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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Am I being Unreasonable

58 replies

clairec1 · 18/04/2012 18:32

Long long long story short

Had an interview under caution for IS and Hb claim
They wanted to know where my partner lives and i told them exactly what i know, he lives here there and everywhere i.e with friends and family


Was requested for a 2nd interview
They are now saying if my partner does not go in for an interview and prove where he is staying they are stopping my benefits please keep in mind HE DOES NOT LIVE WITH ME, .....DOES NOT CLAIM ANY BENEFITS AND WORKS! They dont believe that he doesnt live with me but have given me no reason as to why they think this!!!! I have never had a reason to doubt that he was staying at a mates but he does get his bank statement sent here as he needs a trustworthy address for it to be sent i did think that this would be a reason to think he lives with me when it is just generally for a trusted address

Im petrified that they will stop my money and i will lose my home and my belongings all because he cant prove he lives with anyone or anywhere the only letter he ever recieves is his bank statement which as i stated comes to my home i have 2 sons already and a daughter due in 12 weeks this is stressing me out so much im having chronic migranes

OP posts:

DPrince · 18/04/2012 18:35

Ok you don't know where your oh lives but he get post sent to your house? You really can't see why they think he lives there. If there is no issue why won't he be interviewed to save you this hassle?

storminabuttercup · 18/04/2012 18:38

I'm very confused. How long have you been with your partner? I assume it's fairly new? I would ask him to stop getting mail sent there if he won't go to the police and vouch for you

Kayano · 18/04/2012 18:38

Get him to go to the interview then...?

WorraLiberty · 18/04/2012 18:38

I sincerely doubt they'd even know his bank statements are sent to your house.

It's more probable that you've been under surveillance, if they're this serious.

Iactuallydothinkso · 18/04/2012 18:40

Is the baby you are expecting his?

Seriously? Even I think he lives with you!

Nancy66 · 18/04/2012 18:42

he has a full-time job but nowhere to live?

DPrince · 18/04/2012 18:44

Actually they check if post is being sent, but its usually a follow up after someone has been reported and has been under surveillance. I would imagine someone knows he lives there and has reported you. Tbh you story is very weak.

WorraLiberty · 18/04/2012 18:45

Anyway, there'll be no problem when he goes to the interview and proves where he lives will there?

WorraLiberty · 18/04/2012 18:46

DPrince how can they check?

Royal Mail wouldn't part with any info without a court order.

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 18/04/2012 18:46

Are your children his children? Yet he chooses to sleep on friends floors rather than with his family? Why are you with this man? (or why are you not living together?)

Bambino81 · 18/04/2012 18:47

Just get him to go to the interview then? i dont see what the problem is? unless you're lying.

fivegomadindorset · 18/04/2012 18:47

Yes.

DPrince · 18/04/2012 18:51

Post can be under surveillance by the police, however due to it being her majesty mail they can't touch it without a court order. But they can be shown it. There was documentary on it the other night (relating to the 'tesco bomber') they could be shown the post coming out of the mailbox write down where it was going but not touch it and the same when it was sorted. They watched the post getting ready to be delivered.

bejeezus · 18/04/2012 18:52

Tax credit people usually ask for a years worth of bank statements to support single person claim

kelly2525 · 18/04/2012 18:52

He doesn't tell you where he lives but gets his bank statemes sent to you?

He's either married or living with his parents, either way he sounds like someone with something to hide and you sound naive.

realhousewifeofdevoncounty · 18/04/2012 18:53

Sorry, but I don't buy it either and I don't suppose they will.

Nancy66 · 18/04/2012 18:54

OP is 6 month's pregnant - i assume he's the father ?

DPrince · 18/04/2012 18:55

Sorry that's based on me assuming benefit fraud is criminal offence which I think it is.

WorraLiberty · 18/04/2012 18:57

Ahh that makes sense DPrince

LydiaWickham · 18/04/2012 18:58

Well, tell him to get his post sent to where he lives, if the truth is "I'm homeless" then as his partner, do you want to look at helping him with that? Is he registered to vote anywhere? Does he drive? What address is on his driving liecence?

LydiaWickham · 18/04/2012 19:01

oh, as he works, he'll have given his payroll department an address, they should provide payslips with that address, he might need to provide these too.

DPrince · 18/04/2012 19:02

Tbh worra I didn't know until I saw it the other week. I mentioned it to my dad (he has just retired from police) he said they can but usually have a good reason. That's why I think someone the OP knows has reported her. I thought the post was more secret than that, don't know why. :)

WorraLiberty · 18/04/2012 19:07

I agree, I think she's probably been reported.

Having had a look at the OP's other benefit thread, she's had a fair bit of advice already.

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 18/04/2012 19:08

Well if even you don't know where he lives, you can surely understand why the benefits people are a bit suspicious

DPrince · 18/04/2012 19:10

I don't know how to do that.

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