 13:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

axure · 01/11/2012 13:23

Fraped reminds me more of Frappe (coffee) than Rape, perhaps if I had personal experience of rape I'd feel differently, but doubt it. Bad things happen to people, we can't walk on eggshells trying to avoid all reference to anything which might cause upset, even it it seems flippant.

FiercePanda · 01/11/2012 15:43

I hate the way rape "jokes" are thrown around. YANBU.

maybenow · 01/11/2012 15:47

i hate that word too but i just ignore it when i see it, i think it's distasteful but it doesn't 'offend' me.

but i accept it could easily offend others.

Trills · 01/11/2012 15:49

You are never being unreasonable to block anyone on Facebook for whatever reason you wish, as long as you are prepared to deal with the possible consequences.

MrsWolowitz · 01/11/2012 15:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SecretCermonials · 01/11/2012 16:05

Unless a word (or sentence) is aimed at me, words dont specifically offend me. Frape cunt etc dont phase me as I take them as just words. I'm pretty hard to offend really I suppose, but I guess i'm in the minority there.

catwomanlikesmeatballs · 01/11/2012 16:19

You are entitled to block whoever you want but if you're going to publicly jump on people for using words you consider to be offensive then you should expect a response. It was very rude to criticise someone for offending your personal sensibilities. Lots of people put up stuff far more obnoxious than the word 'frape', when offensive stuff is posted you can report, block, pm, defriend or ignore. If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing. A pm explaining your position could be acceptable if it was someone you knew very well. A public lecture or criticism is absolutely not acceptable and if you do it, be prepared to be told to go fuck yourself.

Trills · 01/11/2012 16:20

"when offensive stuff is posted you can report, block, pm, defriend or ignore."

And you can also point out to the person who said it that it's offensive.

SackGirl · 01/11/2012 16:30

The word rape doesn't only mean one thing:

rape  
Origin
rape1    [reyp] Show IPA noun, verb, raped, rap·ing.
noun
1.
the unlawful compelling of a person through physical force or duress to have sexual intercourse.
2.
any act of sexual intercourse that is forced upon a person.
3.
statutory rape.
4.
an act of plunder, violent seizure, or abuse; despoliation; violation: the rape of the countryside.
5.
Archaic . the act of seizing and carrying off by force.

"the rape of the countryside" I have used the word rape for many situations, most of which are not to do with what all of you are talking about. To suggest that the word rape will be something that makes someone relive something that happened to them is just as ridiculous as saying 'don't mention the C word around her' to someone who has had cancer. It is a word. Not an action - no-one is saying it with malice.

Surely it is the intention of a word that is harmful not the word itself?

If I call my friend a bitch in a certain way she takes no offence. If I call someone who I don't get along with a bitch they take it completely differently... Maybe you should think about whether anyone meant any harm by what they said? If they had then they deserve blocking, if they hadn't then really YABU

Silence · 01/11/2012 16:32

Facebook is not the place for arguments.

catwomanlikesmeatballs · 01/11/2012 16:32

Yes Trills and if you choose to do that publicly they will probably respond in an even more offended manner. If you're going to lecture everyone who offends you then you're going to be constantly pissing people off. What is personally offensive to you is not offensive to everyone else.

Trills · 01/11/2012 16:33

Sometimes people offend out of ignorance, sometimes they do it deliberately, sometimes they think that you're wrong to be offended.

If you never say "that's offensive" you'll never know.

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