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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to be really cheesed off with DH

80 replies

stinklebell · 15/10/2012 10:10

First up, I know this is trivial and in the grand scheme of things completely unimportant, and we're still pretty lucky to be going, but I am gutted and cheesed off with DH.

We have 2 children, who have been begging for ages to go to Disneyland Paris.

We can't afford it on our own, so my Mum suggested that instead of buying loads of stuff for the kids, they'd pay for a trip to Disneyland as their Christmas present.

So we looked into it, found a fab deal for a 3 night stay to leave Boxing Day and we booked it last week.

DH and I agreed to keep it quiet, and not say anything at all until the morning we leave.

Saddo that I am, was really looking forward to seeing their faces when they realise that they're going there and then.

I went out for a couple of hours yesterday, and came back to oldest DC bursting with excitement about Disney.

DH had bloody told them.

I know there's nothing I can do about it, they can't be un-told, we'll still have a fab time, but I'm gutted I didn't even get to be here when they were told

OP posts:

MrsRajeshKoothrappali · 15/10/2012 10:11

That's harsh.

Did he say why he did it?

PinkFairyDust · 15/10/2012 10:12

Yanbu

Why did he tell them?!

pictish · 15/10/2012 10:12

Oh!! I would be beside myself!!!!

Why???? Why did he do such a thing???

Original poster

stinklebell · 15/10/2012 10:13

Because he can't keep a surprise. He's as excited about going as they are.

He could have at least waited until I got home so we could tell them together

OP posts:

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan · 15/10/2012 10:13

meany.

thats disappointing. did he do it deliberately?

pictish · 15/10/2012 10:13

He is a dick.

toofattorun · 15/10/2012 10:13

Oh my goodness, hold the cheese, I would be really fucked off indeed.

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 15/10/2012 10:15

I'd be annoyed. Does he know how upset you are?

Original poster

stinklebell · 15/10/2012 10:15

He's as big a kid as they are so is really, really excited himself.

He didn't do it deliberately to piss me off, just didn't think about it.

Cheesed off is an understatement I guess, I am properly fucked off about it.

OP posts:

OnTheBottomWithAWomansWeekly · 15/10/2012 10:16

That's really mean!

My mum got a "grandparent goes free" deal for me and DD when DD was 7. We told her about it Wed night and left on Thurs. I had to work late Wed so that I could have Thurs and Fri off. My folks were minding DD and waited till I got to their house so that I could see her face, there's no way they would have said till I was there.

Mind you, was he so excited that he couldn't keep it in himself, or does he have form for taking 'credit' for the nice bits of parenting?

OnTheBottomWithAWomansWeekly · 15/10/2012 10:17

OK x posted with OP, at least he didn't do it on purpose.

However the next time there is anything I wouldn't tell him at all - treat him like one of the kids!

Original poster

stinklebell · 15/10/2012 10:17

He doesn't 'get' why I'm pissed off.

We're still going so he thinkgs I'm being OTT about it.

I suspect that deep down he knows he was an arse and is being defensive

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 15/10/2012 10:18

YANBU, you should have had the pleasure of telling them together.

However, I wouldn't have left it until the morning because part of the pleasure (for me anyway) is looking forward to something.

LauraShigihara · 15/10/2012 10:19

Oh no, poor old you! This is the exact reason that my DH can't be told anything. He will always blurt it out.

He will try out Christmas presents in the next room to the children, in the hopes that they will realise. So I have to hide the stuff from him as well as from them. He would definitely tell about a surprise trip!!

Oh, you'll still have a nice time but I would make him suffer in the meantime...

pictish · 15/10/2012 10:19

DH and I agreed to keep it quiet, and not say anything at all until the morning we leave.

He's so out of order. I would be fuming over this for days I think. We haven't got any money to speak of and treats like this one are very thin on the ground. Spoiling the surprise would be unforgivable.

YellowDinosaur · 15/10/2012 10:21

Your dh is a twat. It wasn't his present anyway if I've understood it correctly - it's from your parents so if anyone should have had the excitement of telling them it's them.

Sure the kids are excited now. and you are still going. But you had agreed to easier and he is out of order to do this

dreamingbohemian · 15/10/2012 10:21

Oh my god, YANBU

I would be so gutted

JennerOSity · 15/10/2012 10:24

It would utterly taint my memory of the whole thing and as brilliant as the trip would be it be a thorn in my side that I missed such a key moment of the whole event! He should apologise in a big way! I would be gutted to miss that moment!

If he is struggling to understand, just point out how that moment can never be got back or come again and he took that away from you. If he can't 'get' that he is clearly dimmer than a dim thing.

Presumably he loved their reaction

Iheardthatpardon · 15/10/2012 10:25

OmG! How dare he - it is not his present either so YDNBU - leave the bastard!

StuntNun · 15/10/2012 10:28

YANBU, that's an awful thing for him to tell them when you weren't even there. At least if you had been with him it could have been a 'whoops I didn't mean to say that' moment. We didn't tell DS1 (age 6) we were going, it wasn't until we were on the coach from Paris Charles de Gaulle to Disneyland that I pointed at the sign for Disneyland and asked him what it said. His reaction: "ARE WE GOING TO DISNEYLAND?" was priceless. Your DH has stolen that opportunity from you and I want to kick him in the shins for it. BUT you will still have a fabulous time, I wish we were going again (last went 2009) but like you say, it's a bit pricey.

Original poster

stinklebell · 15/10/2012 10:34

It wasn't his present anyway if I've understood it correctly - it's from your parents so if anyone should have had the excitement of telling them it's them.

We've put some money towards it as we wanted to leave Boxing Day, but yes, it was mostly my parents. We're not seeing them over Christmas this year so Mum left it up to us as to what we did about telling them.

Presumably he loved their reaction

Yes, he did. They squealed and jumped around and are very excited. I'm gutted I missed it because mouth almighty couldn't keep his gob shut. I only went out with the dog

I didn't really think we'd get to Boxing Day without telling them to be completely honest, but I did think he'd last longer than 3 days.

We have these fabric advent calenders that you can put little sweets or toys in so I was going to suggest getting some magnetic fridge letters and put a different letter in each day until they'd spelt out Disneyland Paris and work it out for themselves

OP posts:

quoteunquote · 15/10/2012 10:37

What an idiot, they will now burn themselves out with over hyping between now and then.

And what a popularity tart stealing all of the moment when they are told, people who do this are always in it for the kudos, glory hunter parenting, very unfair and selfish.

Give this behaviour a category and a title(above) and you will find that those of the above ilk, are less likely to try it on in the future when they are aware that it won't slide unnoticed under the radar.

pictish · 15/10/2012 10:38

That would have been lovely!

I hate your dp. Sorry but I do. Selfish prick.

BillComptonstrousers · 15/10/2012 10:41

We have a suprise trip planned for Christmas as well, I would be fucking furious if my DH did this! I feel so angry and gutted in your behalf, I know I might sound a bit OTT, but I couldn't forgive him. What a selfish prick to take the lovely suprise away,I would have been in tears.

Original poster

stinklebell · 15/10/2012 10:41

Yes, I hate him right now too.

I know he didn't do it deliberately to hurt me, he's excited himself, but he's a grown up and should be able to control himself for a couple of hours.

OP posts:

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