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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To dislike school sports day

59 replies

lovesicecream · 22/07/2011 13:38

they now do sports day in teams so that children don't come last, my kids have never been good at sports but for some kids it's what they are best at, what is wrong with children learning you can't win everything?

OP posts:
DoMeDon · 22/07/2011 14:53

YANBU - I see little point in it if noone can win. FWIW I was shit at sport but it's great for the DC who don;t excel in other areas. Having said that even academic DC are being sidelined now. It's all gold stars for sitting in a chair nicely or attendance instead of top marks for maths/spelling. All this 'try your best' is a bit hit and miss if your best is NEVER rewarded.

robingood19 · 22/07/2011 14:55

its okay competition is selfish

catgirl1976 · 22/07/2011 15:14

I can't get my head round this "new sports day" mentality. Children need to learn to lose, they need to learn to cope with dissapointment, they need to learn that they are not good at everything and they also need to learn how to win and win graciously. The world is competitive - they should be prepared for it, not shielded.

TiaMariaandDietCoke · 22/07/2011 15:26

totally agree with catgirl - winning, losing and coming somewhere inbetween is part of life

when you have small children asking why they got a medal when they didn't win, surely that shows the approach doesn't work anyway? friends DS came close to last in a sports day race and was asking why they were racing if everyone got the same prize anyway...out of the mouths of babes and all that!!!

Original poster
lovesicecream · 22/07/2011 15:53

Don't understand it, my ds 1 always came last, he didn't even notice and it certainly didn't damage his self esteem ! Just think it's sad for those children who only realy excel at sports, they have spelling, times tables, art and the best story competitions why not sports? Don't understand why competition is selfish either? We all compete, college, university places, jobs it's just part of life!

OP posts:
Kladdkaka · 22/07/2011 15:58

I never attended sports days, neither did my daughter. It upset her too much so was easier to just keep her home.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 22/07/2011 15:59

Absolutely agree with you OP. I think sports' day is pretty much nonsense now, it's not teaching anything useful.

Competition is normal and it's essential to learn, as much as good sportsmanship and camaraderie.

We're going to hell in a handcart... but we'll all get there at the same time and we'll all get a 'prize' and a 'clap'... Hmm

ddubsgirl · 22/07/2011 16:04

yep and then they have the shock of a normal sports day at high school!

Original poster
lovesicecream · 22/07/2011 16:13

Or they have to deal with the shock of not winning at something else they want, you can't stop them doing everything just because they get upset if they loose

OP posts:
Original poster
lovesicecream · 22/07/2011 16:15

And it's so boring as well! There are 8 teams of 10 odd children all doing different things at once, pretty distracting!

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worraliberty · 22/07/2011 16:16

Yep, no winners..no losers and everyone is just as good as everyone else Hmm

billynomatesmum · 22/07/2011 16:21

As the mother of a child who is very poor at sports I'm still all for competitive sports days.

Children who are good at sports should be allowed to demonstrate their prowess.

The Olympics has team scores (medal tallies) but individual events.

Children can be allocated to a team so that even those who come last in their particular race(s) still have a chance to be on the winning team overall.

I have an eve of sportsday chat about it not mattering one jot if the dc come last, not everyone can win and someone has to be last etc etc.

Kladdkaka · 22/07/2011 16:22

I didn't stop my daughter doing sports day because she was upset that she came last. I stopped her because she was extremely distressed at having to do things which highlighted her differences and humiliated her in front of the entire school and their families.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 22/07/2011 16:33

Well that's what's wrong with sports days nowadays; kids being mollycoddled and prevented from being 'last'. There's no humiliation in that, Kladdkaka. Where is the shame in being last at something? Somebody has to be. It's good for children to learn that they might be last at something and do better at something else where somebody else will be last. It spurs children on to do better, improve and even if they're never first at anything, they've striven to do something and they've done their very best.

Kids that don't learn that will miss a really important lesson, in my opinion anyway.

worraliberty · 22/07/2011 16:35

Being last at something makes them appreciate coming 1st, 2nd or 3rd in something else...be it sports or academic stuff.

NearlyHeadlessnickelbabe · 22/07/2011 16:39

I agree with you, OP - it's ridiculous that all children should win just in case they get upset.
what bollocks! Angry

I was bloody rubbish at sports (would far sooner not join in! Grin )
I only ever got a medla in one race at junior school - the skipping race where there were only 3 of us in it! Grin
i was so proud, but i never hide the fact that I was 3rd out of 3.

in place of this sporting achievement, I always got 10 out of 10 in spelling and times tables tests, so I know which I'd prefer.
It didn't stop me joining in stuff, but it helped me learn that everyone is good at something

It hasn't made me a sport-hating grown-up - it's helped me be a rounded individual, and I do exercise now, just not competitively (and not races!)

Adversecamber · 22/07/2011 16:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kladdkaka · 22/07/2011 16:40

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe come back and say that to me again when your child has ended up in hospital having attempted suicide because death is preferable to sports day.

worraliberty · 22/07/2011 16:42

And you didn't mention that little point in your first post Kladdkaka? Confused

Adversecamber · 22/07/2011 16:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NearlyHeadlessnickelbabe · 22/07/2011 16:43

Kladd - if it hadn't been that, it'd have been something else - when I was 16, I self-harmed (not as far as attempted suicide - too much of a wimp for that...), quite a lot.
it doesn't mean that I should have been pandered to for it - it's important for children and young adults to know what their strengths are, and sometimes that means embracing their weaknesses too.
It doesn't make her any less of a person, and it really isn't a good plan to keep coming to her rescue if she reacts badly to not being able to do something.

NearlyHeadlessnickelbabe · 22/07/2011 16:45

and you want to talk humiliation?
I was bullied by so many people at school that even people in other years knew that I was "the one that was bullied"

yes, school fucking sucks, but you get over it if you have the encouragement to become an adult, and that means having to do things that you're afraid of, and do things that you're fucking crap at.

Pulling a child out of something just because they havea depression is the worst way to get them to learn how the world works.
sorry, I know it must have been horrible for you as a parent, but you weren't doing your DD any favours.

Pakdooik · 22/07/2011 16:47

My son's primary school had the ideal compromise. Sports day was four teams in a competition but the competition was around totals e.g. netball goals scored so that everyone could contribute. So the kids learnt about winning and losing but even the non-athletic could chip in.

The school also had the usual football, netball, rugby, athletics teams

Original poster
lovesicecream · 22/07/2011 16:58

Adverse that reminded me of when i was 14 , I was really got at shot put and discus always came first, one year someone had dropped out of the cross country so they stuck me in and I came last out of hundreds!! Didn't harm me long term though

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LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 22/07/2011 16:58

Kladdkaka... I'm sorry that your daughter was in hospital because of sports day, you didn't mention that in your post, but I still stand by my comments. I think there is obviously something more pressing than the events of that one day that led to your daughter's illness, which obviously happened long before sports day.