Shakey bed, Wanky thread....

[VelvetSnow]

and and

Last night I was awoken by some (ahem) movement in bed. I could feel shaking and when I opened my eyes I saw DP sitting on the edge of the bed and he was clearly having a good old shuffle.

Then, once he had finished he got up and went to the bathroom. From what I could see, he'd wanked off onto an item of clothing - possibly a tshirt.

I didn't say anything at the time, why would I?

But this morning, I'm thinking...

Why not just go to the bathroom and sort yourself out, why do it sitting on the edge of the bed and then go to the bathroom?

at starting this thread
at not just going to the bathroom in the first place, and
just for the sake of it

Now I have no objection to masturbation at all I just don't want to be awoken by the vigorous shaking of the bed!

AIBU to want DP to use the bathroom instead of sitting on the edge of our bed when he's masturbating during the night?

was forced to namechange in awe of worraliberty's wankerchief

Matching Wank Mitten and Handkerchief for Christmas. Can one buy a wanking jacket to go with?

Something in the air caught DH doing the exact same yesterday night at 1.30am wtf.

I think dh was attempting this a while back.I woke up and felt shaking so i just turned over,tutted and went back to sleep.Im not sure what happened then
I am wondering how much festive wank mitts will go for at the local xmas craft fayre.

A love glove with a photo of you on the back so that he can do it in the bathroom and still have his optical stimuli

HAHAHAHAHAH I love love love this thread it had given me so many giggles. "Wankerchief"!

I have this joy yet to happen to me. SOmehow I'd rather it had already, get it over with sort of thing.

See there is def something in the air. I have had this conversation with DH, my sister and my best friend about 'wank etiquette' just this week!

My sis friend walked in on her DH cracking one off in bed, friend went mental & ripped up their marriage certificate. My sis agreed this was over the top but maintains that a man doing it in bed next to a woman is 'disrespectful'. She's no feminist, more squeamish.

Me & friend both thought it was pretty normal and DH thinks its fine because he does it. I'm a bit at the shaking but as I'm currently refusing contact until my op in 4 weeks don't feel I've got any real gripe. Is it better to be asleep & get woken up or have them do it as you are just drifting off though. Sigh, the qualms of modern marriage.

Name change in honour of thread

Eh? Is this NORMAL? You all think it's normal! I don't think that's normal, not if you are actually there. Fair enough if you're away for the weekend, or they are or something, but actually cracking one off while you're in the bed beside them.

OMG am I repressed? I'm repressed, aren't I? Is everyone doing this?

sometimes you just have to......

I do it, but then my DH is terrible in the marriage gymnatics department and, if i didn't do it to myself, no one would. :-(

So, OP, (puts psychiatrist hat on here) - you were stuffy-nosed and finding it hard to breathe...that woke DP up and the sounds led him to believed he thought you were "pleasuring yourself"...he found you weren't but he thought he'd crack one off anyway?!

Phew, makes me glad I'm single

Oh I do it, but NOT WHEN DH IS IN THE BED!

Sorry for caps.

It just seems a bit rude (and not in the good way).

Like going to someone's house for dinner and producing your own food. Which you then eat very, very messily.
And clean up with the hostess's T-shirt.

Wilson you have made me larf very much

Oi SexyDD by HAVE to what dire consequences would occur if you did not?

Saw this earlier and thought you meant, "Shaker-STYLE" bed and wankiness with regard to decor...

at marriage gymnastics

See there is def something in the air

One has to ask why all these men need to wank at 5.30 or so.....

Stay awake for the next 'N' hours and risk awakening DW who likes to get her sleep and would not be in a good mood the next day / night - thereby making the chances of any actual real action impossible.

What if this gets to be discussion of the day

Just got to say, I was not breathing heavily and snoring that was goatshavestrangeeyes

We can all do it in our own beds but I reckon I draw the line at whilst I'm trying to sleep.

Whatmeworry in my case

DW + Garlic = Wank

Doesn't anybody else, um, give their DH a hand when balls turn blue?

Not at 5.30 in the morning I won't.

No I meant instead of the 5.30 Shaky Bed Tremblers :0

whatmeworry Nope, it was his balls that got me in a mess in the first place (3 HG pregnancies) so he can bloody well suffer a bit and use his own hands to erm, give himself a hand

whatmeworry

For a 5.30 in the morning HJ he would have to bugger off for a couple of hours afterwards, then bring me a cuppa in bed, make breakfast, do all the housework for the day and take me out for a nice meal.

At the very least!

:)