to be bored with myself and to want to become a Jilly Cooper character for the winter?

[BalloonSlayer]

I want to sit in front of a fire of apple logs, wearing only a Dark Blue towel.

I want a rosy-cheeked face which I have to tone down with green foundation, instead of looking like a corpse unless I put on loads of blusher.

I want to drink three quarters of a bottle of Moet before doing ANYTHING. (Including: getting up in the morning or taking an important exam.)

I want an Absolutely Filthy Mini instead of a people carrier.

I want DH to do thumb exercises so that the ball of his thumb becomes pudgy because apparently that's sexy or something .

I want to lose loads and loads of weight every time I am a bit sad about something, so that everyone who thought I was a minger before is suddenly struck by my beauty, instead of eating cakes to cheer myself up and getting fatter.

AIBU?

JC always describes the "braying chinless wonder" so that I can get an image,but the masterful toff escapes me somehow...though the "Ace" -type - hooded eyes,hooked nose, - that the heroine hates on sight ,then desires wildly,as he forces her to submit...well,I can see those ones....

Guess that says way too much about me though!!! ...

I hope that one day Jilly will read this thread and know there are a legion of women out there who believe in her legacy, despite the - ahem - variable quality of her more recent output. (I simply cannot put aside the Death of Major Early Character Who Shall Not Be Named in Jump).

Declan and Patrick O'Hara, so cruelly underused. Caitlin you utter goddess who could have had at least one novel all to herself if not more.

Rannaldini, you were just some old pervy git that anyone normal would have told to piss off. Dunno what Jilly was on during all that.

And as to Wicked - a true abomination. We're adults!

Flora - or rather Floora - does end up with George. Don't really get it except he will tolerate Trevor the dog. But the ways of the northern people are not our own, darling.

Ahh but there is Northern and then there is Northern. The Great and Holy JC herself is from a well-known Yorkshire family.

Jilly lived in my town when she road many of her books - on a renowned and rather maligned road!! I wish she would come back and include me in one of her novels!

She did use my name once and a boyfriend bought me the book at university and used to read me passages in bed ..... I dumped him

Rupert C-B no taa!

"road many of her books" ?? Rode maybe but not road! Of course I meant 'wrote"

oOOH Otter.. which road??? I too am from Ilkley

Was glad to see the horse named after the place in Jump!

Jilly's posh so it must be Middleton eh?

oh lordy! Is it Rupert Road?

Yes ,tribpot. I would be more than happy to keep reading volume after slim volume of short novels ,like Bella et al, for evermore.

In fact,I re read them constantly as comfort food in any case..

I wish she had continued with those and updated her scenes/characters/plots as she has in the blockbusters - ie,having babies,ttc,adoption,infidelity,grandparents etc..

After Rivals,they've all been a bit...um.. crap >not so good<

But I have dozens of scenes and lines from the early ones in my mind at different times.......as well,of course,as many,many heavy literature references too >ahem

Lunar NO although i lived there! If I am informed correctly it was Curly Hill!

I always thought Janey was supposed to be Jilly - at the start at least, before she [Janey] started shagging around.

Mane of hair. Journalist. Gap between the teeth.

Also always thought Georgie was Lulu or Cilla Black.

Georgie seemed more like Marianne Faithfull to me!!

Curly Hill... gah... so it is Middleton then, and a mere spit from rupert road.

Oh yes everything - the nicknames! I just thought there were too many in JUMP and they weren't great either...I agree with whoever it was that said there were too many characters in JUMP. Or maybe it's that the characters are all just a bit close together or something...if that makes sense. In Riders there were very separate story lines going on so even though there were lots of characters you could remember them a bit easier. Or am I just getting old and senile?! :)

LOL lunar ( are you going?)

Oooh Otter.. am tempted... will you be going?

I bet I'd be the oldest there and nobody from my year!

I'd end up getting stuck into the wine and getting horribly tight!

invite some folk then and ...yes probably!

I've been reading this thread in delightful installments - much like reading a JC novel itself in carefully portioned chapters. I'm still only on page 14, but just had to say.... this has mad me laugh more than anything I've ever read on mumsnet (or anywhere else on t'internet, actually...), and is an utterly inspired thread. I'm so regretting giving my JC books away to the charity shop some years ago now - especially the Octavia, Prudence etc series, which I loved. All this talk of Taggie and RCB (Billy always had my heart, personally) has made me want to read the whole lot again. I wonder if there'll be a sudden run on Riders/Rivals/Polo at my library?

Good idea everythingiseverything - such a funny thread

we could do our own mumsnet novella, jilly style, with each of us giving our nicknames a backstory and then seeing what appears...

I like that idea I'd go back to DiscoSquish for that one.