to be bored with myself and to want to become a Jilly Cooper character for the winter?

[BalloonSlayer]

I want to sit in front of a fire of apple logs, wearing only a Dark Blue towel.

I want a rosy-cheeked face which I have to tone down with green foundation, instead of looking like a corpse unless I put on loads of blusher.

I want to drink three quarters of a bottle of Moet before doing ANYTHING. (Including: getting up in the morning or taking an important exam.)

I want an Absolutely Filthy Mini instead of a people carrier.

I want DH to do thumb exercises so that the ball of his thumb becomes pudgy because apparently that's sexy or something .

I want to lose loads and loads of weight every time I am a bit sad about something, so that everyone who thought I was a minger before is suddenly struck by my beauty, instead of eating cakes to cheer myself up and getting fatter.

AIBU?

So that explains why in Jillyland the gene the causes dyslexia also causes you to be incapable of malice, or even mild bitchiness.

It was Chessie's son Will who died - it is really sad.

They work out who Perdita's dad is because the art teacher who had the orgy is told about the article in the Scorpion by his charlady (natch), gets his photo albums out and puts two and two together

Havent read them for about 20 years need to re read them and aquaint myself on the characters again. That man off the man that made husbands jealous also sounds yummy, what was he called, had a very unusual name. Lots of riding, sex who would not want that.

Thats it Taggy not Tabitha, Tabitha was the daughter of RCB. Taggy was very sweet.

Lysander. thick but beautiful. had a jack russle terrier called jack

SpookyMousePink, thank Ker-rist you remembered the Arpege-wearer, and the extract. I can get on with my life again now, and you can have an A* in your JC GCSE.

(I remember the exact bit now. She was a 'tornado of Arpege and desire' I think.)

Lysander was one of the dyslexic angels - he was a bit absent-minded but only got into trouble because he always got distracted by someoen in need of help (help often came in the form of a shoulder to cry on followed by a cock to come on).

Oh how typical of me to attribute such a sad storyline to the wrong character. I obviously need to swotup revise.

If we have a Jilly web chat can we be nice and not mention the books we didn't rate? She seems so lovely and very self effacing. Not like some of the egomaniacs politicians we've endured.

Definitely SpookyMouse - it was a steaming pile of poo, as i realised when i watched it a second time after reading the book.

Wasn't Caitlin Moran published aged about 17?

Even worse she was 16!

i rate even the crapper ones. i still re-read wicked 14 times and am in the middle of second reading of jump which i amrather enjoying.

I'm still on my first reading of Jump, probably because the only chance I get to read is in the bath :(

Which is where I am heading as soon as the DDs friends have been collected and there is peace in the house again.

Rivals. Pretty much all of it made me cry

oooh the lovely Lysander, and steamy sex.

Jeeesus spook, that's awful. where are you? can you put yut a call to natiowide mumsnetters? iof you are in darkest corinnium- wiltshire i could help you out.

IF you can possibly lower yourself, Amazon are selling used copies of Riders from 1p