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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be really cheesed off with DH

80 replies

stinklebell · 15/10/2012 10:10

First up, I know this is trivial and in the grand scheme of things completely unimportant, and we're still pretty lucky to be going, but I am gutted and cheesed off with DH.

We have 2 children, who have been begging for ages to go to Disneyland Paris.

We can't afford it on our own, so my Mum suggested that instead of buying loads of stuff for the kids, they'd pay for a trip to Disneyland as their Christmas present.

So we looked into it, found a fab deal for a 3 night stay to leave Boxing Day and we booked it last week.

DH and I agreed to keep it quiet, and not say anything at all until the morning we leave.

Saddo that I am, was really looking forward to seeing their faces when they realise that they're going there and then.

I went out for a couple of hours yesterday, and came back to oldest DC bursting with excitement about Disney.

DH had bloody told them.

I know there's nothing I can do about it, they can't be un-told, we'll still have a fab time, but I'm gutted I didn't even get to be here when they were told

OP posts:
SouthernComforts · 15/10/2012 10:44

Yanbu for all the reasons above.

Plus 2 months is a long time for children to stay excited for something, I'm sure the "is it Christmas yet? Are we going to Disneyland yet?" will get a bit wearing. Obviously your answer to those questions will be "ask your dad." Grin

pictish · 15/10/2012 10:44

I bet, and yes he should.

Mrsjay · 15/10/2012 10:44

aww no why did he spoil it for everybody it is supposed to be a christmas present and a suprise I would be fuming IF my DH did that,

BillComptonstrousers · 15/10/2012 10:45

God I'm in my house raging on your behalf!

JennerOSity · 15/10/2012 10:45

Oh! I love your spelling out the name advent calendar idea!

I'm fuming for you now!

Breath deeply.

I could forgive him if he appreciated what he had done - albeit accidentally / unthinkingly and apologised and at least acknowledged his error.

I am sure you will all have a brilliant time, and you have a couple of months to cool off about it - at least that is something!

diddl · 15/10/2012 10:46

"He didn't do it deliberately to piss me off"

Really-why then?

OK, I´m saying this as someone who has no interested in going to Disneyland at all-but he´s an adult-and so excited he can´t keep the secret??!!

What a fucking great big twat kid.

Unbelievable.

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 15/10/2012 10:46

And what happens if (God forbid!) something unexpected happens between now and December and you end up not being able to go for some reason? The DCs will be so disappointed. At least with a surprise, if anything stopped you going, they wouldn't know.
(My exH twice told my pfb he was taking him to Disneyland, and twice let him down :( )

alienreflux · 15/10/2012 10:47

Oh what a dick :( he's NOT a kid he's NOT as excited as them, he just wanted to tell them, so he did, knowing you would want to be there, knowing you wanted to wait.
I would be livid, i really would!!!
And he's done them no favours telling them so early or you. Angry

RubyFakeNails · 15/10/2012 10:49

I don't understand why he couldn't wait until you came back.

Doing it just as you were out, am assuming you had been in most of the other 3 days smacks of it being intentionally behind your back.

I would be FURIOUS. Much door slamming and bollocking would have ensued. DH probably would spent a few nights on the sofa for that shit.

I think its unbelievable he can't see whats wrong. I think that would drive me to tears. How cruel of him.

numbum · 15/10/2012 10:54

Leave the bastard at home!!

What a moron

Tuttutitlookslikerain · 15/10/2012 10:55

I would be fuming.

I actually don't think I would be talking to him ATM!

TWAT!Angry (him not you)

2712 · 15/10/2012 10:55

He doesn't get why you are so upset???
Ask him how he would feel if, on xmas day, you left him asleep in bed and opened all the presents with the DCs?
When he woke up and came downstairs would he be upset?
Bet he would!

Cluffyfunt · 15/10/2012 10:55

How utterly selfish!

I feel really disappointed for you.

It can't be undone now but your H really needs to apologise properly.

diddl · 15/10/2012 10:55

Oh yes-take your mum instead!

pictish · 15/10/2012 10:58

You know...I am definitely not one for seeking things to argue or fall out about, regards my dh. I am easy going in rl and rarely stir myself enough to get annoyed about much. I like a peaceful time of it.

However, this scenario would hit all of my buttons. I'd be spitting tacks. Being excited is no excuse whatsoever, and if he thinks it is, then he's got some growing up to do.

At the very least he should've waiting so you could tell them together...so you could share in the joy of the moment too.
The fact that he gave you no consideration and just bashed on in there, is abysmal.

Wasn't even his parents that facilitated it - it was yours. Cheeky bastard taking that one for himself.
Wanker.

Mrsjay · 15/10/2012 11:00

I do think he wanted to be the one to spring the surprise I think he did it on purpose Angry

diddl · 15/10/2012 11:02

Me too Mrsjay

Sounds as if he wants all the glory.

Is he pissed off because it´s only happening with your parents help?

If so-he should

diddl · 15/10/2012 11:03

have declined for himself!

Original poster
stinklebell · 15/10/2012 11:13

Apparently a 20th anniversary advert had been on the TV and DD2 had started up on her regular "I wish I could go there" whinge, so he couldn't keep quiet.

I think it was thoughtless which is wankerish, but not a deliberate attempt to exclude me or upset me.

Much door slamming, and sleeping in the spare room has ensued.

He thinks I should get a grip, what's done is done, etc.

To be fair, he doesn't usually act like such an arsehole and would have usually apologised for something like this by now.

I don't see the point of telling them now either, it's like giving them a beautifully wrapped present and expecting them to look at it every day whilst telling them they can't open it for 2 months

Ask him how he would feel if, on xmas day, you left him asleep in bed and opened all the presents with the DCs?

I will later! I am so fucked off about it

OP posts:
Teeb · 15/10/2012 11:14

I wondered that diddl, if he felt 'emasculated' that her parents were contributing a big chunk of the holiday and was trying to reclaim some of the pride and glory in being the one who got to give them the surprise.

pictish · 15/10/2012 11:15

So his twattery was inspired by an advert? Confused
Jesus he sounds about 7!!

Original poster
stinklebell · 15/10/2012 11:18

I don't think he's bothered about the money.

We talked about it, and he was fine about it.

They've contributed what they'd usually spend on our (me, DH, 2 DCs) presents (although they are quite generous with presents), we've put the rest towards it.

Mum & Dad are visiting my sister in New Zealand this year, so they won't be seeing us over Christmas, so suggested it instead of getting loads of presents to us. DH thought it was a fab idea

OP posts:
snuffaluffagus · 15/10/2012 12:06

aw, I'd be very upset in your shoes. I hope he realises and apologises.

Greavesey · 15/10/2012 12:14

yanbu - he shouldnt have said anything

yabu - he has, theres nowt you can do about it, get a grip.

squoosh · 15/10/2012 12:14

What a cock.

I'd be bloody FURIOUS. Seriously, royally fucked off.

And even more fucked off if he said he didn't understand why I was upset and to 'get a grip'.

Cock.