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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

aibu or just sensitive?

95 replies

MrsC1977 · 18/09/2011 17:18

Hi, myself, hubby + daughter (2) were invited to a childrens party. This was an invite from a mum who goes to the same playgroup as me. This party was arranged 3 weeks ago, and the mum kept asking me at playgroup if I was going and what food would dd eat at the party etc. Anyway, we went today and it was awful, the mum didn't say hello to us or even acknowledge we were there. So we left after 10 mins, husband was fuming and said this mum was damn right rude. I don't understand why she didn't even come and say hello and make us feel welcome, after all the conversations we had regarding her sons birthday party and if were going. Aibu? Or just sensitive? This is our first party we've ever taken dd to and jjust felt disheartened.

OP posts:

NinkyNonker · 18/09/2011 17:20

Depends, how busy was she? Where was the party? Hosting a party for lots of people can be hard work, maybe you could have given it longer?

woahthere · 18/09/2011 17:21

Im a bit shocked that you left after 10 minutes. Organising parties is a really stressed affair, the host was probably really distracted and stressed out and anxious about it going well. Usually, the anxiety settles down after a while so to only give it 10 minutes I think youve been very rude. So yes YABU and sensitive.

sittinginthesun · 18/09/2011 17:22

Oh dear, unreasonable I'm afraid. How many children/parents were there? Organising a party is a stressful business - once you've sorted out the venue, food, entertainment etc, you need your guests to just get on with it. It's up to you to mingle and meet people.

alistron1 · 18/09/2011 17:22

The party would have been primarily for the kids. If she was hosting several 2 year olds and their parents she wouldn't have had time to 'meet and greet'

troisgarcons · 18/09/2011 17:23

Blimey - did you or OH go and say hello? did you offer to help?

A bit unreasonable. Shame you poilt your daughters afternoon though - I take it you didnt leave her at the party.

muffinflop · 18/09/2011 17:23

You left after 10 minutes because the party host who was no doubt stressed and busy didn't have time to acknowledge you? Are you royalty?! If you'd stayed longer I'm sure she would have gotten around to you at some point. Your husband was fuming? Really?!

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch · 18/09/2011 17:23

10 minutes is not that long. Do you mean she actively blanked you, or simply that she didn't go out of her way to come up to you. Parties are v stressful for some people. Maybe she would have given you more attention later.

MumblingRagDoll · 18/09/2011 17:24

It's quite normal (though badly organised) for a child's brthday to be like that..some parents are very nervous and stressed hosting parties and get panicky.

She probably would have come up to you...how many were there already? Its best to wade in and offer to help....mostly people wil give you a job to do and that's that.

Its not meant to be about you.

baguettecut · 18/09/2011 17:24

Did you even approach the host? If you were waiting for her to come to you, at a busy children's party, then yes, YABU!

LaWeasel · 18/09/2011 17:24

Really? After only 10minutes? Doesn't sound like you have her much of a chance.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 18/09/2011 17:24

I think you and your DH behaved appallingly. I have hosted several parties for my DC's where I have been so busy I have barely had time to think let alone sit around chatting with every parent. You sound incredibly precious and self absorbed.

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch · 18/09/2011 17:25

Was it in a hall, or at home?

I am finding it difficult to imagine a situation where it was reasonable to leave after so little time. This was a party for a child. Why was your OH there? Is he friends with her?

baguettecut · 18/09/2011 17:25

Is this your first party, by any chance?

Groovee · 18/09/2011 17:25

You left after 10 minutes? I think you were downright rude! Parties are stressful and you weren't there to be centre of attention. Did you offer her any help or did you sit there moaning about being ignored to each other? You're going to have to get a grip if you're ever going to cope with children's parties.

Original poster

MrsC1977 · 18/09/2011 17:26

It was at a farm that holds partys. There was a member a staff hosting the party. No, there wasn't many people there at all. Ill just Put it down to being unreasonable then. Thanks for your replies.

OP posts:

TidyDancer · 18/09/2011 17:26

Sorry, but you and DH were incredibly rude, not the party mum. You behaved very badly. I think you need to make up an excuse as to why you left early (ie someone was feeling ill) if you ever want to be invited to anything ever again.

Honeydragon · 18/09/2011 17:27

wasn't the invite really for your daughter, and therefore cruel of you to take her away. As for your husband "fuming" why? Is he royalty?

treas · 18/09/2011 17:27

This is a joke right? If it isn't the YABU and sensitive.

Parties for children are stressful situations even for the most organised host and they have far more to worry about than be concerned about the sensibilities of so called grown-ups.

I just hope the parents attending your dd's parties in the future are for more understanding than you are.

soverylucky · 18/09/2011 17:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsRobertDuvall · 18/09/2011 17:27

You really need to get a grip.
You were both really rude....what are you going to say next time you see her?
Awful behaviour.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 18/09/2011 17:27

oh and the host had probably paid for your DD to be there so even more rude of you

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch · 18/09/2011 17:28

OK everyone. nothing to see here. OP admits SWBU

Thumbwitch · 18/09/2011 17:28

YAB pretty U, ditto your H. You're not Royalty, are you? If you were, I can see why you'd expect a hostess to drop everything to greet you, but if you're not then you're being a touch precious.

That mum could have been firefighting a crisis at the party, trying to do last minute organisation or anything.

I cannot believe you thought 10 minutes was an appropriate length of time to stay before leaving in a huff - your poor DD!

(it's downright rude, btw, just for future ref but I'm only telling you so you know, not because I'm picking holes in you).

YellowDinosaur · 18/09/2011 17:28

YABVVVVU and incredibly rude to have left after only 10 minutes. Unless you were the only people there when you arrived it is not rude of the host for all the reasons already posted.

This is precisely why I am glad my boys are now old enough to have drop off parties - I can concentrate on the children (which is, afterall, the point of a childrens party) and don't need to pander to precious high maintenance parents like you!

MumblingRagDoll · 18/09/2011 17:28

yes...they had paid for you! And they were probably nervous and a bit shy themselves. If I were you I would apolgise to them and say DH wasn't well!

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