On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat *2024*

[Swannyb]

@amdone123 @mj20 @touty @Hohofortherobbers @Coppergate7 @bigbus @colouringindoors @wellitywellness @Atacamadesert @Freezingfeetwarmheart @WouldRatherBeAPieceOftToast @Hohofortherobbers @mickandrorty @Mykittensmittens @afaloren @NoTeaNoShade @CrackersCheeseNoWinePlease @LynnThese4reSEXPEOPLE @Needtokickthehabit @OhShitImNearly40 @Nowstrong @enoughisenough4

I just need to be more laid back, less critical and more forgiving! I find my Mum SUCH hard work but I know that I can't blame her for my drinking (albeit, she's the only alcoholic in my DNA - but she's MUCH more controlled than me...in that one never drinks before 6pm! LOL)

@Tulips63 it sounds horrendous! I have a similar experience with my BIL and also my mum - funnily enough my husband says it’s the Telegraph that is making my mum get worse!

I’ve finally managed an AF day! Woohoo! I achieved this by offering to drive home from the pub meal this evening.

@Amdone123 i hope your lunch went well

Hi - I'm testing if this works or I just post a message randomly?

Looks like I manged to post on here! Hope its ok to contribute?I have been reading for silent support since New Year and you have all done amazingly. Well done. Day 29 here and mostly without the urges being too bad, but after an AF lunch with friends that I took booze to and made a great mocktail I came home truly desperate. Everyone was moderately drinking - It was fun, but I really didnt have any urges while there. But when I got home. Wow! The strogest urge yet and weirdly the voices in my head seemed to be really calm saying - Its not a problem if you have a glass now you really desevere a good soak with a glass of red, but I know to have that backward and forward conversation I am still battling. I got through it and kept giving myself a pat on the back but the voice was sill there saying - well a relaxing drink in the bath wouldnt have done you any harm - and you have missed the opp to have a drink when you feel good now. I can tell if these kinds of conversations are going on in my mind I have a long way to go.

@ABPMum hi, welcome and well done on 29 days. You've done really well.
Yes, those voices, omg - the struggle is real. And you're right - I never thought about the voices like that...if they're still happening, yes, a bit of a way to go. For me, anyway.
@Tulips63 concentrate on how well you've done. 29 days is brilliant.
@Bigbus well done on your af day. That's great.

Thanks for asking about my meal out.
Yesterday was an absolutely perfect day. My new granddaughter visited for the morning. She is so lovely. The meal out was gorgeous, 2 glasses of wine. I didn't manage to walk past the M n S food Hall. We bought sparkling rose, nibbles and came home, sat in bed and watched a film.
Feeling tired today but ok. I won't drink now til Saturday.

Here's me for today:

https://wellitywellness.com/2024/01/29/dry-january-29-gratitude-journal/

Yesterday was an absolutely perfect day - so lovely to come on and read that @Amdone123 😍fab!

Hello @ABPMum !

I'm not fully with it now - pretty intense day at work and managed to get dehydrated. Only managed 2 spoons of soup for lunch too (which now I'm doing ZOE again, know isn't quite as healthy as I thought..). Light headache now!

Home alone tonight - DH in London for work and DS away too. Just me and the dog. Zero temptation to drink. Lots of temptation to eat chocolate but there is none in the house and I don't want it enough to go out for it...I think. REALLY need to practice the piano but not sure my brain works well enough right now.

YAY for the AF day @Bigbus! Always the hardest.

Right. Had three glasses at Christmas do tonight and determined to now stay dry until Friday. Will be very interested to see what effect this has on my sleep tonight and energy levels tomorrow!

@Amdone123 your lunch and afternoon sounds really lovely!

@Coppergate8 being alone in the house is a massive trigger for me so well done for staying AF.

@afaloren 3 drinks at a works do seems ok to me. That’s always my danger zone where the wine monster wakes up and takes over and I just carry on guzzling. I hope your sleep was okay.

I went out for a pre-planned drink with an old work friend last night - I had two medium glasses of wine - made sure I drank them slowly. I was almost tempted to buy more on the way home but I have to work today and I had @Amdone123 in my head telling me to play it forward! So I did not drink anymore, I had a good sleep and I’m off to work hangover-free!

Thanks so much to this thread - I honestly think it would be a different story without it.

Hi, still here, still AF in Jan. Out at a very boozy party on Saturday but had a 0% beer and then plenty of soda water. Not sure what Feb holds yet

@afaloren how did you sleep ?! Well done on the 3 glasses, that's brilliant.
@Bigbus glad I'm in your head 🤣. Well done to you too for not buying any on the way home. It's really difficult to not press that button, takes a lot of resilience.
@Hohofortherobbers that was a good result. I don't think I could go to a gathering and not drink though over the years I've come to realise it's a social anxiety thing. For February, just take it one day at a time and see how you get on.

How are we all @0C2H5OH @Atacamadesert @Freezingfeetwarmheart @Mj20 @Mykittensmittens @Needtokickthehabit @OhShitImNearly40 @Tilllly @Touty @determineddoris

50 posts to catch up on, oops.

I had a long weekend and drank for 4 consecutive days. It was moderated, and I even said no at other peoples attempts to top me up, so I’m not beating myself up over it as I had a really nice weekend.

I have a nightmare client at work who’s causing me stress and sleepless nights, I’m pleased I don’t want alcohol as I know it will only make it worse.

I hope everyone is doing well. It sounds like it. 😊

@Bigbus @Amdone123 thanks, I was pleased to stop at three as felt like a good balance between having a nice relaxed fun time and not getting so far in I couldn’t stop. Previously I would have probably drank before leaving the house and when I returned too so this is a bit improvement.

I did wake up in the night a few times but my energy levels are fine and I went to the gym and did yoga. So I’m pleased! And I have no desire to drink now until Friday.

@afaloren you've just reminded me of something I've achieved since being on here.
Before I went out, I always drank - at least 1 bottle of wine, getting ready. No wonder when I was out I got drunk so easily (? - not so easily, 2 bottles down, possibly a third ).

Highly, highly recommend this podcast - the antithesis of smug sanctimonious quit lit authordom. I sense Mumsnetters would like.

https://wellitywellness.com/2024/01/30/dry-january-30-sort-your-sht-out/

Hi still moderating here, not going to drink til at least Friday now and maybe not even then!

Another frustrating in-law visit happened at the weekend, I suspect there may be a few more of these to come in the coming months 🙄
I did the driving for my family party on Sunday so no drinking then - I did have a couple when we got home though, but we also went on a 7.5 mile walk after the lunch so I don't feel bad about it!

Here is my January- next to December to compare, a few more have crept in towards the end but I will be happy if it stays at that level - just need to not let things creep up again now and this'll do me nicely!

@Freezingfeetwarmheart that's good going. Sounds like you have a plan !
I'm similar, doing ok and I'd be happy if I could stay at once a week. Last week I drank on 2 days, so not perfect but I'm trying!

I do not have the mental capacity currently to read back but I am failing. I did so well at the weekend but since Sunday night I have just been on a bender basically. I know I need to sort my shit out. I took a few days off work 'sick' but I was not sick at all just fucking drinking. I am so unimpressed with myself and life is currently throwing me under the bus and I am self medicating with alcohol and I can see that but I just cant stop. My gp is on holiday for the next two weeks and I dont like the stand in so dont want to go there and I am genuinely too embarassed to talk to friends or family. I am so ashamed of myself as I can do so much more with myself and if you met me you would never know the extent of my drinking. I dont look like a drinker, I dont talk like one, I hold down a good job, clean home etc but I just cant stop bloody drinking. I am disgusted with myself. I am wasting my life by being drunk and hungover. I need to stop the cycle and I need to stop it soon.

@Needtokickthehabit is there anyone you can talk to online or by phone ? It might just be good to share it with someone. Then when your gp comes back, you can get in touch with her. She sounded very understanding last time.
I know you feel awful about yourself because I've been there. Don't beat yourself up - you're just reacting to your problems the way you know. Thousands have been there before you - and escaped it, so there is hope.
Keep posting - ❤️

Morning folks. Day 3 here which is not unusual for me. I know I'll get to Saturday and want to do something and that's OK. I feel like I'm managing it.
The good thing is it's payday today and thanks to no spend January, my balance is looking healthy. No Spend January has helped with my alcohol intake - it's made me think about how I waste money.
I'd normally drink today ( payday), but I know I'll wait til Saturday.

Morning all! Still AF here after my slight slip after the 1st week. Off on holiday Friday morning. Will, as always, be AF on a solo holiday. Might be more solo than planned, as apparently there are loads of cancellations. Hey ho. Can't cancel. Will queue up less to visit places. Not particularly worried about it, I have checked UK and French government sites about travel and I'm definitively not going to any "unauthorised" or should I say "advised against" places. All are in the OK green zone. Well, will be another interesting experience.
Will be glad to be away from my cupboards and fridge for a while, I may not drinking but I am nibbling, with a vengeance. Fortunately haven't put on any weight, much to my surprise.
@Amdone123 new granddaughter sounds delightful! @afaloren you are doing fine! Well done at the work's do. @Freezingfeetwarmheart I like a plan too, might be copying your calendar idea. @Needtokickthehabit don't be ashamed. You can and will, eventually, manage. Keep updating here, it might help and you are not alone. Welcome @ABPMum ! @Bigbus I'm with you about being thankful to this thread, wouldn't be abstaining/moderating without it. @wellitywellness I read your blog when I have time, well done!
Hope you all have a good day. Stay strong and sober!

Ok well I have a bottle of wine here that I am going to drink tonight. I will start to cut down from tomorrow. Life just keeps throwing things at me and it just feels like there is no let up. Im drowing in tears today but I know nobody can help me but myself. I need to do this.

Yep, we did it! And I'll be carrying on into February too - both not drinking and blogging about it (though perhaps not every day - it's a bit of an ask!).

https://wellitywellness.com/2024/01/31/dry-january-31-we-did-it/

Well done to those who did dry Jan. It's a great achievement. Here's to February and doing our best.
I had a bad day yesterday - my foot seized up which meant I could only hobble. Made me anxious for various reasons. Anyway, managed my workshift and dh picked me up. I fancied wine just because, but fortunately none of us had money on us. I wasn't too bothered, was a relief really.
My plan for February is to drink just once a week, so hoping for 25 af days out of 29.
@Needtokickthehabit how are you feeling today?

@Amdone123 positive. Well I woke positive then drove to work with a rage inside me at how many tears I shed yesterday but back to positive now.