AIBU to be pissed off that people keep telling me what I can and can't eat?

[FluffyJawsOfDoom]

I'm 18 weeks pregnant. Since "coming out" at 13 weeks, I've had "you can't eat peanuts!" (err, yes I can), "OMG you can't eat cheesecake, it's got cream cheese in it!" (WTAF? It's pasteurised AND I baked it!) and "you should steer clear of shellfish you know" (WHY???)

I am an intelligent person; I have researched what I should and shouldn't eat in pregnancy. AIBU to be severely narked that people suddenly assume I'm an idiot feel they can dictate to me what I can and can't eat especially considering they're WRONG ? And AIBU to be at myself because I'm too stunned at their audacity polite to tell them where to go?

Ah pregnancy advice. I think I ignored every single piece that was given to me. I ate shellfish (once I'd gotten over 12 weeks of excessive vomiting), drank coffee, enjoyed a bottle of beer every Friday, ate all cheeses and enjoyed my steak medium. The only thing I didn't eat were peanuts and that's because I'm allergic to them and I didn't drink wine because it made me fall asleep instantly! Don't get me wrong, I didn't eat food from dodgy sources, but considering we live on a small island in the Caribbean and everything is flown in from the US, I figured I'd be ok.

I did come across one barista in a coffeehouse who asked me if I was "allowed" to have caffeine when I ordered a latte (said with disdain). I told him that I was "allowed" to do whatever I wanted as I was an adult.

I think I must have had "fuck off" stamped across my forehead though because nobody so much as said boo to me. No stranger ever tried to touch my bump either which was lucky.

The best advice comes after the baby is born, when EVERYONE is a paediatrican. I live in the tropics and when DS was born in September it was about 35oc - a few weeks after he was born a man approached me, asked me how old my son was and then proceeded to lecture me that he was cold because I didn't have socks on him. I smiled, and asked how long he had been a paediatrician. He said "I have two children so I know". I told him to bugger off.

I also had strange men ask me if I was nursing. Standard response was "none of your fucking business". I find aggression works very well :-) People here are surprised if you bring the baby out of the house before they're 2 months old so there were no doubt a few heart attacks when we brought DS to happy hour when he was a week old. He's now 7 months and doesn't seem any worse off considering his mother is a drunken harpy who refused to put socks on him.

OP, the best way to approach it is to think up some standard witty responses to other peoples' attitudes, that way its a lot more fun standing up for yourself. It also helps maintain your confidence in yourself. Don't let anyone else judge you or make you feel bad about your choices. You want to eat brie, medium steak you go right on ahead as long as you're informed.

Enjoy your pregnancy!

I was in a naice wine bar at 41 weeks (of my bloody long gestation) and asked for a glass of wine. It was my birthday and I reckoned DD was all grown by then and just didn't want to come out. The man who served me had a pretty obvious whispered conversation with the manager, who laughed and loudly told him to serve me. He is a father of two!

Yanbu. It's incredibly fucking irritating the way you become public property during pregnancy, expected to tolerate being treated like a fuckwit. I must admit that none of the diet stuff has affected me, as I never ate any of the things we're advised to avoid anyway, but the public property thing is still a pain in the arse. And dirty looks at being anywhere anyone thinks a pregnant woman shouldn't be.

Didn't you get the memo: your brain falls out of your ears when you become just an incubator fall pg!

My twat of a friend advised that it is unsafe to iron or have a bath whilst pregnant. It's probably ill advised to try to combine the two, but honestly !

Wish I'd known that, I love showers and hate ironing. Would have loved an excuse not to do it!

Do you know, it only just occurred to me reading this thread that I ate a brie and grape sandwich yesterday at the work buffet. am 32wks pg.

and you know what? it was bloody tasty!

BeautifulBlondePineapple that was a very illuminating article you posted. I am in the mood to exercise some common sense on this matter and lie on the sofa stuffing myself with huge chunks of Brie

I'm currently regretting not eating peanuts when pregnant with dd. She is now 6 and has just been diagnosed with peanut allergy :(
I ate peanut butter with ds and he is fine

I will never know for sure but deep down I feel I should have ignored gov advise on that score. Being very allergic myself I think the things we are exposed too young prevent allergies In my case brought up with cats and absolutely fine but I'm highly allergic to dogs. Never having a dog or a relative with a dog growing up.

I'm 7 (or is it 8?) weeks now and peanut butter on ritz biscuits is about all I can keep down for much of the day. Same with DS 2 years ago. Peanut butter was my saving protein when I couldn't face the smell of meat. That and scrambled eggs was almost all the protein I ate for 3 months!

DS loves peanut butter, was practically weaned on (my!) peanut butter on toast.

In fairness, there's no history of any food allergies at all in my family, nor DH's - if there was I might have been more circumspect about introducing it to DS's food. I doubt anything would have stopped me eating it while pregnant, though!

At the moment I am craving smoked salmon with lemon (why?!) and pretty much any smoked deli meats. Which are high in nitrites and definitely not the best way to get your protein. But tasty and don't need to be cooked. I'll drink a little glass of something nice after 5 or 6 months, I should think, and as this baby is due around Christmas if he or she is late, I'll be getting lashed enjoying Christmas day :)

(bigjoeent yes the French are very active on giving food advice for pregnant women which includes no unpasteurised anything (cheese, butter), no nuts, no open cheeses/meats/etc, very well cooked meat (about the only time anyone in France will cook your steak!), no salami/foie gras etc. Everyone working at restaurants knows this advise and will point out problematic items on the menu when they serve you (assuming the pregnancy is evident by that stage that is!)).

Because people thought it might! It wasn't just a random stupid guess, funnily enough, there were good scientific hypotheses behind that idea.

We all have to do the best we can with the current scientific opinion, and yes that changes at times, but it doesn't make all past advice suddenly stupid. The best advice of any particular era is just that, the best advice available at that particular time - that's all any of us have to work with.

That was to Euphemia and her sneering comment about peanuts in pg possibly being thought to cause allergies in children.

Have not read all so sorry if already said, I am a huge Brie fan well most now in uk appears to be made with pasteurised milk. Most of big supermarkets sell it yippee

(and I'd bet they don't give that advice in France - does anyone know if they do or not?)

No idea - but I do know they recomend a glass of wine a day.

You can ignore them you know - just nod and smile.

I choose to avoid what I think has potential dangers - and ignore everyone else. :)

I'm also pregnant and hadn't heard anything about the dangers of ice-cream- what is the reasoning behind avoiding it?

Peanuts are absolutely fine. Not giving peanuts to young children is also a myth, giving them as young as possible (within context of normal eating age) actually prevents allergy. Cheese fine. Don't know about shellfish as am veggie so never eat!

I found a patronising smile and 'that's not what the Food Standards Agency says' worked well. And for booze, quoting papers confirming there is no evidence to support avoiding all alcohol.

Mastering the Look of Doom That makes clear you are not to be messed with is a vital parenting skill, first for interfering adults, then for your two year old...

Booboo, thanks, I'm really suprised that they are that strict for want of a better word.

"And dirty looks at being anywhere anyone thinks a pregnant woman shouldn't be."

Where should we not be?! :o

"Because people thought it might! It wasn't just a random stupid guess, funnily enough, there were good scientific hypotheses behind that idea."

"thinking it might" isn't a good enough reason to advise pregnant women to avoid nutritious food.

The peanut advice was stupid, as is a lot of other advice on what to avoid. It comes from the same idiotic "precautionary principle" that treats pregnant woman as half-witted walking incubators.

ice cream can be a source of food poisoning bugs as well, Aworryingtrend.

" DANGERS TO PREGNANCY
The potential danger of soft serve ice cream comes from the possibility of contracting the bacteria listeria, which can live in the machines that hold and serve the ice cream. "

All food can be a source of food poisoning bugs :o

Things I gave because of being pregnant:
1 smoking
2 getting drunk

Things I continued to try to avoid when pregnant:
1 getting food poisoning
2 falling off things (like my bike)

I somehow turned even clumsier when I became pregnant.. :o

Yes all food may potentially harbour food poisoning, but normally we'd be able to fight it off. Bacteria such as listeria is particularly bad when pregnant as you are much more susceptible to it. So advice on soft cheese and washing salad etc is because of this, normally you wouldn't be affected but when you're pregnant there a higher chance you will be. It's up to you what you do with the advice.