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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...or just jealous?

63 replies

Trinaluce · 29/05/2011 15:52

I'll try and keep this brief. Friend of mine has a 6 month old baby and is in a relationship with a married man (not the child's father). Her facebook status timeline is a constant stream of 'got sooooooooooo drunk last night', 'out with XY and Z on the piss', 'out at Z's party with (married man)'. She barely talks about her son and just seems to be out every night of the week.

AIBU to be fed up with her attitude, or am I just jealous that she's got a life (and a willing babysitter dammit) and energy levels I never had when DD was 6 months old?

OP posts:
worraliberty · 29/05/2011 15:54

It's her life, as long as her baby is being cared for that's all that matters.

FWIW I don't talk about my kids on my FB status either.

LilQueenie · 29/05/2011 15:55

well who is looking after the child? Doesnt soudn like jealousy to me more that she is a bad mother.

Pagwatch · 29/05/2011 15:55

I don't know tbh but I think assuming that you are getting a genuineibsight into someones life via what they chose to post on facebook is a bit foolish..

If it is annoying you just don't read it.

Anything could be going on in her life. You don't know.

Pagwatch · 29/05/2011 15:56
  • genuine insight
Original poster
Trinaluce · 29/05/2011 15:57

I think it's a pretty good insight into her life: she's a pretty heavy poster! (Like me Blush)

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 29/05/2011 15:57

she's probably bigging self up online
and youre the nosey parker who reads it and cares
and as you say she has a reliable babysitter,so wind your neck in and calm down

Original poster
Trinaluce · 29/05/2011 15:58

Fair comment Grin

OP posts:
BeerTricksPotter · 29/05/2011 16:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pagwatch · 29/05/2011 16:02

It doesn't matter how much she posts.

Forexample people feeling lonely or isolated or depressed often try to hide it - even lie about it.

Stop reading it. It isn't really telling you anything,

BeerTricksPotter · 29/05/2011 16:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Trinaluce · 29/05/2011 16:05

The 'married man' is WHOLE other part of the story I can't even be bothered to get into. Let's just say it won't be the first marriage she's ruined when his wife finally finds out.

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 29/05/2011 16:06

youre like a gossip hanging over back fence
except its all online
wind your neck in,cut the indignation and get on with your life.unless of course shes fucking your partner? well is she?

Vallhala · 29/05/2011 16:09

My FB consists almost solely of dog rescue contacts and has sod all to do with my family life. Put me in the bad mother category too. Hmm

As for the view that she's a bad mother, LilQueenie, on what grounds? That she has childcare and goes out at night? That she has a life?

Should she be staying at home with cocoa and slippers?

Trina, why mention that she's dating a married man? How is that relevant to your AIBU question? It sounds to me not just that yes, you probably are jealous but also that you disapprove of the woman's decision to date a married man.

All entirely down to you of course but unless the child is left in the care of unsuitable sitters or is otherwise at risk of harm, YABU - this is HER life, she may do as she pleases!

Original poster
Trinaluce · 29/05/2011 16:10

If she is I'll break her neck - and his Wink But no, not mine, thankfully.

It's not ALL online though, I've had months of having to deal with the fallout of the last relationship and I'm just bracing myself for the next one really

OP posts:
LillyTheMinx · 29/05/2011 16:10

Maybe she goes out after the baby has gone to bed. If the baby sleeps through the night and doesn't need her until the morning then why can't the mum have some fun?

Personally, I couldn't do it. One glass of wine and I have a hangover and my DD is 18 months.

If she's got the energy to do it, then lucky her.

RunAwayWife · 29/05/2011 16:10

She clearly needs to grow up and find some morals

scottishmummy · 29/05/2011 16:12

trina,you obviously have disdain for her.so cut the pal act.dont return her calls,dont do the drama.

and if you get yourself in a state about her online tittle tattle,thats up to you

diddl · 29/05/2011 16:14

I wouldn´t be jealous-I´d much rather be at home with a 6month baby.

Can´t think of much worse than being "out on the piss" tbh.

Original poster
Trinaluce · 29/05/2011 16:16

Scottish I'm not in a state, just a little fed up. And I'm sure most of that has jealousy behind it! :)

Diddl There's an element of that too - I've never enjoyed the whole piss-up thing. Well I do at the time, sometimes, not so much the next day Wink

OP posts:
Vallhala · 29/05/2011 16:18

I'll take the middle ground, diddl. I'd hate to return to the days of lone motherhood, stuck at home with a 6 month old baby and no break but being on the piss is not for me either.

That doesn't mean that I'm not able to shrug at, rather than judge, women who enjoy nights on the piss as long as their children are in good hands.

scottishmummy · 29/05/2011 16:21

so get a baby sitter,get your lippy and get out
dont live life envious of someone else
and if she is such a burdensome pal,cut her loose.dont return calls and dont do the whole ohmygod drama

there are no rules when a mum can go out after baby,its whenever suits. this notion of baby attached to hip for ever more and no social life is old fashioned and draconian. a baby wont suffer if mum goes out and mum might benefit too

BeerTricksPotter · 29/05/2011 16:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LilQueenie · 29/05/2011 16:25

do we know she has a babysitter or is the OP assuming that someone is a willing babysitter. I jsut dont see why have a baby and be out so often getting drunk. Sounds like there are issues.

JamieAgain · 29/05/2011 16:27

God FB is so boooooring

scottishmummy · 29/05/2011 16:29

queenie youre a stirrer,"sounds like issues" my arse.issues are people making assumptions about online bibble babble
people like you and trina
in old days you'd have both hung over a fence gossiping now its online