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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to refuse to buy the 3DS for DSS?

64 replies

travispickles · 09/07/2011 14:25

We promised DSS the 3DS if he got level 5s in both his SATS. He got 5B in maths but 4A/B in English and has reminded us about it. But I don't think he should get it because he didn't get the 5 in both. AIBU? Or should he be offered something else that is considerably less expensive to reward the Maths level 5?

OP posts:
worraliberty · 09/07/2011 14:29

YABU to put this kind of pressure on him in the first place ffs.

tallulahxhunny · 09/07/2011 14:30

is there much difference between the 4 & the 5? sorry i have no idea. But I wouldnt buy the 3ds anyway, apparently its not as good as it seems and the normal Dsi is better.

EveryonesJealousOfWeasleys · 09/07/2011 14:30

This is why I think effort should maybe be rewarded rather than results. You shouldn't buy it for him now theoretically because he hasn't achieved what you wanted him to - but does he still deserve it due to his hard work?

EveryonesJealousOfWeasleys · 09/07/2011 14:31

Oh yes and geeky DH says they are meant to be rubbish, the 3D effect makes people feel ill so in practise nobody actually uses it!

ddubsgirl · 09/07/2011 14:31

i wouldnt buy it as they are linked to cause really bad headaches 4a/b is a good mark.

FannyFifer · 09/07/2011 14:32

Bloody hell, how old is he?

Having played a 3ds, my children won't be getting one as it gave me a headache and it was an awful strain on my eyes. This was after only playing for 10 mins.

tallulahxhunny · 09/07/2011 14:32

I do think you should get him something though

Jaquelinehyde · 09/07/2011 14:33

I can't believed you made this kind of deal with him in the first place!! How stupid.

If I were you I would backtrack as much as possible, tell him he can have the 3DS but not because of his SATS results but because he has worked hard all year and done the best he can.

What a bloody stupid thing to do!

FabbyChic · 09/07/2011 14:34

I think you are being extremely horrible, thats a disgusting pressure to put on a child, what if they were not remotely capable of getting the grades? Some children are only as good as their teachers you know.

I think you should get the 3ds and be done with it.

People like you make me puke and have the kind of children who go suicidal at GCSE's because of parent pressure.

DooinMeCleanin · 09/07/2011 14:34

Dd1 was desperate for one when they first came out, but since trying a friends has decided they are shite and she wants a moped instead Hmm.

I agree YABU to put so much pressure on him, poor kid. Buy him something, but not the 3DS.

Jaquelinehyde · 09/07/2011 14:34

Oh and off the point but I agree the 3DS are crap!

valiumredhead · 09/07/2011 14:36

I agree Fabby - effort should be rewarded not results imo.

They are crap anyway - gave me a head ache and made me dizzy after a few minutes, no way would I want my ds playing on one!

Original poster
travispickles · 09/07/2011 14:39

Brilliant - thanks all :)

OP posts:
RubberDuck · 09/07/2011 14:39

The english papers were badly marked this year, it's been in the news. Loads of schools are asking them to be remarked because kids who should have easily got 5s got much lower marks. So even setting aside the whole issue of you being a muppet making the reward conditional on scores, he may well have earned the 5 anyway just not awarded the grade because of the bad marking this year.

tallulahxhunny · 09/07/2011 14:40

fabby, do you really think there was a need for that outburst? so she made a deal with her child, it may have been a lot of pressure but sometimes that is what some kids need to knuckle down, take a chill pill, you are totally over-reacting

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 09/07/2011 14:42

No because the 3ds is rubbish, probably why the price has come crashing down

Maryz · 09/07/2011 14:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

squeakytoy · 09/07/2011 14:44

So long as you know he worked to the best of his ability, then you are being highly unfair to put pressure on him to achieve beyond his capabilities.

If what he has attained is the best he could do, then he deserves the reward, but I dont agree with retracting something unless you know he could have done better by trying harder.

viewfromawindow · 09/07/2011 14:44

Well we have a 3Ds and LOVE it! But I agree that you should reward effort not attainment. Also putting this sort of pressure on ks2 sats I think is unwise. Our local secondary schools do their own testing to stream the kids so a 4a vs level 5 makes no difference.

FabbyChic · 09/07/2011 14:46

YOu only ever ask your child to do their best, you do not try to bribe them to get results that they may not be capable of so you then make them feel a failure.

its pathetic.

Mamateur · 09/07/2011 14:46

I don't think there's anything wrong with offering incentives like this, it can be very useful. It's not ideal because really they should work towards a goal for the sake of a goal, but it is actually what many adults do for the rest of their working life.

We have a child in Y8 who does very little work but has quite a lot of natural ability. Not enough natural ability though, to pass everything without working, so I offer him an incentive if he gets 5 and 6 grades.

The school supports us in this.

valiumredhead · 09/07/2011 14:48

Blimey! I have agreed with fabby TWICE on this thread - gotta be a first Wink

High five's fabby! Grin

worraliberty · 09/07/2011 14:52

I often agree with Fabby...just not the permanently angry way she puts things.

In my mind, she looks like this Grin

s106.photobucket.com/albums/m269/LedZep2147/?action=view&current=image001.gif&newest=1

Maryz · 09/07/2011 14:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PonceyMcPonce · 09/07/2011 14:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.