to think I will NEVER do these things...

[ButteryPie]

My DDs are four and two and I will never:
-let them have thier ears pierced before 18
-make any remarks about thier weight
-let them get away without doing homework
-give them alcohol before they are 14, and then only small amounts until they are 18
-let them have any clothing or footwear on which the brand is visable
-let them watch commericial TV
-buy them any magazines with dieting/seduction tips
-let them ride motorbikes or mopeds
-encourage rough pastimes like boxing or rugby
-give them a pot noodle
-let them go more than a day without reading and writing
-let them watch music videos or go online without an adult before they are 14
-allow any makeup or hair products before they start high school

I'm sure I will manage every single one of these things, just like I did with the rules I had when they were born, like the no TV before the age of 2 one, or the never feeding them junk food one, or the always using terry nappies one...

What are your absolute nevers? Just thought it might be useful to, er, document them, so we can look back on them in a few years. For future smugness, obviously.

My parents stopped me VikingBood-you do it in secret!

Oh, I forgot a couple!
-respond to a question with "because I said so!"
-have one of those passive aggressive arguments with DH where you argue through the children, eg "well if DADDY had done the washing up, we could have gone to the park, but now I have to do it" "if MUMMY had let me have chance, instead of hogging the kitchen all morning making ridiculous cakes" etc

I think I might have already done some of my nevers actually... :)

Domedon - if your dd was very overweight would you ignore it? Also if underweight? In both instances eating badly?

Two of my nephews are obese. Nobody in the family acknowledges this or uses the 'f' word.

Is this what being a good parent means? Ignoring the fact that your child is damaging their health?

YANBU. Most of your ideas are sensible. It won't always be so easy but that's parenting. No-one said it was supposed to be easy. Good luck!

I havent got that many absolute nevers really as long as they dont become smokers that is about the only think I would be really bothered about.

My pfb dd was never going to:

eat meat (nursery fed it to her)
wear shoes that weren't "fitted" until her feet had stopped growing (oops!)
eat junk (hides tunnocks tea cakes)
watch tv (cancels sky package)
do too much after school (watches clock as she she has a busy schedule to keep)
I could go on.

What I have stuck to though is:

I don't feed her meat and she would never choose to eat it
Only her party shoes aren't fitted
We have a treat day and allow treats on special occasions
She is not that bothered about the tv
She still doesn't have her ears pierced (despite a considerable amount of pressure)
She enjoys everything she does after school
We have a laugh together

Also I dont want to be a parent that says no to loads of things as thats makes them in to rebels

I failed at the first hurdles I put up for myself...

-DS will NOT have a dummy (he did have one, admittedly only for a month but still...)

-DS will be exclusively breastfed

-Will never have to bribe DS to do things, he will just do them because he respects my authority.

Still belly-laughing over that last one!

-let them have thier ears pierced before 18

well I told DD, 10, she could have them done when her periods start..

-make any remarks about thier weight

DD has a condition which means she needs lots of calories, so thats a no no, as every 2 months her weight is scrutinised by a team

-let them get away without doing homework

If she doesnt do it, she has to face the consequences. Thats far more effective than ME nagging

-give them alcohol before they are 14, and then only small amounts until they are 18

Not sure on this one. A little sip now and again doesnt seem to have driven her to binging alcopops

-let them have any clothing or footwear on which the brand is visable

But I LIKE Oilily.....

-let them watch commericial TV

Otherwise known as 'how to get a lie in on a Saturday morning'....

-buy them any magazines with dieting/seduction tips

To see how ridiculous the media is sometimes.....

-let them ride motorbikes or mopeds

DS, 5, wants to learn to drive the tractor, and DD has been using Grandads farm quad.

-encourage rough pastimes like boxing or rugby

DD likes kickboxing. DS starts dance next term

-give them a pot noodle

See previous about high fat, high calories. Cant stand the things myself, but if they want to try it??

-let them go more than a day without reading and writing

At school..... (though both do it voluntarily at home, but tring to force it would backfire terribly)

-let them watch music videos or go online without an adult before they are 14

Better computer savvy and educated than naive and the laughing stock. Tho I do monitor what they use. Current fav video is Flight of the Conchords 'sugar lumps' (Bad mummy alert - dont let your 10 year old teach 'sugar lumps' to the boys in her school, who then decide to audition for class talent show with it...

-allow any makeup or hair products before they start high school

DS LOVES lipstick. He is always first to the testers in Boots.....

One of my nevers was to do with ear piercing. I told dd she couldn't have ears pierced until she was 16 by which time she had developed a dislike of needles so has still not had them pierced!

Mine will never go to bed without saying his prayers.

What's wrong with boxing or rugby?

Control freak- much?

Mine is born yet so I have a probably optimistic list but it would be:

1. Ears pierced before 16
2. Have a TV in the bedroom
3. Be fed a turkey twizzler etc by me (can' really stop what others might feed them)
4. Have a dummy
5. Not send a thank you letter for a gift / party etc

erm that's pretty short - bet there are loads more but I can't think of them....

Cat girl I was reading your list and thinking yes to them all then got to 5

Hey eagle this is my pre him even being born list so I am sure plenty of things will go awry and all my good intentions will be lost under a pile of reality :)

I remember when I was pregnant with DD. I confidently told people that the baby wouldn't change the way me and DH lived our lives, she'd fit in with us.

Mine are teenagers now and after breaking most rules that I had by the time they were toddlers I stopped setting rules

I've broken nearly all my PFB rules and DD is only 10 months. At the moment I'm narrowing it down to

No playing with pipe bombs except at weekends
No animal print clothes of ANY kind.

Think that's it.

at the respecting authority comment. DD has learnt 'no' and uses it all the time, and just laughs when I say it to her.

If it's not tongue in cheek, then I wish you the very best of luck

If it is tongue in cheek, you will no doubt realise as you go on, that each and every one will class as a HUGE fail at some stage or another

SayCool pipe bombs at weekends only? Bitch.

Mine are 6 and 2, let's see how I fare

-let them have thier ears pierced before 18 - DD1 has asked about getting hers done - I had mine pierced when I was 10 so hope to be able to hold out until then!
-make any remarks about their weight- erm, I tell DD2 she has a lovely big tummy when she's full, bt apart from that, no
-let them get away without doing homework - DD1 is good about homework so far
-give them alcohol before they are 14, and then only small amounts until they are 18 - I was allowed watered down wine with meals from the age of 7/8, so if DDs ask when they are older then I would do the same
-let them have any clothing or footwear on which the brand is visable - Doesn't bother me. DD1 has a GAP emblazoned cardigan.
-let them watch commericial TV - again, doesn't bother me.
-buy them any magazines with dieting/seduction tips - When they are old enough for such magazines to appeal, I wouldn't have any objection to them buying them with pocket money, but I would have a read myself and discuss the contents with them
-let them ride motorbikes or mopeds - Up to them when they are of an age to do so.
-encourage rough pastimes like boxing or rugby - I'd be delighted if DDs are sporty, wouldn't mind them doing either of the above.
-give them a pot noodle - Well, I haven't, but if we were in the supermarket and they wanted to try one then they could.
-let them go more than a day without reading and writing - Not an issue, they are perpetually drawing/writing (DD1) and wouldn't let us get away without at least two bedtime stories each.
-let them watch music videos or go online without an adult before they are 14 - I'd be careful about what music videos they watch - they don't know how to access them at the moment, but DD1 goes online on her own. However all computers are in communal rooms, I feel strongly about them not having computers in bedrooms.
-allow any makeup or hair products before they start high school - Well, I've given them some make-up to play with to stop them trying to nick my Dior. I can't imagine, looking at older girls in the school, that it will be an issue until they are well into high school. DD1 borrows my serum which helps with frizz/knots when drying her hair though and she has had make-up and hairspray on for dancing shows.

When I was a baby room supervisor no child of mine would have a dummy! My work colleagues were poorless when I turned up with a 6 day old dd and a dummy!

Ds never had a dummy though I wish he had as he cried non stop.

I have very few no no's to be honest. Now I just hope that they stay on the straight and narrow without few major incidents.