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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

or is ds's teacher?

71 replies

MollieO · 30/09/2011 22:09

Ds is yr 3. Has played piano at school since Reception. Every week someone collects him from his class for his piano lesson.

This week he started the cornet. First lesson today. I dropped him off, reminded him of the lesson time and told his teacher.

I get a call lunch time from school to say they are sorry but ds missed his cornet lesson as music teacher away and cornet teacher didn't know ds was due to start.

Saw teacher at pick up and asked why ds had missed his lesson if she and he both knew the time. She said that he was supposed to go to the lesson himself and should have asked at 10 to be excused from class from his lesson. She blamed him for missing his lesson even though no-one had told him he wouldn't be collected from his class and that he needed to tell the teacher (who already knew he was supposed to have a lesson).

AIBU to think that the teacher should have told him that unlike piano lessons he would not be collected from the classroom?

She said he is in yr 3 so should work it out for himself. I agree for subsequent weeks but if it is different from normal practice how was he to know if no-one told him? Confused

OP posts:
worraliberty · 30/09/2011 22:11

Yeah teacher should have told him

Still, he'll know next time

hocuspontas · 30/09/2011 22:13

How come the cornet teacher didn't know he was coming?

soverylucky · 30/09/2011 22:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

exoticfruits · 30/09/2011 22:13

I agree with worraliberty.

OchAyeTheNooPal · 30/09/2011 22:13

why didn't your DS just remind the teacher though because he knew what time his lesson was?

CailinDana · 30/09/2011 22:14

Yes of course the teacher should remember every minute detail of all 30 kids' days, because they're not doing anything else are they.

DownbytheRiverside · 30/09/2011 22:15

Teacher should have told him, I use post-its to remind me of that sort of thing. Is he sharing a lesson with someone else who could collect him?
Teacher probably finds it a PITA to have children continuously missing bits of her lesson and is being stubborn.

DownbytheRiverside · 30/09/2011 22:16

he's Y3, just out of the infants. Poor little blighter!

FontSnob · 30/09/2011 22:17

I should imagine that if your ds isn't the only one with a music lesson in her class then it would be quite difficult to keep track of them all whilst teaching the class as the same time. Usually when teaching time becomes a blur, you know how much you have to get through in a certain time, but you don't clock watch.

cazboldy · 30/09/2011 22:18

well if she had no intention of telling him then she should have made that clear to you when you spoke to her.

HuwEdwards · 30/09/2011 22:19

"Teacher probably finds it a PITA to have children continuously missing bits of her lesson and is being stubborn."

Think that's a bit off, to suggest a teacher would not even attempt to remember a child's music lesson.

I have scheduled calls throughout the day, I occasionally forget when I'm immersed in something. That's life.

Uglymush · 30/09/2011 22:19

Come on guys he is yr3 c. 7/8years of age. Probably got a new teacher this term - 3 weeks in to it max. This is a change to his usual routine. The teacher should have helped him. We you all brave enough at 7 years old to ask the teacher??? I know I wasn't!!

Hope he gets to his lesson next week and enjoys it x

BatsUpMeNightie · 30/09/2011 22:19

DownbytheRiverside

he's Y3, just out of the infants. Poor little blighter!

Absolutely!

DownbytheRiverside · 30/09/2011 22:21

Really? I find it a PITA to have random children missing 30 minutes a week, around 2/3 of my class have a music lesson. Hence the post-its.
Is it the teacher's responsibility? That's something the head could answer, and our head says no it isn't.

Original poster
MollieO · 30/09/2011 22:31

I told her as she was in the classroom this morning. I told him too. Neither of us realised that he would have to excuse himself from class and go to his lesson (she doesn't seem to be the teacher that welcomes being interrupted).

When I mentioned it this morning to her 'Ds is very excited at having his first cornet lesson today' it would have been easy for her to say that he has to ask to be excused and make his own way to the lesson. Probably would have taken 10 seconds of her time to say that, but she didn't bother. Personally I reckon that little interaction will sum up our year with her.

School music teacher is supposed to give a list of pupils to visiting music teachers. School music teacher not in today so no one to give list to visiting teacher (no I don't understand either why no one could print the timetable from the school website and give it to the visiting teacher).

School office and visiting teacher very apologetic - first I knew he'd missed his lesson when both called to apologise. When I queried it with the teacher I could have sworn she was sucking a lemon.

She also doesn't think it is her job to ensure that information writtten in homework diaries is communicated to the relevant dept (despite us being told by her at the start of term to write info in that book) but that is a whole other AIBU thread and I'm not brave enough to start two!

OP posts:
proudfoot · 30/09/2011 22:32

Tbh I do think it was your DS responsibility to remember it and say something.

cardibach · 30/09/2011 22:36

She hasn't been his teacher long. Perhaps she didn't really register it being different form his normal routine. It's normal for him, not her. However, I can see he might not realise either. Just chalk it up and get it right next week.

carabos · 30/09/2011 22:39

There's another issue which is relevant and that is why are DCs having to miss lessons in order to have their instrument lesson? We had this with DS2 and it drove me nuts. Why can't the lesson happen after or before school or be properly timetabled? In the end we stopped having lessons at school and he went to a private teacher after school (which of course we had to pay for).

Original poster
MollieO · 30/09/2011 22:43

There are only three of them in the entire school that do brass lessons. He didn't know the form and I wouldn't have minded if she hadn't known either but she did and chose not to tell him when we discussed his lesson with her this morning (just the two of us in the classroom with her so she must have heard what I said).

Fair enough that she may not know it isn't his normal routine but she did know it should have been his first lesson so I'd have expected some discussion beforehand so he would know what to do. Yr 3 seems quite odd so far. Ds got detention last week for not running in sports when he was told to (he said he was tired as it was the end of the lesson - several boys were given detention).

OP posts:
hocuspontas · 30/09/2011 22:43

Well if you have six children all wanting a piano lesson, who's going to have the 3.30 one and who's going to have to come back at 6.00 pm? Grin Much easier to have in the school day. All of our peripatetic (sp) teachers vary the times so the students don't miss the same lesson every week.

Original poster
MollieO · 30/09/2011 22:46

We pay for lessons at school. Same or slightly more than having them out of school. Big difference is ds can have music lessons. If he had them out of school he'd have to find someone willing to teach him at 7.30pm as that is the earliest time I could get him there. Not ideal. I think this teacher comes in early so I hope I can arrange lessons before school (ds is there from 7.30am so plenty of time).

OP posts:
FloraFox · 30/09/2011 22:48

I doubt she purposely didn't tell him but maybe felt a bit defensive as you seemed to come on a bit strong. Not that big a deal, is it?

MissVerinder · 30/09/2011 23:00

downby and bats

I started playing the tenor horn at 7, and moved up to French Horn when I could physically lift it.

The best memories of my childhood/teenhood are from playing in bands and orchestras all over the world.

If he doesn't like it, he won't practice and then he won't have to have any more lessons.

Original poster
MollieO · 30/09/2011 23:04

Ds wanted to learn the tenor horn but told he was too young hence starting on the cornet. I'd love it if he chose to move on to the French horn.

OP posts:
blackeyedsusan · 30/09/2011 23:08

teacher should have told him that he had to ask. she should have told him when you told her about the lesson. not hard.