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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want another sexual partner

74 replies

McHappyPants2012 · 13/10/2012 01:00

hope i get flamed.

i have only had sex with my DH, I feel that i have missed out and I want to have sex with a random because I really have not got a clue.

OP posts:
PinkFairyDust · 13/10/2012 01:03
Biscuit
AgentZigzag · 13/10/2012 01:04

No reason you should get flamed for wondering about what it'd be like with someone else.

Not all it's cracked up to be is probably the truth of the matter.

AgentZigzag · 13/10/2012 01:05

Did I miss something in the OP?

Why the biscuit?

Viperidae · 13/10/2012 01:06

Assuming your life with him is ok and you are not looking because he is a wifebeater, etc YABU

Happiness is not always getting what you want, it is appreciating what you have,

BridgetBidet · 13/10/2012 01:06

Nah, of course you would feel like you've missed out.

As somebody who's been a right slag I would suspect that you probably haven't. Seriously all the others would probably just have been various shades of average. I've right put it about and only one or two of them were super good. And that was in, ahem, rather a large sample.

You're probably not missing out, if you feel like you are just get really filthy with the one you've already got. Even if you did find another bloke and shag him he'd probably have some really filthy habit like chewing his own toenails or watching WWF so if the one you have now doesn't I wouldn't bother.

WorraLiberty · 13/10/2012 01:07

I'm with you on that one OP

I've only had sex with your Husband too

Now my Husband is getting arsey because apparently he wants sex with me as well Shock

The over entitled bastard

Original poster
McHappyPants2012 · 13/10/2012 01:07

keep the Biscuit coming. the more the better.

i can not shake the feeling that I have missed out on something, been out with the girls and sex has been a hot topic.

OP posts:
MummysHappyPills · 13/10/2012 01:10

Have to agree with Bridgetbidet. Most one night stands are big drunken disappointments most of the time. All they are really good for is to make you appreciate the safe, perhaps boring, but at least shameless sex with dp/dh. It is a shame you have not had that right of passage. But now it is up to you whether you are happy to learn from our mistakes or whether you would prefer to go out and make your own...

BridgetBidet · 13/10/2012 01:14

Ew, one night stands. When you get up in the morning and you realise you've just slept with someone who leaves skiddies on the sheets. Yuk.

Original poster
McHappyPants2012 · 13/10/2012 01:15

i love my dh AND I COULD NOT HURT HIM. he has many sexual partners, I just feel like i want to shag someone else, i really don't know how to explain it

OP posts:
Inneedofbrandy · 13/10/2012 01:18

I to have had a great many way to many shags. I have slagged it right up and no it is not all it's cracked up to be. I would love to be in your postion and have a DH and only of been with him.

MummysHappyPills · 13/10/2012 01:19

sorry I meant RITE of passage Blush

BridgetBidet · 13/10/2012 01:20

Yeah, honestly, you're not missing much.

LucieMay · 13/10/2012 01:20

I've shagged my way around and I'd have preferred to have had a constant loving partner instead. Grass ain't greener.

AgentZigzag · 13/10/2012 01:21

If it didn't hurt him would you do it?

Just sounds a little bit like you're asking (him?) for permission to do it.

Does the wanting to get flamed suggest it's something a bit more than you wondering?

tescocarrierbagexplosion · 13/10/2012 01:22

Your not missing much! Honestly!

Original poster
McHappyPants2012 · 13/10/2012 01:27

i don't know, i love my dh ( i would not have married him otherwise) but i am sick and tired of being made out to be a liar or a freak.

OP posts:
MummysHappyPills · 13/10/2012 01:27

That's why I honestly believe it's something you need to "get out of your system" when you are younger. Most people, even men, regret the conquests they had when they are younger, but in a way they are useful to show you that meaningless sex ain't all it's cracked up to be. T'is a learning curve for sure. And I can understand how appealing it is, I sometimes even wonder what it would be like to have sex with someone else. But that fantasy is marred with the reality of wet sheets/the walk of shame etc etc. I am so glad i am past all that.

BridgetBidet · 13/10/2012 01:30

Why would anybody call you a liar or a freak? I don't think it's hugely unusual.

AgentZigzag · 13/10/2012 01:34

Why would you lie about such a thing? And it doesn't make you a freak!

Who's making you feel like a liar/freak?

Original poster
McHappyPants2012 · 13/10/2012 01:36

really don't know why. within friends and this always comes up. it like really 'only your husband' or ' you are not serious'

OP posts:
imperialstateknickers · 13/10/2012 01:36

Who's saying you're a liar or a freak McHappy? If they're 'friends' they can go take a flying fuck.

Bogeyface · 13/10/2012 01:36

If your so called friends are calling you a liar or a freak then they are not very good friends. And it also says alot about them that they want you to be the freak so it validates their slagging it around.

They know that being a slapper is nasty, and when they see you, happy with your one and only, it confirms that.

Forget them. Ignore what they are saying and rethink this in the morning :)

Oh and I say this as someone who had her moments and regretted most of them.

MummysHappyPills · 13/10/2012 01:37

What for being a virgin before you met DH? Yes that is unusual but is purely a sign of the times. It does not make you a liar or a freak, and is actually something to be proud of.

imperialstateknickers · 13/10/2012 01:40

x-posts
McHappy, just because most of us experimented a bit before finding a partner who makes us happy longterm doesn't mean you should.
There's a fair amount of residual guilt in the female population which wishes it hadn't slept around before settling down and I think you're probably picking up a bit of fallout from that.