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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being Unreasonable

58 replies

clairec1 · 18/04/2012 18:32

Long long long story short

Had an interview under caution for IS and Hb claim
They wanted to know where my partner lives and i told them exactly what i know, he lives here there and everywhere i.e with friends and family


Was requested for a 2nd interview
They are now saying if my partner does not go in for an interview and prove where he is staying they are stopping my benefits please keep in mind HE DOES NOT LIVE WITH ME, .....DOES NOT CLAIM ANY BENEFITS AND WORKS! They dont believe that he doesnt live with me but have given me no reason as to why they think this!!!! I have never had a reason to doubt that he was staying at a mates but he does get his bank statement sent here as he needs a trustworthy address for it to be sent i did think that this would be a reason to think he lives with me when it is just generally for a trusted address

Im petrified that they will stop my money and i will lose my home and my belongings all because he cant prove he lives with anyone or anywhere the only letter he ever recieves is his bank statement which as i stated comes to my home i have 2 sons already and a daughter due in 12 weeks this is stressing me out so much im having chronic migranes
OP posts:
nailak · 18/04/2012 19:11

go the cab and get legal advice. some people with different lifestyles find it hard to believe there are people around with no fixed address. get statements from his friends to say he has stayed here x amount of times etc.

DPrince · 18/04/2012 19:13

Damn blackberry won't let me type M N together it converts its to minute.

LesAnimaux · 18/04/2012 19:15

Well, then, if he's the father of the baby you are pg with he needs to move in and pay his way. You can then claim any benefits as a family. Otherwise tell him to piss off with his bank statements. Doing him the favour of an occasional place to stay and have his bills sent has done you no favours, has it!

TandB · 18/04/2012 19:17

This is very simple, OP. He goes to the interview and gives them as much information as possible to support your assertion that he doesn't live with you.

The post thing will take a lot of explaining, particularly if it is the only "official" record of an address for him. The police don't interview for benefit fraud, the LA or DWP do, and there are all sorts of ways that they can obtain information. Someone has probably seen him at your address and reported you - they investigate, interview and then investigate further. If the investigation doesn't satisfy them they will probably summons you to court so your DP needs to pull his finger out because your story doesn't currently sound like it is going to make them back off.

I am a criminal lawyer by the way.

Kayano · 18/04/2012 19:18

Yes I see on her other thread she was told on the first page to not let him have mail sent to the house.

Seemed that op was more concerned with getting the most benefits she could rather than have a stable relationship with the father of her last 2 children

Biscuit

GO TO THE INTERVIEW and get him to go.
I think it looks fishy and you have been reported. Fgs no wonder they are investigating!
If you get your money stopped I'm sorry but it is kinda your own fault

Kayano · 18/04/2012 19:19

He is also the father of another of ops children btw

MissVforVendetta · 18/04/2012 19:20

I'm sorry, OP, but it doesn't look good, does it?

marriedinwhite · 18/04/2012 19:20

Where's the OP gone?

How can he be her partner, yet not live with her. Is he the father of the children - if he lives elsewhere the statements need to be sent elsewhere.

The OP can't have her cake and eat - not out of my taxes anyway. If this is real he needs to move in and cough up instead of the state. If this isn't for real the OP needs to feel a pointed toe cap in part of her posterior.

TandB · 18/04/2012 19:22

A second child by the same allegedly non-resident father is going to ring alarm bells with the investigators. They will be like a dog with a bone over this, OP. Get him to the interiew.

ABatInBunkFive · 18/04/2012 19:24

Kayano what has that got to do with anything? Confused

OP why would he not go to the interview?

Why doesn't he live with you?

ABatInBunkFive · 18/04/2012 19:25

Kayano - Ignore that i was misreading. sorry Grin

Kayano · 18/04/2012 19:25

Unless he does live there and op has been claiming she is single without him knowing....

Op hasn't said if he has refused
To go or if she has even told him they want to interview him.

All very suspect

TandB · 18/04/2012 19:26

Bat - it is hugely relevant as it is one of the things they will look at when trying to establish if the OP is being truthful about him not living there, ie an ongoing relationship and children of that relationship. It's not proof of residence obviously but it will be part of the picture.

TandB · 18/04/2012 19:27

x-posted!

verytellytubby · 18/04/2012 19:28

I never usually comment on threads like these but I can completely understand why you are being investigated.

You have one child already, pregnant again with your partner who works and would rather sleep at friends. He gets his post sent to you. No shit Sherlock you are being investigated for fraud.

Kayano · 18/04/2012 19:30

ABat my mind just exploded

DPrince · 18/04/2012 19:34

Hang on - this is her third child by the same man and she doesn't know where he lives at all, no idea?

EnjoyResponsibly · 18/04/2012 19:34

OP you do realise that just posting on MN doesnt give you immunity from prosection right?

The father of at least one of your kids works but doesn't live with you, preferring to doss on floors.

Either a) you are Top Mug 2012 b) one or more of you are scamming

I think your only question should be why you haven't been shopped sooner.

diabolo · 18/04/2012 19:39

In her post on the other thread (November 11) the OP says that her partner doesn't work and lives with his parents.

That's not what she is saying on this thread.

I know things can change in a few months but it makes me Hmm.

hippoCritt · 18/04/2012 19:40

They can access bank details, application forms for credit agreements etc, if the date at your address is a date when he isn't meant to believing there they have reason to be suspicious.

EmptyCrispPackets · 18/04/2012 19:47

How can you check a posters older posts?

curiositykitten · 18/04/2012 19:47

diabolo She also said on the other thread she had 4 children and pregnant with number 5. Here she claims she has 2 already.

Not surprised she's being investigated for fibs, really.

WorraLiberty · 18/04/2012 19:48

They can't access bank details without a court order hippo and unless they have extremely strong evidence, I can't see a judge granting one.

I still think she's been reported and has been under surveillance.

WorraLiberty · 18/04/2012 19:49

From the other thread and this one...I get that he's the father of the youngest two (one of which she was still pregnant with last November)

But I could be confused Grin

diabolo · 18/04/2012 19:54

Empty do an advanced search. (Top right of screen)

Enter details.

Hey presto.