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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be getting really fed up with people saying...

77 replies

kansasmum · 05/09/2011 14:58

"Oh bet you won't know what to do with yourself now your little boy is at school/what are you going to do all day etc etc"?

Grrrr.....
I work 2 mornings a week and spend another morning prepping stuff (I run a large toddler group), I run a Young mum's housegroup on Monday morning for our church and a birthday/cupcake business from my home in between and people think I'm going to be a) bored or b) sit on my arse all day watching daytime TV!!
I do have a brain and a life and although I miss my little boy like mad(today is his first day at school) its not like I am sat around counting the minutes til he comes home (well, ok I AM today cos its his first day but it won't be like that everyday!).

I really wish I was quick witted enough to come up with some really snappy, witty comeback!!!

OP posts:
DoMeDon · 05/09/2011 15:02

YABU - people are making conversation - accept and try to enjoy it - or tay at home.

AIBU to be sick of oversensitive types who could take offence at their own shadow?

DoMeDon · 05/09/2011 15:02

... stay at home.. obvs.

porcamiseria · 05/09/2011 15:03

hmm, not that exacting a workload is it?

Carrotsandcelery · 05/09/2011 15:06

I found it frustrating and I didn't have the to do list that you hae kansas. I know they were just making chit chat but it made me want to scream. I really feel the weight of my responsibilities at home and find it tricky keeping on top of everything.

DoMeDon · 05/09/2011 15:07

Why does it need to be snappy, witty comeback? You seem to want to put people in their place for talking to you. Ok their comments are misplaced as you are sooooo busy but why not just say 'I'll miss him, but i'm very busy with my cake business and toddler group, be nice to have a bit more time to focus on all that actually Smile'

DoMeDon · 05/09/2011 15:09

Really?? The wieght of responsiblitiy at home? Are you not getting your hospital corners right on the beds? Have you run out of homemade preserves?

I had a close call with a serious offender at work last night but the dust on bakc of TV is what keeps me awake Hmm

HairyGrotter · 05/09/2011 15:11

I 'woop woop' when people ask because I'm a student and DD attends nursery during the holidays and I get to kick back and do sweet FA...beautiful they be jealous

HeifferunderConstruction · 05/09/2011 15:11

Its just chit chat why do people need to get worked up over such trivial things?

Why not replying diplomatically? 'Oh well actually I run a large toddler groupI'll have more time for that'
will probably open avenue for more polite conversation.

These people may not know what goes on in your life, and why should they??

ArseyContarsie · 05/09/2011 15:13

i think i understand where the OP is coming from here

some people take great delight in asking that question with huge implications that now your kids are school you are a lazy cow unless you go out to work, even if it's for 'pin money' Hmm

i have a neighbour who asked me everytime i saw her 'what are you going to do with yourself when she's at school', i often said 'well, some of the things i've not been able to do for the past 4 years would be a start' and gave her a smile

this was not enough for her, she got more and more nosey, until i told her i was planning to shag the window cleaner again for a sibling for DD that she stopped Grin

she's stopped asking now Wink and i can get on with my life, and her with hers

porcamiseria · 05/09/2011 15:17

maybe us working Mums are a tad resentful, its the way the cookie crumbles but I its hard to symathise when you work 5 days and do everything at evenings and weekends and have NO TIME

I dont resent SAHMs that have oodles of time but if they say they are busy I will internally seethe! like DomdeDon, I am clealy not only one!

Original poster
kansasmum · 05/09/2011 15:19

I know they are probably only making conversation and I know my workload "is not that exacting" and I am not trying to put people in their place. its just a bit wearing when its what every other person says to you!!

Perhaps I should try saying I am going to shag the w/cleaner Arsey- would be interesting to see what their reply was!! :o

OP posts:
ArseyContarsie · 05/09/2011 15:22

oh dear, yes the life's a peach being a SAHM and only parents who go OUT to work are allowed to be called 'working'. opinions are still rife then

FelixCited · 05/09/2011 15:23

Just smile and say
'I know, it's going to be bliss, I can get my nails done and have a massage'

coz that's what I'm going to do next year when my DS goes to nursery Wink

southmum · 05/09/2011 15:25

So....what are you going to do with the 5 afternoons and 1 morning you'll have left? Grin

porcamiseria · 05/09/2011 15:25

whos saying that arsey? not me I hope?

Its just if you do the maths OP still has, outside of work/voluntary time a fair few hours free. hours that many people dont have. simple

alot of SAHMs have fuck all time, as they have little ones to chase. In fact I ger more admin done at work that when at home with kids

scrambedeggs · 05/09/2011 15:25

you can minny on MN that you never have any ME time, same as all the others Grin

HeifferunderConstruction · 05/09/2011 15:26

I dont resent SAHMs that have oodles of time but if they say they are busy I will internally seethe! like DomdeDon, I am clealy not only one!

^^ point me out any mother who has oodles of time

Huffythetantrumslayer · 05/09/2011 15:26

Well aren't people lovely? Jealous much? You're busier than I am op! And fuck hospital corners I'd rather watch the tele when I get a chance! Tell 'em to f off or the window cleaner option Grin

wordsonapage · 05/09/2011 15:29

Tell them to fuck off

porcamiseria · 05/09/2011 15:30

^^ point me out any mother who has oodles of time

err mothers that have children at school and are SAHM, who dont work, and dont do volunteer activities, they have shit loads of time!

look at the WAGS FFS! not all mothers work hard, if you have money and are so inclined can have life of bloody riley

not saying this is OP BTW, but I dont buy that all Mums are busy

ArseyContarsie · 05/09/2011 15:30

i said that because the OP does work, and you say 'us working mums are a tad resentful'

wordsonapage · 05/09/2011 15:32

X post with huffy

no one should ever have to justify their time.

What you do is your business

wordsonapage · 05/09/2011 15:33

Porca

You have just described me perfectly

ta muchly x

LineRunner · 05/09/2011 15:34

OP, I would just shrug and say, 'Not really. I always tend to have a lot on.'

No-one ever said this sort of stuff to me. They were probably thinking, It's about time that lazy caaah tidied up her house.

HappyMummyOfOne · 05/09/2011 15:35

Its just conversation, if you worked full time they wouldnt have said it but two mornings a week leaves loads of free time so can see why it was said.