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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To dislike school sports day

59 replies

lovesicecream · 22/07/2011 13:38

they now do sports day in teams so that children don't come last, my kids have never been good at sports but for some kids it's what they are best at, what is wrong with children learning you can't win everything?

OP posts:

Milngavie · 22/07/2011 17:05

I loathe and detest our primary school sports day. It is great for the children who are good at sports, but for the rest it is a waste of time.

Back when I was of primary age each class did 2 or 3 races each and that was it. My DC's school do heats for each event and it takes all afternoon. If a child doesn't place in the top 6 in the first heat that is it for them, they spend the afternoon on the sidelines.

There can be 3 or 4 events per year group and it's 3 heats per event. Very tedious indeed.

Andrewofgg · 22/07/2011 17:08

The purpose of compulsory games is not to make children fit; it is to make them crafty and resourceful so that they can find ways of dodging them. I found ways to disappear immediately after sports day began and took no part; and got away with it. DS liked sports day (a bit disappointing for me, but you can't have everything) and I was happy to go.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 22/07/2011 17:10

What about cheering on the rest of their school mates who are still competing, Milngavie? I accept it might be a bit boring but that's how it is. If kids don't learn teamsmanship and sportsmanship at primary school then when? Sometimes it's just not about the individual child...

I really wonder what the fuss was about for the Olympics tickets...

Kladdkaka · 22/07/2011 17:10

worraliberty I didn't mention it because I didn't think it was necessary. I didn't expect people to jump on me for what I did say. Plus it appears from NearlyHeadlessnickelbabe's response that it wouldn't have made any difference anyway. I can only assume by that response that she hasn't read any of my other posts which have said how my daughter is autistic and her consultant recommended pulling her out of PE lessons entirely. And even if she hadn't, that response is so lacking in compassion it beggars belief.

TheCrackFox · 22/07/2011 17:11

Is there actual any evidence that team sports at school makes for better team players at work in later years?

Kladdkaka · 22/07/2011 17:14

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe The pressing issue was that as an autistic child, she just couldn't cope with being on show in that way.

Andrewofgg · 22/07/2011 17:16

How could there be? There are too many other variables. But in any event: there is no reason to think team sports are more successful than team chess or playing in the orchestra. Being half-dressed in the cold and the mud achieves nothing of value in itself.

Milngavie · 22/07/2011 17:17

Lyin of course they cheer on their class mates but last year it was a bloody freezing day and the children that were all ready out of the heats were practically blue sitting there in shorts. It got so bad parents were eventually allowed to take these children home as they were so cold.

Eventually idea of cheering wears off and the children, especially the younger ones, get bored.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 22/07/2011 17:20

Kladdkaka... Would it not have been better that the consultant's advice was followed? Surely the better idea would have been for your daughter to attend sports' day to cheer on her classmates rather than as a competitor?

You didn't mention that your daughter was autistic, nor can you expect posters to know all the details that you've posted about previously. That's really unrealistic.

I think NearlyHeadlessnickelbabe's posts were really poignant and relevant and I really agree with them but again, how would you expect her to know your background?

This thread obviously has upset you but it's your choice to post on it and read it. Nobody has been mean or jumped on you in any way.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 22/07/2011 17:23

Milngavie... I know, it is boring for little kids. Sports day always used to be in the Summer when I was young but I guess with the weather as it is, any day during the Summer months could be chosen with Winter weather results.

TheCrackFox · 22/07/2011 17:23

When it was sports day at high school I just went home.

I didn't expect people to cheer me on when writing an essay or painting a picture. Why should sporty types be the only ones to get adulation?

Original poster

lovesicecream · 22/07/2011 17:25

Klad all you said was I've never attended sports days and neither has my daughter, you must have known that people might question that ?

If you'd said my child has autism or sn and sports day is to traumatic for her no one would have questioned it

OP posts:

Esta3GG · 22/07/2011 17:25

For some kids sports day is just a very conspicuous way to fail at something you hate. Well it was for me.

Kladdkaka · 22/07/2011 17:33

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe I'm autistic myself. I've said this before but realise not everyone sees or remembers previous posts. What that means for me is that I sometimes have difficulty filtering the information in my head. Sometimes I give too much information and sometimes I don't give enough. It's not that I'm being unrealistic, it's that I can't always judge where the balance is.

As for following the consultant's advice, my daughter wasn't diagnosed until she was 15. Until then her schools always tried to force her into doing things she wasn't able to do. They refused to believe that there was anything wrong with her. It's a common problem with autistic girls and why most don't ever get a diagnosis so struggle through unsupported. We moved abroad when she was 14 and in her first week at school they said they thought she was autistic. Since then she has had PE lessons on her own with just the teacher and is allowed to watch and cheer at sports days, although she usually spends it sorting books in the library as the noise it too much for her.

emmanumber3 · 22/07/2011 17:35

DS2 hates the new style "team games" sports days as sport is his thing. He's never top of the class in anything else (somewhere in the middle) & loved the fact that he actually stood a good chance of winning a race or two on sports day.

DS1 however is the total opposite. Never sporty, never stood a chance on sports day - but, is regularly winning certificates & awards for his academic work.

Personally, I think it's nice for the children who are more sporty than academic to have a chance to experience winning for a change. I do feel sorry for the children who go through school receiving no awards at all, which is why I also agree with the "good book" awards at DS2's school where it is perfectly possible to get a certificate for sitting still all week (if that is a challenge for your DC) or similar seemingly minor triumphs - although I am aware that most parents seem to think the whole idea stupid .

NearlyHeadlessnickelbabe · 22/07/2011 17:35

Klad - i didn't know that your DD was autistic.
and you're wrong in your assumption that it wouldn't have made a difference to my response.
I am NT, so my situation is different from your DD's, even if the reaction is the same.

If you had put "I didn't stop my autistic daughter doing sports day because she was upset that she came last. I stopped her because she was extremely distressed at having to do things which highlighted her differences and humiliated her in front of the entire school and their families. (on recommendation from the Dr)", it would have made a huge difference to your post.
:(

NearlyHeadlessnickelbabe · 22/07/2011 17:36

(and I agree wit hLyingWitch - it would have been good for her to let her attend as a spectator - because then she's still joining in, just not on show)

NearlyHeadlessnickelbabe · 22/07/2011 17:38

(sorry, I didn't read the last post about the noise. )

Kladdkaka · 22/07/2011 17:41

lovesicecream I didn't just say that I've never attended sports day and neither has my daughter, I said it was because it upset her too much. And no, I didn't think people would question it, I thought saying it upset her too much would be enough. Obviously with hindsight it wasn't, so I gave more information to try and explain what I meant by 'it upset her too much'.

CurrySpice · 22/07/2011 17:46

I loathe it. I loathed it when I was at schhol

It's a chore every year

Signed
Miserable mommy of Essex

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 22/07/2011 17:47

Kladdkaka... I understand where you're coming from. I don't know, but I would think that it must be very difficult firstly waiting for a diagnosis and secondly, getting your daughter's school to understand her requirements based on where she is on the spectrum and what she's happy doing.

I wouldn't have commented as I did in my first post if I'd known. I stand by my comments as I really do think that but not for your daughter's position, for a child without conditions that would make it unfeasable for them.

There are some mothers (and I know at least four) who will pander to their children, write them excuse letters for PE for no reason other than that exercise 'makes them hot and uncomfortable' and they just 'can't be bothered'. I didn't know your circumstances and my first post was in that vein.

CurrySpice · 22/07/2011 17:48

I clearly didn't go to schhol enough as I can't spell

Kladdkaka · 22/07/2011 17:49

Everybody I'm really, really sorry that my ability to communicate information is rubbish. Honestly, I really am trying my best.

If you're ever really bored or having trouble dropping off to sleep, look at all my previous posts, they are so autistic. The ones that are about facts and information are factasticly fabulous, informative and to the point. The ones that are about conversation and exchange of ideas are a disaster and all over the place

Kladdkaka · 22/07/2011 17:53

On a happy note, I came second in the sack race when I was 5. That is the highlight of my sporting prowess. (Being in goal in lacrosse doesn't count because that's a case of stop the ball or die.)

Original poster

lovesicecream · 22/07/2011 18:09

I once got stuck in the bench things we had to crawl through, I was an early developer and my boobs were to big to fit, now that was quite embarrassing

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