My cats won't starve, just this once...

[PrincessTeacake]

I'm just a few minutes in the door from work, my boss got home late due to the weather and offered to drive me home to save me from a long walk in the rain. I took my meds as soon as I got in and went to feed the cats, only to discover that I have no cat food. I was going to pick some up on the way home but completely forgot. I was sure I had two packets left for them both but it turns out I was wrong.

The nearest shop to me is a Tesco about 20 minutes away by bike. I'm crap on the bike on a good day, I think if I was to hop on it now in the torrential rain with my meds about to kick in and knock me out, I'll go headfirst into the canal
and the cats will eat each other while they're searching for my corpse. i don't really have any other options, I don't eat meat or fish and I'm out of the fake meat so I can't fob them off with that. I couldn't even feed myself right now if I wanted to.

Am I a terrible person? They're both really fat.

Of course they won't starve, but they'll tell you they are! Got a neighbour with a can or two of tuna?

It's supposed to be good for them to go 24 hours without food every now and again (something to do with their lion roots?) and if they've got the shits you don't give them food for 24 hours.

They won't fade away before your very eyes, although they'll probably act as though they're going to

I'd ask a neighbour for some cat food or tuna, failing that, you could try them with a mashed up boiled egg, mine like it (although we found this out by accident :o

Mine quite like mushroom sauteed in butter, but they're a bit odd. Scrambled eggs?

They'll survive and, if they are anything like my cat, they can go out and catch there own supper if they are that hungry.

Oh blimey you will pay! Seriously, our cat has lived without many times. After the initial whining she forgets about it. Mind you, she wants food more for the habit of being given.

Do you have a drop of milk - just a wee bit for distraction. Tuna is kitty caviar. I read somewhere that some cats like scrambled egg . . .

My cats love porridge

Discovered when ds2 didn't want to eat his and hid it in the cat bowl.

The lions in the zoo have at least one day off from food a week. Jus tell your moggies to 'cat man up'!

grated cheese, creamy mashed potato, also agree egg is good.
I'd have to give them something, couldn't stand the crying or the reproachful stares

Thanks for the suggestions, I do have some porridge and I'm not too dopey, I'll give it a try. Asking the neighbours is a no-no, the nice gentleman on one side is away for the week, the guy on the other side is a violent headcase and the only other neighbour I know is a guy who I suspect burgled my house. I don't have any eggs or cheese (not a vegan, just a long time since last big shop) and young cat is finicky, old cat has kitty dementia and doesn't remember eating most nights.

My friend gave his cat tinned sweetcorn once when he'd run out of cat food. The cat was disgusted.

It sounds like a plan but if it's anything like my boys you won't get a wink of sleep as they'll be all Simons Cat on your ass.

My Hufflepuff woke me at 3 am the other night for food.

Have you got rice, eggs and something to make instant gravy? Boil up a little rice, mash in a hard boiled egg and mix it up with some gravy. Let the gravy cool and voila! Cat food substitute.

Could you give them some milk?

Milk is bad for cats. They are lactose intolerant

Perhaps don't give them any then, just thought it would do as a stop-gap though, protein and that.

Decide which cat you love the most - cook the other one and feed it to it

or just boil up some rice and if they are THAT hungry they will eat it, which i suspect they wont. Could they not just go and hunt their own food? scrounge some from the mad cat lady down the road

Okay, I tried the porridge, old cat has wolfed it down, young cat has turned up her nose at it so old cat is getting double portions. Thanks for the suggestion, I had been about to order a chinese with chicken out of desperation. I haven't even had my own dinner!

@ giving cats sweetcorn, mine would have left home

Tantrums, your ds sounds great, I spent a whole childhood being a fussy eater and passing liver, kidneys and other such grim stuff to the cats, but never occurred to me to hide my porridge in the cat's bowl.

OP, good luck... I suspect you may be in for a very disturbed night!

He hides all sorts in the cats bowl. He did try it with the dog but he is a bit fussier :)

Your house is full of eccentrics, then - dogs are usually far less fussy than cats. Has no-one told your dog that he's supposed to be a scavenger, and your cat that he's supposed to be a true carnivore?

(Mind you, I say that, yet I appear to have acquired a cat who loves pizza, pasta, cereal, toast...)

My dog is amazingly fussy, the cat will eat just about anything, weird isn't it?