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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I have been a complete and utter prat

88 replies

mrsrosieb · 10/10/2012 12:35

I run a commercial cleaning company and recently won a new contract. After much pressure from hubby and in-laws I gave the cleaning job to brother in law who I was assured would do a good job.
Day 1 he turned up in bermuda shorts (I made him go change) and then got confused when he was vaccing a corridor as he got half way down and ran out of wire. He had to get me to explain the idea of plugging it in a different socket.
I cannot sack him as he is a relative, but have a bad feeling I will be losing this contract soon.
Worse still he has informed me he is not telling the benefits office even though I have explained I have to send his NI number to HMRC.
I know I have been a total prat!

OP posts:
scentednappyhag · 10/10/2012 12:38

Yes he's family, but you are his boss. He needs to either shape up or get fired. It's your livelihood he'll be ruining, don't let him take the piss.

WorraLiberty · 10/10/2012 12:39

You're being totally unprofessional I'm afraid.

And yes you can sack him.

Doha · 10/10/2012 12:41

You are only a prat if you "allow" him to lose the contract for you.

There is always difficulty when employing family--but when it comes to your business if he is not doing what he is paid to do-get shot.
As egards to the benefits, keep yourself right nad do everything above board. it is his choice not to inform the benefits office-he will get caught sooner or later.
That is NOT your problem.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 10/10/2012 12:41

You have to sack him. Apart from sounding like a total tool, how can you employ him knowing he is still claiming benefits.

Family or no family, get rid before he ends up costing you a fortune.

edam · 10/10/2012 12:42

You need to be very firm on this one. He may be a relative, but you can't allow him to cost you a contract, or risk you being seen to collude with benefits fraud - his irresponsible behaviour could cost you your business.

If you are inclined to give him one last chance, I'd sit him down and give him very clear rules and a time limit. If you aren't happy with his behaviour/performance at the end of a week, then he's out.

mollymole · 10/10/2012 12:46

If he can't do the job to the standard YOU require then sack him, it does not matter who he is, in business this is irrelevant.

Fill the form in (forgotten what number, but it's on the HMRC site) for someone who has not given you a P45 and send it in, if he does not sign it it
can still go in. It is down to your brother - in - law what happens next.

redexpat · 10/10/2012 12:49

I'd certainly be sending his NI number to HMRC. Surely you'll be liable if you don't?

He's the prat here. You're just nice.

Bermuda shorts and vaccing incidents aside, does he do a good job?

Original poster
mrsrosieb · 10/10/2012 12:53

He has only done one day and I want to work with him and train him up for at least a week before I make any decisions.
He is only very young.
I have already sent his NI number online to HMRC and have told him he needs to inform the benefits-but I cannot force him to do this.
I have a feeling he will probably quit in a few days as this job means he has to get out of bed early and he truanted his way through school never showing up.

OP posts:
mrsrosieb · 10/10/2012 14:56

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DIYapprentice · 10/10/2012 14:59

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campocaro · 10/10/2012 15:00

I thought worra's post was perfectly reasonable.

LateDeveloper · 10/10/2012 15:00

I think all you can do is give him a chance by prompting and training but keep your standards high. Either he will shape up or ship out I think. Warn him that as you have let HMRC know he is working he has a high chance of being caught if he doesn't declare his earnings to job centre and consider your duty done on that account.

Maybe just maybe this will be the making of him?

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 10/10/2012 15:01

Hmm Why are you asking in AIBU if you are going to swear at people who tell you you are?

MaryZed · 10/10/2012 15:03

Ah, now, come on Shock

Worra's points were absolutely correct. You are being unprofessional, supplying someone so inexperienced to fulfil a contract you have made, and you can sack him.

What did she say wrong?

PatriciaHolm · 10/10/2012 15:05

But you are being unprofessional! People are paying you to do a proper job, and you aren't! It's not about your relationship with him, it's about the business relationship you have, and that you aren't fulfilling.

FolkGhoul · 10/10/2012 15:06

I don't really understand the anger towards Worra. What she says is true. And everyone else has agreed with her!

Of course you can sack him, family or not. He doesn't feel an increased sense of loyalty to you because you are family, does he?

This is your company, offering a professional service to a company who is paying you for that service. If you have provided someone who is unable to meet the client's requirements, then you are being unprofessional. Particularly if the only reason you won't address this is because he is family!

You, as you know, are legally obliged to pass on his NI and employment info. If he doesn't tell the benefits office that's his problem, not yours, he'll soon get found out when they realise he's paying tax through work and claiming benefits.

You are aware that this is AIBU aren't you? And that some people will think you are...

WorraLiberty · 10/10/2012 15:08

Bugger! I'm so sorry OP.

You should have stated how many posts per day/per poster are acceptable before they can answer your thread.

Anyway yes, to answer your question...you are a complete and utter prat.

Though clearly for different reasons than your OP suggests.

flyoverthegoldenhill · 10/10/2012 15:08

Keep him on. Loose the contract. Who gives a fuck ? Worra was spot on.

MissBetseyTrotwood · 10/10/2012 15:09

Worra is being reasonable. And if she comes on and posts a lot... you're sitting reading it so your criticism of her applies to yourself too! Anyhow...

I'd warn him, explain what will happen if he doesn't inform benefits now he's on record with HMRC. If he doesn't do as you ask (raise his game, let the benefits office know) he'll have to go. I'd raise all this with the ILs too - if you go down because of him then so does your DP.

Vagaceratops · 10/10/2012 15:09

Worra was absolutely right - you might not want to hear it but she is spot on.

LadyBeagleEyes · 10/10/2012 15:10

I don't think Worra said anything different to anybody else really.
But he is young, and family. If he stays and accepts training, then maybe give him a chance. At least you can say you tried.
I'd still declare him as an employee though. His benefits are up to him to declare.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 10/10/2012 15:10

I agree with Worra.

If you are prepared to put your livelihood on the line for someone else then that is up to you, but you are being unprofessional.

You need to sack him and get the job done by someone who is at least in the mindset of working hard and learning, which it doesn't sound like your BIL is.

BearWithBearWith · 10/10/2012 15:11

Well I suppose this is part of what being a boss is about.

You choose to stick with him and you (may) see your business struggle.

You choose to sack him, be professional, and deal with the family fallout (of which there 'should' be none as you have reason to sack him).

I'm not sure why you had to ask what to do on this forum because as a boss I'd expect you to have worked that out yourself.

Sorry if I'm being a little harsh but I don't reckon much of the way you speak to other members as I can see no reason for that kind of vitriol against Worra. What business is it of yours how little or how often someone posts?

diddl · 10/10/2012 15:11

"I cannot sack him as he is a relative,"??!!Confused

It´s that a legal thing then?

EldritchCleavage · 10/10/2012 15:11

I would let him know he is on probation, that you need to keep the contract and won't let him or anyone else mess it up. Them pull him up on everything he does which is not up to scratch. While he's training, can you get someone else to work alongside him?

That way, if you do have to sack him he will have been given every chance and every warning and you will have all the evidence you need to tell the family why it wasn't right for you.

Oh, and if he continues to claim benefits, tell on him, please. Not what we pay our taxes for.