I got bullied online for the first time today

[LimeandLemonades]

I've been on social media for fourteen years and today, for the first time, I opened a post I had made and the first comment on it really hurt. I just wanted to say this: kindness costs nothing and you can move on after being cruel to a stranger but the person you hurt may live with the scars for a long time.

I'm sorry this happened to you OP.

you’ve done really well to make it this long. Just remember how unhappy someone must be to spout shit to a stranger online.

Was this from a random poster, or someone you know? If the former, everyone online has faced this at some point. I work in a media adjacent industry and “never read the comments” has been a mantra for 20 years. Do not allow yourself to ruminate on the random noises of others.

If it’s a private account and it’s someone you know, well that’s very different.

That's awful, can you share what the gist of the bullying messages were?

That’s genuinely amazing to me. I always assume every post I make will trigger some poisonous reaction, particularly on anonymous sites like here.

Anyway sorry it’s had an impact on you.

I used to get upset by online comments until I reminded myself 'it's just a person on the internet' and that helps me move on. The opinion of someone who says hurtful things to people on social media is not worth getting upset about and they'll have forgotten about you the minute they move on to the next one (which will be very soon) so don't give them the satisfaction of living in your head rent-free.

This is why I don’t post anything online anymore. People can be really horrible. My dh had an account where he was sharing his drawings and people used to private message him to tell him how shit he was. He ended up deleting the account despite 90% of the feedback being positive. You have to have a very thick skin to cope with it.

That is really sad. To take the effort to say unkind things about his artwork, says a lot about the person doing it, imo.

About a month ago,it was all over fb that someone i knew had abused her dog to the point it almost died

I commented once that I knew her,if people thought this was a one off they where mistaken (she'd staved the dog to the point it was days from death-shed underfed her kids and cats for years while breeding the cats for money-they had never seen a vet,if they died,shed get another one) and that she owed me a large chunk of money

I also wrote that I HAD rang ss and the rspca (earlier than the dog) but they hadn't bothered coming out,she then ghosted me over the money and moved house so I couldn't find her to get it back

Within about 30 seconds,I had some woman telling me I was a freak of nature for not reporting her,it was all my fault that this woman had staved her dog and I deserved to go to prison

I calmly replied that I had rang ss and the rspca (which i had clearly written) and was called a liar

This woman (when i checked her profile) lived miles away from my area and made comments like this all the time

She doesn't know me,she didn't know what I did or didn't do and must be very unhappy with her life to be swearing at strangers online

I just blocked her and got on with my day

As dp says 'they are only words and words have no power'

What we call social media now, took place on bulletin boards, newsgroups and forums 30 years ago, so interacting with strangers on the internet predates social media (Mumsnet is an old style forum fwiw).
frankly it was far more brutal 30 years ago as most people on forums were single men with very poor social skills who took a dim view of women being in what they considered their space.
Plus there was no technology to assist with filtering or moderation, preventing spam etc.
Considering how many more people have access to the internet now I’m always amazed at how much positive interaction actually takes place.
I’m sorry you felt hurt OP, I echo others in that you've been lucky to get to 14 years before you had to read something nasty.
Just ignore it and move on.

What bad luck for it to be the first post. Nasty comments appear regularly on SM and don't mean anything about the person they are directed at. Could you be a bit sorry for the person sad enough to pointlessly attack a strange?

That's not bullying.

What was the nature of the bullying, op? Was it something they disagreed with you on? Or making fun of what you said?

A bit hard to say much without knowing what you and they both said.

Bullying is usually sustained, over a period, but sorry they made you feel bad, and I have no social media myself because of this sort of thing.

I used to get upset by online comments until I reminded myself 'it's just a person on the internet' and that helps me move on.

I tell myself 'it's just words on a page.'

I think if one comment on social media in 14 years is enough to upset you this much, there’s perhaps something else going on for you?

Of course people shouldn’t be nasty to each other, but what you’re describing is one person being a dick for two seconds. I think you do need to work on your resilience because, on the face of it, your reaction does seem unusually intense for a single unpleasant post.

That’s so awful, and cruel. I hope your DH has found a way to share his work with people who appreciate it.

People just hide behind the anonymity of it. They have pathetic little lives and for some weird reason feel better by putting others down. Sad creatures.

Sorry that happened and i don’t want to normalise it, but that is great if you have never received anything like that. Because to me I would feel like I have lived a sheltered life lol.
i get it all the time when i do lives, go gym, are you trans, age comments. Etc etc. I have had it in the street etc too, even the women at the school are terrible.

Sorry, are you saying that being deliberately foul and unpleasant to someone for no reason isn't bullying?

Yes that's right - bullying is repetitive. They were just being a dick. If they followed OP around the internet and kept doing it, that would bullying.

A comedian who gets a lot of abuse online said it's like being upset at someone standing in a bin shouting random stuff at you in the street. Don't take it to heart and remember that if they express themselves like that then they're not a good person.

It takes a lot of bravery to post even photos online for scrutiny. I'm not the kind of person who can say something is good if I don't think it is, so if I can't say something nice i don't say anything at all. Its better that way, nothing is gained from insulting people, it doesn't make me feel good and it certainly doesn't make them feel good.

Sometimes one is all it takes. I always thought I had a thick skin and rarely took things to heart, most of the time it can roll off me but one rude comment on a day that I was really struggling with my depression had me crying all afternoon.

Some people take real pleasure from hurting other people and it’s easy to take it to heart. However, people who hurt others are usually either ghastly people in general, which already makes you better than them, or they’re miserable people with miserable lives. Happy people don’t go around trying to hurt others.

I was once called “a cum skinned, Anglo-Saxon cunt” on Twitter for holding a very mild opinion, and quite honestly, it made me realise how ridiculous a lot of people on social media are.