Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be claiming some benefits.....

160 replies

CardyMow · 22/10/2010 23:33

When DP works FT? DP earns £16K before tax. We get : £140 a week Child tax credits. £76 a week Working tax credit. £46 a week child benefit. £ 122 a week Housing benefit. We have 3 dc. I am a SAHM because no-one will emloy me due to my epilepsy, but I no longer get any disability benefits in respect of this. What I can't work out from all the hoo-ha on MN lately about benefits 'scroungers' is whether DP and I are unreasonable to claim what's available?

Soooo. Are we benefits scroungers because we get £384 a week in benefits. Or are we not benefits scroungers because DP works FT and pays tax? Where does the collective wisdom of MN stand on that?

OP posts:
LordVolAuVent · 22/10/2010 23:35

your husband works, you claim what you're entitled to, you'd be a fool not to. YANBU

Original poster
CardyMow · 22/10/2010 23:45

But why is it OK for me to be a SAHM and us claim benefits to top up DP's wages, but it isn't OK for a single mum to be a SAHM and live on benefits while bringing up her dc? Just curious?

OP posts:
Original poster
CardyMow · 22/10/2010 23:49

It's just that seems to be the sentiment on MN at the moment, that single SAHM's on benefits are the scum of the earth, no matter what the reason they are single mums, even if they are escaping DV etc, yet we aren't benefits scroungers because DP works and pays tax. I'm struggling to see why there is so much venom being directed at people out of work and claiming benefits, when there's hardly any jobs, what jobs there are are hardly secure, and have crappy pay, yet people are being castigated on here for chosing to stay at home with their dc like I do. Most of the time it is not the single parents' fault that they are a single parent.....

OP posts:
LordVolAuVent · 22/10/2010 23:52

personally i have no issues with single parents staying at home with young kids and claiming benefits, providing they haven't deliberately put themselves in that position. so am perhaps the wrong person to be answering your query loudlass, sorry!

usualsuspect · 22/10/2010 23:52

I hear you Loudass ..I work ..dp works ..we are vilified on MN because ds gets EMA ..what do you do? tell me because I'm fucked if I know anymore

Mimile · 22/10/2010 23:52

The system is really unfair to single parents, so doesn't bother me for single mothers to draw benefits if finding work is too difficult (although some manage).
Your DH works FT, and according to your OP, your epilepsy makes it difficult for you to work / find work.
So YANBU.

scottishmummy · 22/10/2010 23:53

grow a thicker skin.stop fretting about strangers opinions.mn is a discussion site,nowt more nowt less.you will be exposed to a myriad of opinion.but only you know your individual circs etc

it would be a cold day in hell when i benchmark my life against mn opinion

cerealqueen · 23/10/2010 00:18

well said scottishmummy.

RainbowRainbow · 23/10/2010 00:29

OP, YANBU, and I don't see why you would think that you are.

Original poster
CardyMow · 23/10/2010 00:31

I'm not so much bothered for me, as I am bothered for some of the people that are getting a hard time on here atm.

I may not be in this position myself, but I can still sympathise with the fact that it is incredibly unfair that with regards to the benefits cap, DP and I will have a 'cap' of £500 a week, yet a single parent who probably has to pay crippling childcare costs will have a cap of only £350 a week.

MN has always been a quite supportive place to be, but just lately it seems that every grou of people is 'ganging up' on other groups of people. I want to know what has happened to everyone's empathy. To people on MN trying to understand what it would be like to be in the OP's situation, and offering them help rather than castigating them for getting benefits.

Why is the issue of benefits so divisive? While I agree that they should never be a permanent measure for anyone to live their entire life on, how many people that post on MN are on benefits and fully intend to do so forever? Because I've yet to come across many of them. All the posters on MN at least that are out of work are either retraining or looking for work, or are planning to go back to work at a certain point in the future.

So why are any/all posters on MN that get benefits being hounded at the moment?

OP posts:
gaelicsheep · 23/10/2010 00:37

I'll tell you why Loudlass. We've had a Tory govt for all of 5 mins and the "I'm alright Jack" mentality is already rubbing off on everybody.

Original poster
CardyMow · 23/10/2010 00:42

Blush. The worst of it is that I was stupid enough to vote for the bastards. And believe their pre-election policies. In my defence, I was 14yo when labour got in in 1997, and I was more interested in whether I'd still be in the same foster placement in 6 weeks time than I was in politics. I was in homeless accommodation for the following elections, this was the first election I was able to vote in. I will NEVER vote Tory again. And lib-dem are just a bunch of lily-livered power-hungry bastards, so even though I disagreed with some things labour did, I'll always be a bloody labour voter from now on!!

OP posts:
kayah · 23/10/2010 00:43

why is it that employers aren't prepared to employ you?

expatinscotland · 23/10/2010 00:48

A lot of people fell for their shower of shite.

As a first time voter, I nearly did, but at the very last minute, switched my vote to SNP whilst DH was voting at the same time (postal).

expatinscotland · 23/10/2010 00:49

Because they don't want an employee, kayah. They want a widget, a cog in the machine who can and will work when they want, for how long they want, for whatever pay they want.

Original poster
CardyMow · 23/10/2010 00:50

Because I had to declare my epilepsy on the application form (have found out yesterday that I no longer have to), and out of over 200 jobs applied for in 3 years...I have not been offered even one interview. And anyway, for every job in my town that I could apply for, there are 400-600 applicants. Most of whom wont require time off for seizures, or need to occasionally be rushed to hosital halfway through a shift, leaving their workmates to do their job for them....Would you employ MEor someone totally healthy if you were the employer?

OP posts:
gaelicsheep · 23/10/2010 00:57

I nearly voted for them too Loudlass. If we weren't in Scotland (making it a wasted vote), I probably would have done. I voted Lib Dem and around the time the coalition was formed I was congratulating myself on my terrific wisdom and foresight. Now I'm kicking myself. But then I don't know who else I'd have voted for - still couldn't have brought myself to vote Labour.

My feeling is that the Tories know that whatever they do, even if they handle the economic crisis in the fairest possible way, they still won't be voted in again for a decade at least because people won't be able to stomach the cuts. So they've just said sod it, let's take this golden opportunity to push through all kinds of ideological crap in the name of the deficit.

Has anyone read the book The Shock Doctrine? It's very telling.

DooinMeCleanin · 23/10/2010 00:59

Loudlass DH has never declared his epilepsy, afaik, until he has been offered the job.

It puts them on very shaky ground taking that job offer back.

He still finds it harder to get work, because there is so much he cannot do i.e. driving, heavy machinery, anything that requires him to work unsupervised, sitting at a computer screen with out extra breaks etc.

When you do find work, make sure you apply for the disability element of WTC. They don't tell you you are entitled to it, but you are. And you still get free prescriptions and dental treatment, as does your partner. Just incase you didn't know Smile

Oh and YANBU.

gaelicsheep · 23/10/2010 01:00

Really Loudlass, that's terrible. Where I work (public sector) if someone declares a disability they have to be interviewed if they meet the essential criteria. It did make me Hmm a little bit when we were told we had to interview someone on the basis of them declaring dyslexia. (Not intending to insult people with dyslexia - please don't flame me - but it's hardly the same thing as Loudlass's situation).

homeboys · 23/10/2010 09:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
CardyMow · 23/10/2010 10:10

Well I did feel a bit Shock when I realised last night that in order for us to survive at the same level as we are right now, DP would have to earn £15.90 an hour! Who the hell earns that?

And it's not as if we are rolling in it at the moment. My dc's have never had a holiday, We don't run a car, we make do with our (supermarket mostly) clothes, I live and die in two pairs of trousers and 3 tops, the DC's have about 4 sets of clothes after their school uniform, We take the dc on days out twice a year, after saving up for 6 months, we don't have takeaways, our furniture is bought second hand from charity shops, etc etc. Yet to cover the money we get in benefits, DP would have to earn nearly £16 an hour. Just to keep our lifestyle at that point.

Anyone think minimum wage is too low??

OP posts:
Janos · 23/10/2010 10:13

"it would be a cold day in hell when i benchmark my life against mn opinion"

Abso-bloody-lutely scottishmummy.

When I see people posting this stuff I think stop fretting about what strangers on the internet think FGS! (In the nicest possible way).

Saying that Loudlass you sound like a thoughtful and compassionate person and understand where you are coming from. Certain people just see this as sort of thing green light to have a go unfortunately.

shimmerysilverghosty · 23/10/2010 10:19

Thank you Loudlass.

I am one of those SAHM Single Parents and I have wondered this.

However I do have a SN child so I suppose I could be mitigated by this, by a few anyway as sometimes the attitudes to SN is not much better on MN.

I wouldn't mind having a thread where we can put what we get and some of the clever clogs (mean that in a good way) on here could tell us how we will be affected after all the cuts in our own particular circumstances but I suspect it would end up with posters being roasted beyond all recognition if we did. Now that would be a useful thread.

wotnochocs · 23/10/2010 10:21

look, a democratically elected government has decided you are entitled to these benefits.How much 'fairer' can you be than that?

SoloBlackWidowSpidersWebSite · 23/10/2010 10:31

I too am at home taking a career break; still employed, but on nil pay so I claim benefits. I'm a single Mum.

I can't go back to work right now because I'd earn too much to get any help with anything other than CB and (with current stuff) £545 per year WTC. I might get the smallest amount of help with childcare, but it wouldn't help enough at the moment to make it viable to go back to work.

I worked for 27+ years (ie a tax payer) before going into the benefits system for the very first time after Dd was born and I still managed to feel guilty about it. Now, I don't feel guilty, I feel embarrassed because people automatically give you the scum or scrounger label.

OP, you are right, but I don't see it changing sadly.