to think I will NEVER do these things...

[ButteryPie]

My DDs are four and two and I will never:
-let them have thier ears pierced before 18
-make any remarks about thier weight
-let them get away without doing homework
-give them alcohol before they are 14, and then only small amounts until they are 18
-let them have any clothing or footwear on which the brand is visable
-let them watch commericial TV
-buy them any magazines with dieting/seduction tips
-let them ride motorbikes or mopeds
-encourage rough pastimes like boxing or rugby
-give them a pot noodle
-let them go more than a day without reading and writing
-let them watch music videos or go online without an adult before they are 14
-allow any makeup or hair products before they start high school

I'm sure I will manage every single one of these things, just like I did with the rules I had when they were born, like the no TV before the age of 2 one, or the never feeding them junk food one, or the always using terry nappies one...

What are your absolute nevers? Just thought it might be useful to, er, document them, so we can look back on them in a few years. For future smugness, obviously.

ha ha.....yeah.........think i'll grab a chair & a donut for this one.

Good luck with those

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Good luck with all that.

Most of your rules sound ridiculous

-argue with DH in front of them.

might have bollocksed that one up already actually

Good idea for a thread!

Them nevers would be no good in my house already done most of them and they are 9 and 3, prob only thing i would never allow them to get away with is homework.

I actually will NEVER comment about weight - other than that hahahahaha - hopefully I'll always be a great mum but I'm aiming for non-toxic

Guys - I think OP is in fact saying that her rules are ridiculous. It's a joke thread.

Isn't it?

No, of course you won't dear

Ha, good luck with any of that!!

I would never allow mine to :

Squash a chip onto a bus window, peel it off (along with all the window muck) and then eat it.

Pick up tab ends

Shit on the doorstep

She's joking.

Never

• kick out DD if she falls pregnant as a teen. (Obviously I want to educate her so this is less likely to happen)

I'll never let them skip out of the door in the mornings without a goodbye kiss... even if they do wipe it off with their sleeves.

Before they are 18, I promise my children shall never

• drive my sports car (ok I don't have one yet)
• be allowed to climb a mountain bigger than ben nevis
• drink more than ten tequila shots

I'm aiming low

um, i think the OP is tongue in cheek??? you all seem to be taking it seriously lol

op ihave a similar list, we should compare in 10 years time

What really would you NEVER let your child other than the obvious ??????

Spit on the ground.

Of course she's joking! As are most of the reponses.

OP, we've all been there. If I wrote my list of 'I will nevers' out here I'd run of space

I know that many people with small DCs read threads about older DCs and smuggly think 'not mine'! Well done OP for recognising it -quicker than the people with PFBs.

In the words of John Lennon, life is what happens when you're busy making other plans.

Having said that I fully intend to resist getting my kids mobile phones until they're 16, no make up until about the same age, and plenty of other things my parents should have stopped me from doing until I was of a reasonable age.

I should also add 'and they will never argue with me'! (seeing as the list will set you up for a lifetime of it!)

If I have been out for a long cycle- say 50 - 60 miles and have had a fly go in my mouth then I am afraid I spit on the ground and wouldn't except I can do this and want my dd not to if she was with me and the same happened.