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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have a bad feeling about this man i've dated......advice needed please??

70 replies

grovvymum · 30/08/2011 23:23

I met this man on a phone dating site which istumbled accross as i was just bored one day when my internet was down. I tought nothing of it as i dont really have time for a man however a chatted to a few which led to nothing. However i got chatting to oneyou know general stuff he sounded genuine guy ihad been talking to him for over 6 weeks. He askedme to meet him. I was a bit dubious but figured what the hell ive got nothig to lose. we had a good time together as it goes had a few drinks and a dance. took advice stayed in a public place etc etc. Anyway. At the end of the night we had a goodnight kiss when i got picked up swapped numbers etc. As soon as i got home he rang me. i thought that pleasant he just making sure i got home ok etc. however i couldt get him off the phone he was saying he really likes me. He said though he was having to sleep i his car as he couldnt get home ( he said he nly lived fifteen min drive away from were we met and wasnt short of money so surelycould have got a a taxi? now he did and does seem a lovely lad but i just sense something he not telling me. he says he been living in anoter part of country for a few years and not long got back round here living with his mum.

in the morning i was bombarded with messages of him wanting to meet me for lunch. He knows have children and that they would be with me that day but insisted and insisted he wanted to come and see me or go for lunch. I obviously put him off and said no i wouldnt meet him with the kids.

thing is he has been texting me phoning me andd is a lovely guy to talk to but when i asked him about an area near were he lives he didnt know where it was. he said he was on ebay and it his first time and i though ehh? that strange well maybe not but he has no email or facebook account. When we chatted and i mentioned tv programmes he seems to have no clue about them. he says he reads a lot so fair enough. He really wants to see me again and although i have been trying to be sensible and thinking maybe he just trying to butter me up and he a fake or just come out of jail or something like that or maybe i think i am being to untrusting as i do find it hard to trust men nowadays lol. He has pursuaded me to meet him tomorrow but i dont know if i want to go now tbh as he wants to meet me in my home town. What do you think are my gut instinct right you thinkor am i overky paranoid advce please.xxxx

OP posts:
HummelBoy · 30/08/2011 23:25

Run Forrest, Run.

Original poster
grovvymum · 30/08/2011 23:26

ps sorry about the dreadful spelling and typos just typing this really quickly as wanted your advice quickly thanks.xx

OP posts:
baressentials · 30/08/2011 23:27

Go with your gut instinct. Block his number. You don;t have to answer his calls or reply to his texts.

Lucyinthepie · 30/08/2011 23:28

Don't be daft, you don't really need to ask do you? What exactly do you think is lovely about this? Tell him you're not interested and then block him on your phone. I hope you didn't tell him where you live.
(And don't do xxxx at the end of posts, it's very un-Mumsnetty and you'll get told off). Smile

Original poster
grovvymum · 30/08/2011 23:29

thanks bares i feel i should go with my gut instict but wanted your advice on here to see if i just paranoid. Some things just dont add up though to me.

OP posts:
Lucyinthepie · 30/08/2011 23:31

Don't go and meet him and don't give him any clues that might help him to find you. Alarm bells ringing all over the place here.

Original poster
grovvymum · 30/08/2011 23:31

Thank lucy and sorry for the xxxx its just i have been reading too may of his txt messages lol with tonnes of kisses at the end. i just dont understand why someone would lie though. What would he want from me?

OP posts:
Original poster
grovvymum · 30/08/2011 23:32

No he doesnt know where i live thank god. Only the town.

OP posts:
blackeyedsusan · 30/08/2011 23:33

run for the hills... he has more red flags than a socialist convention... do not trust him. do not contact him. disappear into the ether.

squeakytoy · 30/08/2011 23:34

Get a male friend to ring him, and pretend he is your husband and has just discovered these messages on your phone... its a foolproof method Grin

Hatesponge · 30/08/2011 23:34

Don't meet him. Block him on your phone. Does he know where you live or just the town? Are you searchable (ie unusual name, landline no in the phone book etc)

There is something about what you say that makes me uneasy, and it's probably giving you the same feeling. There are other men out there who you won't get those uneasy feelings about. Let this one go.

CocktailQueen · 30/08/2011 23:34

Having to sleep in his car? Not knowing where somewhere close to where he lives is??? Bombarding you with calls and texts after one date??? Alarms bells everywhere. Run away!!!

pictish · 30/08/2011 23:34

God lord woman! Get rid.

baressentials · 30/08/2011 23:35

You were dubious about meeting him, couldn't get him off the phone, were bombarded with messages, persuaded to meet him and on top of that whatever he told you about himself initially, hasn't added up.
Definitely give him a wide berth. If it makes you feel better then text him that you won't be meeting him and not to contact you again. Then block his number.
But remember you don't owe him anything. You can just block his number and leave it there.
He doesn't know where you live does he?

cheekeymonkey · 30/08/2011 23:35

Er, I hope that thudding sound is you running away very fast and not him knocking on your door? Seriously reassure us that this guy doesn't know where you live? Creepy or what?

Hatesponge · 30/08/2011 23:35

Sorry, x post. Him not knowing where you live is good.

FriggFRIGG · 30/08/2011 23:36

Run,Run away.
he is,at very best,a bit oddHmm

joanne77 · 30/08/2011 23:38

I don't think this sounds good. Irrespective of what he is like you sound quite worried about him and if you don't feel good about him, even if he is fine, you will be worried and unhappy.

Also I would be worried if he can;t take no for an answer. I think you have articulated quite well your concerns about him. I would say follow your insticnt - maybe tell him you are busy for the next few days and arrange to meet him next week.

cheekeymonkey · 30/08/2011 23:38

I like squeaky's advice tbh. Its what I would do.

wotabouttheworkers · 30/08/2011 23:39

Run, run as fast as you can. Trust your instincts. Sounds like nothing but big trouble. Take care.

cheekeymonkey · 30/08/2011 23:40

I like squeaky's advice tbh. Its what I would do.

cheekeymonkey · 30/08/2011 23:42

Ooo sorry red onions always repeat on me :$

Original poster
grovvymum · 30/08/2011 23:44

Thanks guys. I hink you have confirmed my suspicions are justified and i am either going to get my friend to ring or tell him i busy tomorrow. its just he been so nice although i suppose that would all be part of the act. I am just intrigued in a way and want to know why he so pushy and trying to push things along so fast. i aint falling for any of it though i have children to think of and they my world. i wander what hes after though.?/

OP posts:
pictish · 30/08/2011 23:45

Oooh I dunno....somewhere to stay perhaps? Sex? Maybe money?
Who can tell.

squeakytoy · 30/08/2011 23:45

I am just intrigued in a way and want to know why he so pushy and trying to push things along so fast

Wholly understandable, but a) you would be unlikely to get the truth, and b)if by any miracle you did get the truth, its going to be something you really would run a mile from...

Ignorance can definately be bliss in some instances. And this is one!