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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

appropriate clothes for 11/12 year olds?

71 replies

rhondajean · 25/09/2011 19:09

Im looking to see whether I am being too strict here.

DD1 is in first year of senior school and had her first school disco recently.

She wore a lovely Ted Baker at Debenhams dress, which is nice and quite trendy (imo anyway) but not revealing at all. She had however arranged to borrow a dress from a friend which was a Lipsy dress.

She came back to say that half the girls were wearing Lipsy dresses. I had managed to defuse the situation about her wearing one by being too busy to collect the borrowed dress, but even if not, I think she is far too young to be wearing that sort of dress and I cant help wondering what these other girls mothers are thinking. Apparently they were in very short skirts, cutout tops, one shouldered etc. I have no objection to that in itself, they are lovely dresses in a nightclub, but I just think that at that age, its far too young to dress like this www.lipsy.co.uk

So what do you think, am I being hopelessly oldfashioned or not? AIBU not letting her wear one of them?

OP posts:
tabulahrasa · 25/09/2011 19:16

I doubt it was anywhere near half of them, DD is 11.5 and average size - she doesn't fit in Lipsy clothes, they're far too big for her

Original poster
rhondajean · 25/09/2011 19:21

Im open as to whether they were all actually from there (seems quite expensive for a school disco to me but maybe Im tight AND oldfashoined) its the style I was asking about.

For the record, DD1 isnt 12 yet, and fits perfectly well into Lipsy, she has a trench coat, as does the friend who offered to loan her the dress, DD1 is very sporty and the friend is a beanpole, they start at a size 6 I think.

OP posts:
naSionainne · 25/09/2011 19:22

I dont think you are being old fashioned.I dont even know what a "Lipsy" dress is lol.

My eldest is soon to be 11 and I like to give input in what I think is appropriate.They like to think and act like they are Adults,but they are a long way away from being that.

I also like to encourage my Girls to be independant thinkers and not follow the crowd.Although I understand how they like to feel inclusive by doing as thier peers do.x

nooka · 25/09/2011 19:28

What's a Lipsy dress? I have an 11 year old dd so I am interested, I just can't visualise the dress to pull on my judgy pants Grin.

My children go to a no uniform school, and dd often wears very short skirts, she loves dresses but they have a no spaghetti straps rule, so they have to be quite demure (it gets very hot here so there are quite good reasons why they might not want to wear lots of clothing, although ds seems to wear the same clothes regardless).

dd is very tall and wearing mostly adult clothes now. We got her a little black number for her Guides disco, it probably was a bit adult, but finding something that she liked and could fit was very tricky as she has no breast development yet, and by the time we found this dress she was in a bit of a state.

Original poster
rhondajean · 25/09/2011 19:32

Sorry I tried to put a link on but it didnt work. Ill try again

www.lipsy.co.uk/store/dress-shop/party-dresses

OP posts:
TangerineQueen · 25/09/2011 19:34

I suppose on an 11 year old they might be just about an appropriate length. They come up impossibly short on average sized me!

barnowl · 25/09/2011 19:39

I had a look at the site and you anbu, the label is clearly aimed at adults not pre-teens. I think you are right not to want your daughter to dress too grown-up as it can lead to so much unwanted attention. I do think it would be a good idea to have a chat with her about why you don't want her to dress like that so that next time the dress issue comes up she will be able to make an appropriate choice herself. Also Ted Baker is a great choice for that age group Grin

nooka · 25/09/2011 19:42

I don't think they are particularly terrible (or very nice either). Although some of the poses from the models are very tarty (IMO). I wouldn't be buying any of them for dd though, because they are clearly for adult women and dd wants clothes for teenagers (plus the breast thing would probably be an issue).

Having said that I wouldn't be particularly surprised to see dd's friends wearing dresses like that at a dress up party.

tabulahrasa · 25/09/2011 19:43

But even the 6's are too big for DD, and they've got too much room for bust and what have you.

I know because I got her to try one on to show her how ridiculous it looked, lol

nooka · 25/09/2011 19:46

I had a look at Ted Baker but it only came up with children's clothes. Is that right? I wouldn't expect to buy dress up clothes for dd from a children's range any more. She'd not be at all happy, and at a first high school dance I imagine that the girls will very much be wanting to look like teenagers not children.

It's a very tricky age I think. I went shopping with dd and one of her best friends last weekend. For dd it's about buying tops that work with her shape, whereas for her (much smaller) friend it's about getting teenage clothes in her size. Both had grown out of children's ranges. dd because of her height (she's 5'5") and her friend because of her style.

Foxinsocks · 25/09/2011 19:51

I've never heard of Lipsy

My 11 year old fits into a size 8/10 (including the bust) but she still doesn't wear clothes an adult size 8/10 would wear iyswim

She's got a few nice skirts/dresses from m and s and primark and h and m that fit her quite well tbh and some t shirts from uniqlo/h and m etc

Foxinsocks · 25/09/2011 19:52

I mean an adult size 8-10 she fits into. She's almost the same height as me. How did that happen!

readsalotgirl · 25/09/2011 19:53

YANBU - too grown up and faaaar too expensive ! I recently bought myself a dress for a wedding party and didn't spend as much . Clearly I am also old fashioned/out of touch and tight ! Having said that I work in a secondary school and this type of dress is what the senior pupils (17/18 yr olds) were looking at for the senior prom - so again too grown up for 11 year olds.

Foxinsocks · 25/09/2011 19:55

(sorry just watching x factor - I think as long as none of ours turn out dressed like that, we'll be fine Grin )

Itsjustafleshwound · 25/09/2011 19:56

YANBU - they are vile, too short and too grown-up for a 11yo.

Original poster
rhondajean · 25/09/2011 20:06

If theyre wearing dresses at 11/12 that 17/18 year olds are wearing at other schools, perhaps they WILL end up wearing a flashing leotard by end of school. Sad

Seems to be mixed views. She's a good kid, hasnt been complaining to me or anything, I just wanted to make sure I wasnt being too hard on her.

OP posts:
thirtysomething · 25/09/2011 20:06

Had never heard of Lipsy till I came on here tonight but oh my word! Do people really dress 11-year olds in those?

I am obviously completely old-fashioned dressing my 10-year old DD in dresses from Next and M & S!!

YouWinOrYouDie · 25/09/2011 20:14

I bought DD's Prom Dress (for the Year Six one - don't even get me started on that) from Ted Baker at Debenhams. Aqua, tight bodice but not low cut and a floaty knee-length skirt.

She was very interested in the adult size 6 "occasion-wear" however Hmm

YANBU. What would there be to leave to the imagination until they are older if you let children wear what they like whenever?

My dark thoughts have never roamed as far as flashing leotards though Shock Grin

CroissantNeuf · 25/09/2011 20:20

DD is 11 and just started high school and TBH I can't imagine her (or any of the girls from her previous primary school) wearing any of those Lipsy dresses.

However I am very aware of how girls and their awareness of fashion etc change in those first weeks and months when they move up to 'big school'.

DD has already shown a new awareness of Pauls Boutique (which thankfully she thinks is hideous!!) and Jack Wills.

A few weeks ago she'd never been aware of them at all.

partyhats · 25/09/2011 20:26

I would not be happy for my dds to dress in that style at any age let alone 11 or 12. Cheap and nasty, I hope my dds will grow up to have more respect for themselves and understand this is no way to dress if you want to be taken seriously.

Original poster
rhondajean · 25/09/2011 20:26

You needed to have X Factor on for the flashing leotard thing, it was erm quite a sight.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 25/09/2011 20:29

Lipsy dresses are not vile, nor are they cheap or nasty, but they certainly are not suitable for a 11/12yo, in fact I would say they are a bit much for anyone under 16 to be quite honest.

marriednotdead · 25/09/2011 20:34

I agree that Lipsy dresses are not cheap...

troisgarcons · 25/09/2011 20:37

Thats quite tame ... you wait till mufti days - it's like a hookers parade @ Kings Cross

fatlazymummy · 25/09/2011 20:37

They are vile IMO, at least some of them are. They look like the types of clothes that strippers would wear. I quite like some of the smocky ones with long sleeves though.I wouldn't buy one for my 11 year old. There again I would allow her to wear something 'teenagerish' just for the special occassion.