To think she could have offered some money back

[crazedupmom]

Ds aged 11 recently went on a sun holiday with a friend from school and I offered £40 to the mates mother to cover a meal a day although she said she wasn,t too fussed.
Ds also went with £90 pocket money.
It was for a monday to friday stay.
Anyway ds is a bit of a anxious sort long story and it was a question of whether he would settle with them whilst on holiday.
We did end up collecting ds on the tuesday evening and I sort of thought that I would have been offered at least half of my 40 back.
The time they was there from what I can see ds and his mate spent all of their time in the arcade where ds managed to spend £40 of his pocket money ds also tells me that he spent at least half of this on his mate down the arcade as his mom had only given him a couple of pound.
I had told her to just give ds a tenner at a time but she let them both go off with ds carrying £90 in his wallet.
What do you think am I been mean or do I have a point.

your being mean!

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. I've often taken extra children on holiday and I would have given you back £20 or £30 (depending on whether we'd already eaten out on the Tuesday). I would also not have let an 11 year old take £90 to the arcades. I would have given him a tenner and encouraged him to do something more constructive with it as well as spending a couple of quid in the arcades and buying sweets, etc.

Yabvu it was his holiday money to with as he wished. Why shouldn't he spend it with his freind having fun.

Maybe it didn't occur to her?

Nice of them to take your DS on holiday though, don't you think?

mmm its interesting to see your responses as all of my family think that she was wrong and have told me to text her asking if she had some left over.
I had said that maybe it didn,t occur to her but they think she took advantage

Maybe she'd already spent the £40 meal money on shopping to actually buy the meals?

Yabu he still had a spot on the hol.

Teach your ds some economic sense and budgeting

Yabu

Definitely let it go, irritating and all as it is. You will look really cheap and petty otherwise. On the other hand if you don't mind that then by all means mention it!

I would let it go but would have a word with your ds about money. it might fall on deaf ears though!!!
My ds spent 99 euros on a football shirt when he went away with school. I was shocked at first but then it was his money to spend. He budgeted for it and didn't spend money in the airport or on any extra food, as the shirt was his one extravagance.

yanbu.
but for twenty quid i wouldnt get into it. however letting your child go off with £90 when you had given express instruction for it to be safeguarded and handed out at a tenner a time now i would take issue with that

YABU

If you offer money then I'm not sure you can really ask for it back. It's quite nice of them to take him at all really and I don't suppose it enhanced their holiday having a homesick 11 year old who disappeared half way through the week.

Can't imagine why you'd think an 11 year old would need 90 quid spending money. I don't really think it's up to the friend's mum to police how they spent it tbh.

I can see your point, but I suspect that she will have thought that if you could afford and thought it appropriate to give your DS £90 spending money for 4-5 days, that you wouldn't be worried about £20.

She was doing you a favour taking your DS. Their holiday will have been disrupted by his leaving early - their DS will presumably have been disappointed.

Unless you are really hard up and desperate for the cash, I wouldn't even mention it. I suspect you might be stressed because of the needing to fetch your DS back early after all, and your family sound like they're stirring unhelpfully.

£40 to cover food for five days isn't much - am I missing something?

I would be annoyed that she didn't dole out the money £10 at a time - did you say to her he could spend all of his pocket money? were you expecting him to? If not why give it tio him?

I've just come back from three days in a caravan and can well see how £90 would go in an evening in the arcade

aargh sorry just realised he came home on Tuesday! - I would have expected an offer of something back but would probably leave it tbh

£90 spending money for an 11-year-old for a 5-day holiday?
YAB massively U to think she should have to police how your DS spent that when you could have avoided the problem by not giving him such a ridiculous amount of money in the first place.
As for the food money - she was kind enough to take him on holiday so IMO it would be rather petty to ask for the change.

It would be petty: their holiday has been disrupted.

Why on earth did he need £90 pocket money, and why should the other mother have had to police it?

YANBU, the other mother was the responsible adult in charge of the OPs child. No way would I have let him have all that money to spend in one go. What if the poor little chap had been mugged or conned out of it or talked into spending some on his mate by his mate? And I would definitely give you back the food money .

HerRoyalNotness
I'm with you on this one. I feed a family of 4 on £50 for a whole week so I would not have accepted £40 towards food for 4 days. If the parents had insisted then I would have kept it to put towards meals out, treats, etc for the extra child but I would have given back any that wasn't spent.

I wouldn't ask for any of it back OP but it should have been offered.

kotinka i might be being dense but how does that open a can of worms?