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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I in the wrong here?

66 replies

redrollers · 02/07/2011 17:25

So we just get back from hols this morning,all very tired, and I am feeling particularly shit because I think I have throat infection. But I managed to get DS out of the car and into bed, and 3 suitcases out of the car. DH put on half a load of his own clothes into the washing machine

Anyway DH just asked could he take my phone out of the charger, because he was going out, his was dead. So an hour later, he starts screaming and shouting because it wasn't actually turned on.
Now I can understand it's a bit of a pain in the arse, but is it my fault?

TBH, there is a bigger story and I actually think he's lost the plot.

I had also booked a cab for him and he had a fit because it took me one minute to tell him that the cab was outside after they sent a text message.
He's gone off ranting, and now sending me messages about how I'm not sick, basically accusing me of lying because I didn't want to go out tonight.

OP posts:
BooBooGlass · 02/07/2011 17:29

WHat a dick

bubblesincoffee · 02/07/2011 17:30

I think you are right about there being a bigger story!

Holidays can be hard for some families, what with having to fit in with everyone else the whole time. How was the holiday?

Sarsaparilllla · 02/07/2011 17:30

He's being a freak

PamBeesly · 02/07/2011 17:30

He BU, what the f is wrong with him??

Mabelface · 02/07/2011 17:37

Tell him to come back when he's finished acting like a 4 year old.

Original poster
redrollers · 02/07/2011 17:59

Holiday had it's good moments, but we had a fundamental problem that ds got on his nerves.
He can't relax or chill out and ds's behaviour can be a bit tiresome( nothing major) and he has a real lack of patience. He also can't seem to function as a family. i.e do things for other people.
E.g. We come back to the apt one day, ds is dripping wet, getting cold(ac) needs clothes and lunch and entertaining so he doesn't annoy dh. In the middle of me doing lunch, he is trying to phone room service for himself, check phone, emails and facebook, and then makes a cheese toastie in a pan, leaves it, gets annoyed when I burn it, throws his blackberry.
Oh and then tells me that it's his work that paid for the holiday!

And god forbid I should point out that I might have a bit of a complaint here, that he might be being a tad unreasonable.
No,he cannot take any criticism
He can't see for one second that he might be in the wrong, who thinks like that.

And god forbid I should

OP posts:
PamBeesly · 02/07/2011 18:39

Redrollers he is a very unreasonable, horrible man from the scenario you described, and clearly violent if he throws his blackerry, he has quite a temper, your ds is a child, and should be allowed be a child, and shouldn't have to worry about getting on his fathers nerves. I'm very sorry for you, you have a lot to put up with, he should not be allowed to continue like this. He is so selfish that he doesn't care that he makes a situation tense for you and ds. I hope you find the strength to stand up to him because the way he is now, he doesn't derserve the family life he has.

glassescase · 02/07/2011 18:42

Doesn't sound like he wanted to be on holiday, and now he is off out the minute you get back. Selfish, IMO.

Sirzy · 02/07/2011 18:43

You are certainly not in the wrong.

iMemoo · 02/07/2011 18:46

Is he Ds's dad?

tazmin · 02/07/2011 18:46

how old is the child

ENormaSnob · 02/07/2011 18:47

He is a cunt

molemesseskilledIpom · 02/07/2011 18:48

Jesus Christ.

He sounds vile, bad tempered, untrustworthy around ds, selfish, childish and treats you like shit. Blaming you for not switching the charger on? Come on, get a grip.

I'm sure there is something much bigger than this, but you are definatly not in the wrong here.

AgentZigzag · 02/07/2011 18:48

How horrible for you to have to constantly try to keep your DS amused and away from his own dad for fear of annoying him.

YANBU.

Sounds like the man has had too much done for him over the years and thinks he's now entitled to it.

Don't take responsibility for his shitty behaviour, or play along with his tantrums.

I really feel for you, you sound trapped.

JamieAgain · 02/07/2011 18:49

He's obviously behaving in a really selfish unreasonable manner. How long has he been like this? It sounds as if he's simmering with anger. If it's fairly new behaviour he may be depressed (anger can be the first sign), but whatever, he needs to talk to you about what his problem is like an adult.

exaspomum · 02/07/2011 18:50

Might he have asperger's with his inability to take other people into account?

Jaspants · 02/07/2011 18:50

You are not in the wrong but I think you know that

ivykaty44 · 02/07/2011 18:51

I would say that he really should have thought about getting together with a woman with a child before this - but I take it this is his own child?

Communication on a very large scale is needed and some harsh facts about children are for life not just when you like bits [sorry]

Tortington · 02/07/2011 18:52

you need to shit under his pillow love

then the miserable cunt cn complain about something tangible

TheOriginalFAB · 02/07/2011 18:52

He is a prick and he needs to be taken down a peg or ten.

BrianAndHisBalls · 02/07/2011 18:55

In his defence, if he has a very stressful job then I can sort of understand him wanting you to keep the dc quiet while he checks (work) email. I have to work in the evenings sometimes and I find it very stressful trying to work while the dc are around and it makes me very snappy because I feel pulled in two directions and guilty for both having to ignore my dc and guilty for not giving work my 'full attention'.

If it was stuff like facebook/normal email then he should get a life.

AgentZigzag · 02/07/2011 19:01

What about him blaming redrollers when he didn't check the phone charger was on Brian?

Stress from work can cross over into homelife, but if it's at this level then something's going to have to give.

When you say you think he's lost the plot redrollers, has he suddenly got worse recently?

I wouldn't blame you not wanting to go out with him tonight, hardly a fun evening.

tazmin · 02/07/2011 19:06

wonder if there is another woman on the scene

AgentZigzag · 02/07/2011 19:08

Wow, major reading between the lines tazmin, what makes you think that?

Omigawd · 02/07/2011 19:08

I suspect there is more to it here though, this sounds like one very frustrated guy - is DS his btw?