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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think I will NEVER do these things...

77 replies

ButteryPie · 12/09/2011 14:27

My DDs are four and two and I will never:
-let them have thier ears pierced before 18
-make any remarks about thier weight
-let them get away without doing homework
-give them alcohol before they are 14, and then only small amounts until they are 18
-let them have any clothing or footwear on which the brand is visable
-let them watch commericial TV
-buy them any magazines with dieting/seduction tips
-let them ride motorbikes or mopeds
-encourage rough pastimes like boxing or rugby
-give them a pot noodle
-let them go more than a day without reading and writing
-let them watch music videos or go online without an adult before they are 14
-allow any makeup or hair products before they start high school

Grin

I'm sure I will manage every single one of these things, just like I did with the rules I had when they were born, like the no TV before the age of 2 one, or the never feeding them junk food one, or the always using terry nappies one...

What are your absolute nevers? Just thought it might be useful to, er, document them, so we can look back on them in a few years. For future smugness, obviously.

OP posts:
SayCoolNowSayWhip · 12/09/2011 17:13

RockStock yup I am a harsh overbearing parent Grin

Maiavan · 12/09/2011 17:14

Well since I have passed the teenage stage with 2 of mine, have one IN the teenage years and one coming up to them, the rules I have not broken (so far) are:

Mmmm...
No ear piercings till you leave home
No motobikes

Thats about it. Its quite an eye opener when they get a mind of their own and just refuse point blank.

RockStockAndTwoOpenBottles · 12/09/2011 17:17

Frankly, SayCool I am appalled at the level of your strictness. similar to mine it would seem Grin

Still, my soon to be 18 year old DD1 appears to have got there unscathed and is a rather fine young adult.

DD3 on the other hand is on the very edge of being sold today. She appears to have the collective attitude of a thousand shitty tempered 2 year olds this afternoon. so I have resorted to all sorts of bribery and will hit the vodka shortly

AbbyAbsinthe · 12/09/2011 17:18

Ha! I can remember watching an episode of something years ago, when dd was a baby... could have been the Royle Family maybe... and they gave the kids a plate of digestives for their tea - I was appalled.

Fast forward a few years - I had been out the night before on the lash and was fast asleep in bed when dd came in at 5.30 am to ask for breakfast... she was about 3/4 I think.

'There's a tube of Pringles in the cupboard'

Grin Grin

Kayano · 12/09/2011 17:35

I live next to the fat 8 year old who nearly got taken off his mother... Sometimes you need to talk to kids about their weight!

TrillianAstra · 12/09/2011 17:37

Haha, YABU.

GinSlinger · 12/09/2011 17:39

My children weren't going to eat sweets or crisps because they wouldn't know what sweets were because they wouldn't be exposed to adverts on telly etc.

They ate the sweets and no one died and my pregnant DD tells me that she's not going to let her children have sweets either. Grin

Psammead · 12/09/2011 17:54

I never really thought I would be an amazingly good mother. I only made one promise and that was that I would really try hard not to let her die through something really stupid that I did.

So far it's working.

Now I have got over the blind panic of having to keep someone else alive, I aim to...

  • never treat her any differently to how I would a boy.
  • never let her get fat, but not make her paranoid about food
  • never let her get bullied
  • never let her think it's cool to be stupid
festi · 12/09/2011 17:59

I think the only one worth reasoanbly sticking to is the pot noddle

psiloveyou · 12/09/2011 18:00

I failed at 9 of your rules and I know dd did the other 4 behind my back Grin

borderslass · 12/09/2011 18:04

Well my youngest will be 16 next month and has done most of those things however the remarking about the weight goes both ways its not always about being overweight some kids especially girls can be very underweight due to outside factors such as bullying and peer pressure, never say never Smile

SecondMrsDeWinter · 12/09/2011 18:17

Oh I had such aspirations when pg with pfb. My birthplan for starters was to be drug free with dim lighting & had bought a cd of rainforest sounds (oh the naivety). No child of mine will EVER have a dummy (oops), I will never stick them in front of the tv just so I can get things done Hmm. I will not need to bribe them with mini cheddars to keep them quiet at christenings/weddings etc as they will obviously sit quietly & well behaved. The one thing I do absolutely stick to is no sweets (of the sticky/chewy variety) as the sugar sends them haywire. I only let them have fresh juice (watered down) at breakfast, other than that they have water. DS1 is 3 & DS2 is 2 so they haven't really questioned this yet Wink.

AnyoneButLulu · 12/09/2011 18:22

Grin but actually mine are 9 and 7 and I still believe I'll never do 7 of the OP's list.
Motorbike, oooooh, no
Giving them alcohol before the age of 14
Makeup and hairproducts - depends what "high school" means, if secondary then defo not.
Boxing and rugby, bit of a cheat because DS is not that sort of boy
Reading every day, frankly the only way I could stop them reading would be to blindfold them and put them in mittens.
Dieting and seduction magazines, I don't see why I'd end up buying them for DD, though I'm sure she'll buy them herself.
Pot noodle, again I don't see why I would (though DH had a sneaky one the other day while I was out).

Does that make me precious, or deluded?

Homework I am strict about, but am not able to kid myself that I'll still be so when they're 16, weight comments I'd like to think I'll be able to resist, but if DD lost as much weight as I did when she's 17 then I would probably whisk her off to the doctors like my mother did me. The TV, computer and labelled clothes aspirations are long evaporated.
I am

TalcAndTurnips · 12/09/2011 18:46

Interesting thread. As a parent of much older daughters (one of adult age, the other nearly so), both of whom are pretty well-balanced and happy - it's like with most things - everything in moderation.

Neither of them have ever smoked, or drink more than very moderately; they're not obsessive about their appearance and are both fit and of normal weight.

The strictest rules I applied were about respect for others and for themselves. Set a good example yourself and encourage them to set achievable expectations for themselves; remind them that they're not the centre of the universe; love them and support them and I bet you'll find you don't need to ban much along the way.

I've seen over-strict rules result in rebellion and children going behind their parents' backs to reach for the forbidden fruit. Equip your children with self-respect (along with clear behavioural boundaries) and they may never feel the need to.

Butterflybows · 12/09/2011 21:28

It's all very well having rules, but lets hope their dad doesn't undermine you...

exoticfruits · 12/09/2011 23:53

I think the only one worth reasoanbly sticking to is the pot noddle

Not really.Mine felt hard done by because he had never had one. I bought him one and he never asked again.

festi · 13/09/2011 00:19

a bit like crispy pancakes Grin, my dd tells daddy he is not alowed them as they will just give him heart burn.

Zimm · 13/09/2011 07:48

I will never comment on DD's weight. I may do everything else wrong but I do agree this is one worth aiming for!

tittybangbang · 13/09/2011 12:25

My dd has asked me 'mum - am I fat?'. She is. Those of you who will never comment on your child's weight - what would your response be to this question? (dd is 12 by the way).

TaperJeanGirl · 13/09/2011 13:36

My rules for dd1 (6), dd2(4) ds(2) and dd3(15 weeks)

No meat
No Dubstep
No motorbikes
No car journeys without a car seat

Most other things I really cant get worked up over, eldest has pierced ears, 4 year old has spoke about getting hers done but then changes her mind, dont mind them having choc/cakes (but no haribo/candy/boiled sweets) dont mind them watching anything on tv within reason..dont mind the girls doing kickboxing even though I worry about their faces...think i'm really laid back (or just a crap mum) Hmm Grin

TaperJeanGirl · 13/09/2011 13:42

Oh, and def no playing out. EVER, despite lots of whinging I wont ever back down on this one...

Maryz · 13/09/2011 14:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

amess · 13/09/2011 14:16

how serious is this OP isn't it just the norm for majority and so no need for it to be listed?

HeadfirstForHalos · 13/09/2011 14:55

I had the pot noodle one, it lasted unti dd1 was 8, my dc think pot noodles are the food of the gods and on the rare occasion they nag me into buying them I buy them they thinks it the best treat ever!

TaperJeanGirl · 13/09/2011 20:48

Maryz, if I can get away with it they wont be...I think being out at 16 is even worse than 6, the 16 year olds round here tend to mug/get mugged, stab/get stabbed, and sometimes get themselves shot Sad