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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

In thinking that HVs, Midwives, GPs, etc should 'suggest' MN?

95 replies

kevlarbrassiere · 22/08/2011 14:53

Met an old friend today for lunch.

I was updating her on my dc's and getting updated on hers.

She wanted to know how I had coped with the trials of my dc's issues, and I said that reading MN threads were a life saver.

When I originally discovered for myself that MN existed, I couldn't believe that all the doctors, midwives, etc., hadn't suggested parenting fora (forums?) to me as an informal 24 hour support.

AIBU to think that maybe they should suggest MN (and the others) to parents who are struggling, or lonely, etc.?

OP posts:

benne81 · 22/08/2011 15:08

Possibly but I don't think healthcare professionals would ever suggest parenting fora mainly because you can't vet what goes on in the threads, sometimes advice given out although with the best intentions is medically inaccurate and whilst on the whole threads can be supportive there can be the odd loser who is particularly mean or upsetting and sometimes you have to take the things people say with pinch of salt which may not nessesarily be helpful to someone who is struggling.

I am a great MN fan and it has been brilliant in this my first pregnancy and I know that I will be coming back to it once my child is born but as a healthcare professional I would be hesitant to recommened it professionally to mums to be - but thats just me.

duchesse · 22/08/2011 15:10

I guess to retain impartiality they could suggest online fora for support without specifying which particular ones. Obviously that means that some people may inadvertently stray onto the wrong ones...

iamaLeafontheWind · 22/08/2011 15:10

My HV recommends netmums! Has pamphlets & everything.

notcitrus · 22/08/2011 15:13

They have leaflets for netmums in our children's centre.
I tried it but have an aversion to pink, flashing things and Comic Sans as well as to txtlolspk, so it didn't help.

GP advises use of the net a lot, starting with NHS websites

littlebluespring · 22/08/2011 15:14

I wouldn't recommend MN to new mums. It can be harsh and a some of the personal advice is really mean.

summertimeblews · 22/08/2011 15:15

why would they? what when sillydufferfromglasgow suggests hanging your newborn up by the ankles for a couple of hours a day and you go and try it. Professional then gets sued by daftmuppetwithnosense for telling her to get advice from here

Purplebuns · 22/08/2011 15:17

My HV recommended MN childcare section to me, I was already on here by then though :)

BabeRuthless · 22/08/2011 15:17

My HV suggested Netmums to me, possibly concerned about all the fucking swearing that happens over here. To be fair, if I hadn't have known about Netmums I wouldnt have found about this place.

StrandedBear · 22/08/2011 15:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WidowWadman · 22/08/2011 15:22

I think Mumsnet are getting enough coverage in the media, and there are plenty of parenting forums around anyway, which can be found by google. I'd actually would find it a bit off if midwives and health visitors would push one specific parenting site to their clients.

Mumsnet is a private business and doesn't need nor should get support through public services.

Recommending seeking out parenting websites in order to find other parents, support etc, is one thing. Recommending Mumsnet specifically another.

GetOrfMoiCarbsClaire · 22/08/2011 15:29

Why wouldn't you recommend MN to new mums? I think this plavce is invaluable and would have loved it to have existed when dd was a baby. i don't think MN is too harsh, most people are kindness itself.

HVs and midwifes recommend netmums, of all unspeakable places. My SIL told me. She knew I was the member of a parenting forum, didn't know which one it was, and said 'you don't go and speak to those berks in netmums do you?'.

GetOrfMoiCarbsClaire · 22/08/2011 15:31

God knows why HVs would recommend netmums, it is all 'feed bubs heinz strawberry desert at 2 months, mum knows best hun'

LineRunner · 22/08/2011 15:34

Agree with Benne81. Some of the boards are quite feisty.

worraliberty · 22/08/2011 15:39

I wouldn't recommened MN to new Mums at all

There are far too many varied opinions due to the different ages/backgrounds/beliefs of the posters here...I'm sure a new Mum would feel out of her depth.

Also, there are a few Billy Bullshitters that you just learn to spot...and then they name change, so a new Mum wouldn't even learn who to take with a pinch of salt and who not to.

Dillydaydreaming · 22/08/2011 15:40

Netmums gets recommended because there are flyers for it EVERYWHERE. I find them in New Birth packs sometimes when I go out as a HV. I don't actually say "ooh look, a flyer for NM they are great" but it stands to reason that if I bring the pack out and the flyer is there that a parent will see it as a recommendation from me.

SardineQueen · 22/08/2011 15:44

I recommend MN to all women I know who are pg, or have little one. I even did a thread on here for a friend about her older child.

Posters asking for advice on pg or new baby related stuff always but always get a friendly and useful response. I have never seen a thread with eg "I can't get my baby to latch on can anyone help" turn into a slanging match. The advice areas of this website are absolutely excellent.

fatlazymummy · 22/08/2011 15:51

It should only be recommended if other parenting websites are too.
In any case people that are interested in finding parenting forums are capable of using google to find them, then browsing through them. Many new parents aren't.

WidowWadman · 22/08/2011 15:53

"There are far too many varied opinions due to the different ages/backgrounds/beliefs of the posters here...I'm sure a new Mum would feel out of her depth."

Err, how long do you think one should have been a mother before they can cope with mumsnet?

porcamiseria · 22/08/2011 15:54

no no no NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

have you never seen somone vulnrebale getting shit kicked on here? I have

shudders

nickelbabe · 22/08/2011 15:55

i agree, really - especially because NM literature is all over the blinking place.

nickelbabe · 22/08/2011 16:00

worraliberty - i would recommend MN to anyone who was even thinking about TTC, personally.
I discovered it when I opened my shop, and it's been amazing to me since then.
I wouldn't have known where to start if i hadn't been here before TTCing - it gave me the confidence to try, and it gave me the support i needed, and it gave me the promise of support if things didn't go to plan.

it's invaluable to all women, (and lots of men too), not just new mums, and a source of friendships for many of us.

worraliberty · 22/08/2011 16:03

Err, how long do you think one should have been a mother before they can cope with mumsnet?

Dunno really...once they've gained a bit of confidence in themselves I suppose.

I can just imagine some poor mare being ripped to shreds and reduced to tears for choosing not to BF

SardineQueen · 22/08/2011 16:08

That is really really rare worra.

People who are looking for help and advice are treated gently IME.

People who are interested in conversation/debate, less so.

Which is fine.

aStarInStrangeways · 22/08/2011 16:13

worra, your post makes it sound like becoming a mother automatically robs women of all their confidence, intelligence and curiosity, as well as any previous experience they may have had of using internet fora.

worraliberty · 22/08/2011 16:13

I don't think it's rare at all. People are always banging on about BF/FF on this forum.

Even if they weren't having a go directly at the new Mother...it's still likely to make her feel like shit, especially during the first few months of little/no sleep.

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