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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be pissed off that people keep telling me what I can and can't eat?

94 replies

FluffyJawsOfDoom · 03/05/2012 09:33

I'm 18 weeks pregnant. Since "coming out" at 13 weeks, I've had "you can't eat peanuts!" (err, yes I can), "OMG you can't eat cheesecake, it's got cream cheese in it!" (WTAF? It's pasteurised AND I baked it!) and "you should steer clear of shellfish you know" (WHY???)

I am an intelligent person; I have researched what I should and shouldn't eat in pregnancy. AIBU to be severely narked that people suddenly assume I'm an idiot feel they can dictate to me what I can and can't eat especially considering they're WRONG ? And AIBU to be Angry at myself because I'm too stunned at their audacity polite to tell them where to go? Blush

OP posts:
ToriaPumpkin · 03/05/2012 09:39

Cream cheese is fine. Peanuts are fine. I didn't do shellfish but then I never do shellfish, but as long as they're cooked, they're fine.

When I was pregnant I was away with some friends and there was another pregnant woman there. She pointed out I shouldn't be eating the brie I was about to tuck into. As she poured herself a glass of wine...

AntsMarching · 03/05/2012 09:43

YANBU. I had a friend take a snickers bar off me and tell me I couldn't have peanuts. I took it back and ate it in front of her. Then she said, "I just decided to be selfish and not eat nuts whilst pregnant so that my children won't have allergies.". Ummm...did you just call me selfish in a very passive aggressive way???

Pseudo341 · 03/05/2012 09:45

YABU, your body is now public property, didn't you know about that part? You will also get open tutting if you dare to have a glass of wine. On a hen do when I was pregnant there was another pregnant woman who went on about how she was being responsible and not risking harming her baby so wouldn't use the jacuzzi or sauna that I was using (I'd sought medical advice first and suggest you do the same if you want to do either of those things, I have a disability for which they are beneficial), and having done looking down her nose at me she went off for a fag.

Original poster
FluffyJawsOfDoom · 03/05/2012 10:02

Shock ants!

OP posts:
Ciske · 03/05/2012 10:06

It gets worse. Soon people will start telling you what you can and cannot carry, how far you should be travelling and by what means, and when you're allowed to get up from the couch. All with the best of intentions as well, so you can't even get annoyed about it.

WorraLiberty · 03/05/2012 10:07

Smile and nod...assuming they mean well (because most people do)

You've got a very long pregnancy ahead if you're going to get narked about this now Grin

Anyway, wait til the baby's born and you're getting unwanted 'advice' about feeding, sleeping, changing, prams, nappies....just about every fucking thing really!

Oh and congratulations Grin

valiumredhead · 03/05/2012 10:08

Are peanuts fine now? - they weren't when I was pregnant! One of the first things they asked me at the allergy clinic was if I had eaten nuts when pregnant when we got ds tested.

Just smile and nod though...

HazleNutt · 03/05/2012 10:11

yes it's fine to eat peanuts.
www.food.gov.uk/safereating/allergyintol/peanutspregnancy

edwardcullensotherwoman · 03/05/2012 10:13

I know the feeling! I'm 32 weeks now, haven't had any direct comments but lots of PA ones, from pg friend!
So far I've had "Oh I'm really missing alcohol, I'm so gutted I can't have a glass of wine/lager/champagne" - I've had the odd glass of cider/wine when I fancy it.
"I really wish I could have icecream from " No-one comes between me and my local icecream Grin
"I can't wait to have a McChicken sandwich, I'm fed up with only having nuggets when we go to McDs" funniest thing about this statement was that in the next breath she said she was having some delicious coleslaw from the butchers' for tea!

Oh and when pg 4.5 years ago, I was at a NYE party and asked my friend for a white wine when drinks were offered. I had a stern look, and was informed "I have some soda water, I'll make you a nice spritzer" I didn't want a spritzer dammit, I wanted wine!

Mobly · 03/05/2012 10:15

Yes it is a little annoying... especially when people clearly don't know what they are talking about. But I think it's actually worse when the baby is here... you'll get endless unwanted advice and opinions.

I'm 20wks pregnant and often carry DS2 who is 2 when we pick up DS1 from pre-school. It's quite a big hill and he often dawdles so sometimes easier just to pick him up. I feel fine doing this, but have been told at least 3 times that I shouldn't be carrying him, is there any actual evidence of any risks in doing so? Surely pregnant mums of young children have no choice sometimes?

Mobly · 03/05/2012 10:16

Edwardcullensotherwoman.... what's wrong with a McChicken sandwich or coleslaw?

mythical · 03/05/2012 10:19

Try having a foreign mother that comes with 10000 more pregnant woman superstitions... (in a funnier way though) such as ...
I am not allowed to look at ugly people (yes, it's an old wives tale where I come from?? Wtf?)
I am not allowed to touch animals
I am not allowed to steal anything because the baby will have a birthmark shaped like the object I've stolen..
And more! :o

Original poster
FluffyJawsOfDoom · 03/05/2012 10:23

Cheers Worra - the baby "advice" has started already Shock

Mobly I think probably the mayonnaise - you shouldn't eat it when it's made with unpasteurised eggs iirc, though all shop-bought (and McDonalds) is fine :)

OP posts:
Stinkyminkymoo · 03/05/2012 10:24

It's fun isn't it! I've had it all as well. Coupled with the fact I am shock horror still riding and that makes me Worst Pregnant Woman Ever. Grin

I'm pregnant, not ill and if it is pasteurised, I'm eating it. I don't really eat shellfish anyway, but I would if I did. Nom.

Original poster
FluffyJawsOfDoom · 03/05/2012 10:24

rotfl mythical I'm tempted to go and nick something with a bizarre shape now......

OP posts:
worldgonecrazy · 03/05/2012 10:25

You're pregnant. That means you're now public property.

It's annoying, but I suspect has an evolutionary background, afterall pregnant women were responsible for carrying on the tribe, and therefore it was very important for everyone to be concerned about the welfare of mother and baby.

Just get used to nodding a lot and smiling, or try returning the patronising comments and start explaining in simple words of one syllable why the person's thinking is outdated.

DrSeuss · 03/05/2012 10:32

Get used to it pet. Wait till the baby arrives and they lecture you endlessly with conflicting advice that they are all convinced is the only way to bring a baby up.

minimisschief · 03/05/2012 10:33

they are only saying these things because at somepoint or another some of the things you mentioned were no nos.

CailinDana · 03/05/2012 10:40

I got very screamy worked up when a friend of mine refused to give me a tiny glass of wine at a party. He regretted that one!

SofaKing · 03/05/2012 10:45

I had a work colleague burst into tears when I was PG because I didn't have a car and I would never manage a baby without a car Confused.
I now have 3 kids and still no car so its clearly not essential for everyone. She also said I should get rids of my two cats because they would endanger my baby. I am sure if the cats could speak they would ask me to get rid of the kids as they consider them dangerous and avoid them at all costs!

Just look at your advisors pityingly and tell them the medical advice has changed so no one avoids eating x anymore as it has been proven to be safe. That will shut them up!

Original poster
FluffyJawsOfDoom · 03/05/2012 10:51

Omg SofaKing we've had that one as well - apparently cats smother babies, donchaknow, and we should rehome them asap Hmm We just laughed and said "don't be so silly" :o

OP posts:
WhataMistakeaToMakea · 03/05/2012 10:56

It's just something that happens to every pregnant woman.... and that a lot of people then end up doing to the next one even though they found it annoying!
My friend is pg at the moment. She rings me to ask me all sorts of questions all the time about the slightest thing, but when I answer with advice she moans that she will do what she wants and sod what is recommended.

Needless to say I have now stopped answering her questions and just tell her to do what she feels is right.....(I still silently sit there seething though when she does certain things which may not be terrible, but are not recommended and imho are not really worth the risk seeing as it's a only a couple of months sacrifice to stop doing them in the grand scheme of things)

marshmallowpies · 03/05/2012 11:01

I avoided peanuts because the allergy does run in my family...but kept eating other nuts. As peanuts aren't actually a nut why does it get classed as a nut allergy anyway?

I had my glass of wine every week or so & thoroughly made the most of it! Plus went to 3 weddings during my pregnancy, Xmas & my dad's 70th, so how could I turn down champagne?

bigjoeent · 03/05/2012 11:20

I hated the advice about cooking steak right through, I know its official but I find it tasteless when its cooked through. I did ignore the advice, I've never been ill from eating steak pg or not (and I'd bet they don't give that advice in France - does anyone know if they do or not?)

Congratulations.

Oh yes and I kept painting the rooms when 8 months pg with twins. I was pregnant not ill.

cakes82 · 03/05/2012 11:28

I'm 18weeks pg. My mum is concerned about our cat, but having seen her with a friends 2 year old we don't have to worry about deliberate harm just whether our female cat tries to mother our baby. My mum also told me I should try eat nuts in order to prevent allergy in my child!! Nice idea but I can't stand nuts other than marzipan. I've also had a couple of alcoholic drinks but apart from very early in pg I waited until second trimester as per advice I've seen.

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