Trolls and emotional leeches

[LoopyLoopsBettyBoops]

Why do they do it? I just don't get it. Recent trolly threads about tokophobia (particularly the stillbirth one) have been really distressing for a lot of people. Why would you want that? I just don't get it.

I haven't seen that..but it sounds sick if it's a troll doing it.

Sorry, this was probably a bad idea for a thread, but I really can't understand the mindset of someone who would troll, apart from maybe for comedy reasons (ie. a regular on a forum winding people up perhaps?)

Most trolls on MN (or maybe just the ones who get found out?) seem to choose a vulnerable set of people to pick on, and really leech traumatic stories out of people. Is this a recognised disorder perhaps? Why? Why why why...?

oh no, really?

that's very, very sick.

I just think some people have mental health issues. They do need help but not always for the subject they're posting about.

There is a recurring theme with trolls to go for the subjects of miscarriage, stillbirth and death of children because they have the biggest emotional impact and makes it harder for other users to question them.

I can't tell whether the current resident troll is just using CS as a high impact, divisive subject, knowing it's like BF/FF, SAHM/WOHM - one of those things where some people get a choice and circumstances force people the other way, by demanding what many see as the 'wrong' choice it's a guaranteed wind up. I suppose it is possible it's someone with a genuine fear of giving birth or who feels scarred by the birth they had but I'm not 100% convinced it's even a woman.

Yes, mental health issues must be the key.

I suppose the internet has opened up whole new world of odd behavioural possibilities. Sad, really.

And why don't MNHQ sort it out?

Has anyone reported the latest one, by the way? I didn't want to read it all once it was clear it was the same one back again.

I think it's pretty hard for MNHQ to be certain, if a poster uses multiple accounts and not just namechanging it's probably very hard to prove. I'm not sure what was going on with the stillbirth thread, if it was genuine (or suspected genuine) then the trollhunting posts should have been deleted, if it was of dubious veracity the whole thread should have gone. There was good advice from some people on there but overall the whole tone of the thread would be more traumatic than helpful to anyone facing that situation.

What happens when you report? I imagine a little old lady at a desk pressing the delete key. !? We had none of that chat in our day etc.
Agree the troll is rotten and far to obvious. Def mental health issues...

Which threads are you talking about? If it's not too indiscreet to ask.

PMed you BOF.

Do you know what I thought? (old cynic, me) The disgusting poster who was completely self absorbed (and who offended so many people on the still birth one) - reading her posting style on other threads, I think they are some sort of sick individual who is getting some sort of perverse pleasure.
Sorry to be brutal, but her (or his) threads dwelled on so many graphic details about childbirth and a woman's reproductive organs, that I really really fear it was some sort of sicko.
Sorry to mention it.
There is NO WAY that was one woman supporting another woman through the distress of a stillbirth.
And, yes, why don't MNHQ sort it out?

pelvicfloorofsteel

agreed.

It's not just those that are dealing with the awfulness of a stillbirth, but also the many pregnant women (me included a little while ago) who check that board and imagine all sorts of problems etc. I remember feeling very vulnerable in the latter stages of my pregnancy and that thread would have terrified me.

as or tracking trolls - you can track IPs and multi IP users as well, but there's so little MN can do except continual bans/removals. even if they track down the trolls ISP, it's rare the ISP bothers to do anything, unless the troll has been acting illegally.

i try and think of them as shouty hecklers. best ignored.

i stupidly rose to the bait of one recently. next time, i'll engage brain before wasting my time.

Te problem I have is that it is always this kind of subject that I can't walk away from. When it's something quite specific that you have gone through, it's really hard to step back and ignore. So, if they chose a less emotional subject, people might drop out of the thread when they realised something fishy was going on, rather than try and make something good come out of it.

Does that make sense?

It's not immediate in my mind, because for me it was a long time ago and well before I joined MN. But I do remember being freaked out at the end of my pregnancy being on a ward briefly with women in induced pre-labour. It terrified me. So I can imagine how awful it must be to read of scary problematic stuff when you are pregnant yourself, yet be oddly compelling.

I guess that's the sort of attention they thrive on

Can I just mention here the poster who pops up about once a week under a name-change and posts about young boys and their willies?

Always a similar story, they're a parent who's concerned about their DS (who is always very young), experimenting with his penis/kissing a friends penis/showing penis off.

They never seem to post under the same name again, then a few days later a very similar thread will come up in the same posting style.

Utterly creepy.

Really? I've never noticed that. But I have most child-related stuff hidden, and the health topics Sounds like there is a world of trolls out there!

Yes that stillbirth thread was hideous. I'm amazed it lasted so long.

I'm going into hospital tomorrow for ARM with a cs in the afternoon if it doesn't work, and it was a total car-crash thread for me. Couldn't stop reading it even though it made me feel shit.

Bloody trolls. I only like the funny ones.

Good luck with your birth experience Tola. Hope it all goes well for you.

That's an example of what really upsets, disturbs and angers me about trolls, and this one in particular, is that well-meaning, reasonable women can come on and be totally upset by the thread, and it isn't what MN is all about.

Hope you have some lovely news for us soon!

trolls look for a reaction, the more outraged the better

you are better off completely ignoring what they say, however difficult, then they have no material to work with

Well my DH is of the opinion that the internet has given a voice to very many people who wouldn't have had one without it.

In some cases, that is a very good thing. In other cases, it isn't.

Good luck tolalola.

I completely agree with JudysJudgement, the trolls and even some regulars who have an axe to grind, love a reaction. If we don't give it to them, they're finished.

I know it's sometimes tempting to earnestly and with the best of intentions, argue your case with them, so that the 'truth is out there'. I don't think that works really but it does give the troll an awful lot of personal information about you so that they know just how to press your buttons at a later date. :(

Self-preservation is what I live by on MN. I don't post anything I wouldn't mind my worst enemy knowing.

Which thread is it? I've not seen it.