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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

In thinking that HVs, Midwives, GPs, etc should 'suggest' MN?

95 replies

kevlarbrassiere · 22/08/2011 14:53

Met an old friend today for lunch.

I was updating her on my dc's and getting updated on hers.

She wanted to know how I had coped with the trials of my dc's issues, and I said that reading MN threads were a life saver.

When I originally discovered for myself that MN existed, I couldn't believe that all the doctors, midwives, etc., hadn't suggested parenting fora (forums?) to me as an informal 24 hour support.

AIBU to think that maybe they should suggest MN (and the others) to parents who are struggling, or lonely, etc.?

OP posts:

sniffy · 22/08/2011 22:29

NO way!

TittyBojangles · 22/08/2011 22:44

My HV asked if I had ever used Netmums as it is a great source of info , I a bit too firmly told her I was in the MN camp, having suddenly felt like I was being accused of treachery or something. She had apparently never heard of MN!

worraliberty · 22/08/2011 22:47

Why do I fucking hate the word fora so much?

I mean, it's just a word isn't it?

It's done nothing to me...and yet I want to kick the fuck out of it for being a snidey little pretentious knob headed twat of a word

PacificDogwood · 22/08/2011 22:51

Fora, fora, fora, fucking FORA

PS: I would never say 'fora' in RL, of course it's 'forums', but written down my school latin wants out

Ineedacleaneriamalazyslattern · 22/08/2011 22:59

My HV also recommends netmums.
She was recommending it to another mum at the clinic that was always there when I go for the bookstart freebies, toothbruses and sippy cups went with ds2 and I suggested the woman may prefer MN and the HV said "is that not the one that is all political though" and managed a cross between this face and a catsbum mouth.

It did lead me to asking the HV why she was recommending and condemning 2 sights she had never read and that doing that may me a bit silly as you have no idea what you are recommending to mums.

Mumcentreplus · 22/08/2011 23:10

I tend to think MN is for an established semi confident ,relaxed mum...not for the faint hearted..lets not dress this up..say the wrong thing on AIBU and you may be torn limb from limb..netmums is less confrontational...

LolaRennt · 23/08/2011 03:17

I remember one of my first threads was in pregnancy saying how excited I was about getting a baby doppler and I got biscuited and a load of abuse from two posters for no reason. Then they accused me of trying to sell them to mumsnetters even though I never mentioned a brand or a shop

I was really upset as I had so many troubles with my last pregnancy from start to finish and was so happy to shout about hearing baby's hb- it genuinely made me cry. I was hormonal and being silly, yes it is all words on the screen but I have noticed people being nastier on this site than on others.

I find if I am I am up for a bunfight or a chat or an AIBU nothing is better than mumsnet it does seem to have a higher IQ than some sites, but for things that really matter medical info etc I feel it lets you down and there are other better sites. I think women suffering with depression (and a postnatal woman looking for support seems likely to be in that category) this is not a great place to get started

LolaRennt · 23/08/2011 03:19

worraliberty

fora needs a punch in the face

Cheria · 23/08/2011 07:23

MN can be a bit Malory Towers - esque, bitchslapping (now edited out) and all. You have to be tough to take the shit that can be thrown at you, but they can be very supportive too.

Other forums are hysterical for some things (freaking out over a dog licking a baby's hand for example) but not quite as "pull yourself together" as MN can be.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 23/08/2011 07:42

I went into my GP when dd was 11 weeks old. I was in bits with undiagnosed (at that point) PND. On the advice of some mnetters I has printed out a thread I'd started laying out how I felt as I had been unable to tell the gp when she asked.

She was absolutely delighted I was using mn and said she would have recommended it to me if I wasn't already here.

Mitmoo · 23/08/2011 08:02

I dont think professionals should be recommending websites. Could you just imagine being a new mum, come of to AIBU for advice and getting mawled complete with c&* and Tw* kind of language.

No professionals should not be recommending this site. It can be really useful and there are some fantastic posters on here, there are many nutjobs too.

LadyFlumpalot · 23/08/2011 08:18

I found Mumsnet because of the leaflets in our Surestart centre. It was a mix of one liners from posts put together to look like a running conversation. I can't remember the lines, but I do remember it made me laugh and as a new, scared mum in the depths of PND, family turmoil and financial stress a giggle was just what I needed.

I have only ever had a kicking when I have been a twat, and only a mild kicking at that. I also feel that posting here has actually helped my confidence as a mum in real life as well, certainly it has helped me stand up for my beliefs.

So yes, I would say recommend Mumsnet to new mums!

Whatmeworry · 23/08/2011 09:03

I think chat groups overall are a good idea, but MN is quite robust, so some people are probably better off at NM.

Also I don't think it's a substitute for real advice, especially in areas where there are strong views (eg last night a post - now pulled afaics - where HV suggests less bf to 7 mo. Cue pages of MNers calling the HV a twat, saying report her etc. May even have been right, but using a chat forum diagnosis instead is a risky line to tread)

usingapseudonym · 23/08/2011 10:06

Our HV recommended netmums simply for the local site. It was fantastic in terms of finding out local information - separate pages for playgroups/ music groups/ drama/sensory groups/ etc etc. I found it invaluable in a new area to be able to access reviews about local swimming pools, all the local playgroups etc. Never got on with their forums but having moved again still use the site for local information.

I can see why it would get recommended in that instance - its a wealth of local information!

PacificDogwood · 23/08/2011 17:23

As a rule, you wouldn't to on AIBU for support/advice though, would you?
Or you shouldn't anyway .

I often don't post on threads along the lines of "My baby has a temperature of 104, what should I do?" when a bunch of people have alread said "Go, see a dr, you silly bint". I really don't understand why you'd go on any forum if you have an acute worry for your child's health.
More chronic conditions I think MN is quite good for.

Netmums seems to be good for flogging stuff locally, I am told (not organised enough to put any crap baby stuff on any site/ebay/local paper).

And while I don't think that the old chestnut 'only words on a screen' holds true for someone who is down and vulnerable and in need of support rather than a telling off, I don't understand why people sometimes seem to fail to know where the 'off' switch is.

Glitterknickaz · 23/08/2011 17:27

No way.
People in a vulnerable place do not need the shit kicking out of them.

duchesse · 25/08/2011 12:05

I have never seen people in a vulnerable place getting the shit kicked out of them on here. I have seen people start attention-seeking threads on AIBU getting a pasting, especially ones in which they drip-feed information, contradict themselves and react angrily when people say they think they are being unreasonable.

People in genuine need are treated sensitively, with a great deal of compassion, information and common sense.

Glitterknickaz · 25/08/2011 12:18

People do get a shit kicking on here. Mainly because they don't know the ridiculous 'unwritten rules' ie drip feeding. People are not mind readers.

I went to Bounty because of the high level of advertising whilst in hospital. I ran for the hills about four years ago.

Melly20MummyToPoppy · 25/08/2011 12:23

I am going to confess. I have never told anyone this, but I only joined this site by accident I was actually looking for netmums. But I couldn't remember if it was mumsnet or netmums. So I googled MN first and this came up. I joined thinking "there can't be 2 parenting sites with almost the same name!" i'm glad I did make that mistake though. I like it here.

And FWIW, aswell as 'fora', the word 'hun' needs a bloody punch in the face. That word really makes my teeth itch

nickelbabe · 25/08/2011 12:33

Melly - I did a similar thing.
I went onto NM to post about my storytimes, a bit of "what's on" info. then for some reason I started getting emails from MN (must have googled it somehow), and I followed one of the links.
took me a little while to get into it here (mainly because I wasn't used to fora where you're allowed to swear!), but once I got into the swing of it, I couldn't leave.

and i never did use NM apart from the sdvertising (couldn't find my way around the coffehouse and that just annoyed me)

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