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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to ask our childminder to abide by some basic TV guidelines?

59 replies

monkeymiss · 21/06/2011 19:16

eg just cbeebies and age-appropriate DVDs (eg Peppa Pig). No films or Internet, and no more than 30 minutes a day?

DD is 3.

There have been a few things recently that I would not have been happy for her to watch.

I subsequently asked CM verbally first if she would restrict telly watching to cbeebies, but CM explained they had current issues with Sky. So I put a note in the diary but she has taken offence and says I should trust her judgements.

I appreciate where she is coming from, but we are DD's parents.

OP posts:
Goblinchild · 21/06/2011 19:18

Does she childmind for other children at the same time?

Original poster
monkeymiss · 21/06/2011 19:19

Yes. Two others who are two and three.

She also has a daughter of nine.

OP posts:
dontsweatthelittlethings · 21/06/2011 19:21

You are well within your rights to say what your daughter should/shouldn't be allowed to watch on tv and 30 minutes is enough considering you are paying the childminder, not the BBC, to look after your child. Stick to your guns, it's hard but otherwise it will just make you unhappy - believe me, I know!!

sims2fan · 21/06/2011 19:22

Trust her judgement? Surely as a childcare professional she shouldn't be allowing TV anyway. You wouldn't expect children to watch TV at a nursery, and childminders shouldn't have it on either, in my opinion.

PumpkinBones · 21/06/2011 19:24

I've had 2 CM's - one had no children of her own (very little TV) and one had 2 children of her own and they watched lots of TV. How firm a stand you want to take on this woud depend for me on how much time my DCspends there and whether the things she is watching are a matter of preference or genuinely inappropriate (EG I loathe Horrid Henry and DS doesn't watch it at home, but I let it slide when he was at CM's. He also used to watch some probably quite age- inappropriate stuff with her son on youtube (nothing dodgy!) and also watched him playing some computer gamesI wouldn't have allowed at home. Only you can judge how much of an issue this is for you though. Did you discuss TV at the outset, and make it clear what your expectations were?

Original poster
monkeymiss · 21/06/2011 19:25

Thank you dontsweat. Her youngest mindee wasn't allowed to watch any TV until recently, which CM was happy to work around.

@Goblin, yes if she had older mindee children I think it would be an unreasonable request as it wouldn't be possible to balance all the mindee children's needs. But they are all a similar age, and I don't think the parents of the other two (who I know well) would object to this policy being in force when their children were at CM with my DD.

OP posts:
InNeedOfCoffee · 21/06/2011 19:26

Thats not really fair on her daughter who may want to unwind after school and watch cbbc or citv, however tv should not be on constantly in the day.

Original poster
monkeymiss · 21/06/2011 19:28

Pumpkin, we never discussed it at first. DD's been there two years. We've just taken a suck it and see approach. CM has been great over the last two years. Just now DD is getting older, the time she spends at CM is arguably more influential on her than when she was a baby IYSWIM.

We've likewise accepted things at CM's which we wouldn't allow at home. All TV and food related. I wouldn't have wanted to have been too 'dictatorial' at the start - why create a fuss over issues that haven't arisen?

But I guess now we have an issue.

OP posts:
zipzap · 21/06/2011 19:29

Is it because her dd wants to have the tv on?

PumpkinBones · 21/06/2011 19:34

"All TV and food related" - I do know the feeling Grin

Apart from the amount of time your DD spends there - which would be a big factor for me - how much longer do you envisage her being there? Is it likely her hours will reduce to go to nursery / is the CM one you would like to keep liong term, ie still be using for school pickups etc? This is not to say you shouldn't be firm on this but obviously if your DD is there 2 mornings and in a year won't be there at all, that is very different to me to being there say three full days with the plan to continue there for several years. If it is more like the latter scenario, this definitely needs to be addressed to your satisfaction.

pointydog · 21/06/2011 19:35

Is there only one TV in the house and does her dd want to watch it?

whatsallthehullaballoo · 21/06/2011 19:41

I am a childminder and as I provide a home from home environment I have found that tv has it's place. My tv is not for long - but I sometimes put it on when the children are tired and have 10 mins wind down before/ after lunch. I have my own daughter and after schoolies come in after school and so the tv is then on from 4-5 pm after a brief activity and snack time.

I usually put on a Disney type dvd or c-beebies. My parents (all teachers) are very happy with this arrangement and see that tv is a resource like anything else.
You not unreasonable to ask your chldminder for c-beebies only and 30 minutes...but you should also trust her judgement. Maybe sometimes it will not go on at all and perhaps some days it may go on for an hour.

whatsallthehullaballoo · 21/06/2011 19:42

Sorry for typos - am exhausted and rushing!!

Mandy2003 · 21/06/2011 19:45

I wonder what issues the CM has with Sky that prevent the watching of CBeebies/CBBC - when my reception packs up the only digital channels that struggle through are these two!

LittleMissFlustered · 21/06/2011 20:00

I had a friend whose sky box was set to show dire crap like judge judy etc. The telly was off. If a child tried it on they'd discover the boredom and switch the telly off in disgust.

BoysAreLikeDogs · 21/06/2011 20:01

what is the internet portion that is causing concern?

Original poster
monkeymiss · 21/06/2011 20:02

@ zipzap and pointydog - I don't know. I was going to ask her tonight (I'm going to phone her later to talk it through).

@pumpkin - we were hoping to use her longer term for pickups etc. However we have recently been considering whether daycare nursery/afterschool clubs would be more appropriate as she gets older.

@hullabaloo - I agree that TV has its place, and how you use it is generally how our CM uses it. I also agree that I should be able to trust her judgement, but equally I don't think it unreasonable to set some groundrules, or perhaps expectations is a better word, on the understanding that on occasion the rules will be broken! However as I said before, there have been a few things DD has watched recently that I have not been happy with.

@ Mandy - I think she just hasn't got it set up yet as they've just moved.

OP posts:
Mandy2003 · 21/06/2011 20:04

My DS loved Judge Judy and all shows like that when he was small!

maypole1 · 21/06/2011 20:04

She is not A NANNY you don't get to decide what she your daughter and the other children watch.

Its just like nursery you have to trust their judgement if you want to dictate what the children watch granted their not watching eastenders then get a nanny

ENormaSnob · 21/06/2011 20:17

Either trust her judgement or get a new Cm.

Yabu to enforce your ideals on the other children in her care.

GruffalosGirl · 21/06/2011 20:19

What kind of things has she watched recently that you're unhappy with? What it was and how different from my own choices it was would influence how I would react.

Original poster
monkeymiss · 21/06/2011 20:20

@ zipzap and pointydog - I don't know. I was going to ask her tonight (I'm going to phone her later to talk it through).

@pumpkin - we were hoping to use her longer term for pickups etc. However we have recently been considering whether daycare nursery/afterschool clubs would be more appropriate as she gets older.

@hullabaloo - I agree that TV has its place, and how you use it is generally how our CM uses it. I also agree that I should be able to trust her judgement, but equally I don't think it unreasonable to set some groundrules, or perhaps expectations is a better word, on the understanding that on occasion the rules will be broken! However as I said before, there have been a few things DD has watched recently that I have not been happy with.

@ Mandy - I think she just hasn't got it set up yet as they've just moved.

OP posts:
Original poster
monkeymiss · 21/06/2011 20:21

scuse repost! screen had frozen.

OP posts:
MilaMae · 21/06/2011 20:22

A CM setting is different to a nursery.It's home from home.

Many childminders have a variety of different aged children.School aged kids need down time and are often knackered after school hence TV other than Cbeebies and for longer than 30 minutes.Most children with older siblings will experience a similar set up.

To be frank it sounds as if a nursery would suit you more.

Al1son · 21/06/2011 20:29

I'm a childminder and I use tv for a purpose.

I use it occasionally as part of a learning journey when we may watch a programme which is specific to something we are interested in like animals of dinosaurs.

I use it to settle children with favourite programmes when they are new to my setting and feeling upset.

I use it to help the after-school children wind down now and then if one of them has had a bad or tiring day.

I can't think of another good reason for using the tv in a childminding setting. If the children are watching tv I am usually watching with them and talking about what we can see. My role is to care for and educate the children, not dump them in front of the tv and leave them to it.

I would be questioning whether this childminder is the right person to be caring for your DD, OP.