Adult charged after slapping my autistic son, what happens now?

[Lisa121888Marie]

Hello, would be greatful for some advice please. My 11yr old son was slapped around the face by a 22yr old adult. I called the police and statements were taken both sides. She attended court for assault by beating and pleaded not guilty, and was put on bail until a trial date is set. My son is autistic and suffering with anxiety now. Is she likely to get away with this? I am struggling to understand how she can think its normal to slap a child. There were no witnesses, apart from the fact she admitted to both myself and my sons dad that she slapped him in the face. However she has pleaded not guilty.

Don't fucking slap children then its really that simple

I'm confused at why your vulnerable autistic son was out unsupervised and why he was with someone you'd agreed to keep him away from. There's no excuse for slapping a child - but I suspect there's a lot more going on here.

Id try to let the correct justice process take is course. I would imagine if social media got hold of it will ruin her life. It just depends on how angry and forgiving you feel.

I know of a situation where the young ofender had a specific career path they wanted to take. They did smthing stupid and unnessery as has this young women. The famiy of the victim went about trying to ensure that their life was ruined by making there chosen caeer path imposible.

I would just take a deep breath for now and look after yourself and your son x

Has your son been officially diagnosed with autism OP?

WTF? Why on earth are you defending her. There are no extenuating circumstances. This is an adult hitting a child. She should be stressed.

Most people don't slap children and then end up in court. Why on earth do you think that OP's DS will do that?

Unless this woman has additional needs of her own, she hasn't just randomly slapped a child in the street. There must be more to this story, which doesn't make it OK but the way OP is carrying on here maybe hints at how this situation could have escalated.

OP there are a couple of things that strike me here

1. Slapping a child in the face doesn't make the offender a danger to society. While you may not like it legally there wouldn't be any legal desire to put her in prison. I'm not sure what you are expecting, but legally I don't expect she would have much of a punishment. There was no lasting physical damage, it wasn't repetitive, it wasn't more than the one slap etc. I think you need to get your mind around the fact that she may be cautioned and not much else.
2. You have said repeatedly you child in vulnerable. Well yes, all children are and that is taken into account for the charging of her deed. Your son having autism doesn't make him more vulnerable as a child - especially as I would suspect that that would have to be proven that she knew that.
3. It is normal for someone to plead not guilty even if they have committed the crime. This doesn't mean she hasn't done it - it is a defence tactic. Nothing more.

I think you also need to reconcile there will be her side of the story. While slapping a child is NEVER okay, you are only hearing one side and the defence will suggest she was pushed to it and there may have been a 'reason' she did it'. I would prepare yourself for this.

I get you want to protect your child and understand your emotive, big language but realistically I can't see much happening to the offender.

I would concentrate your efforts on supporting your son and moving past the incident as you may be headed for a fall if you believe she should be severely punished.

Did she indicate why she was threatening to beat him up on the previous occasion and indeed why she went on to hit him, @Lisa121888Marie ?

It's not to defend her in any way, but the story is odd. Do you think there are mental health issues at play? I'm not doubting you but adult women rarely go around slapping unrelated children and a jury is going to be asked to judge on an incident with no witnesses.

All children are vulnerable op. Kindly I think don’t get your hopes up for some kind of mega sentence. She might get a fine if it’s clear cut. Hope your child is ok x

I don’t think that op has been rude or obnoxious! Have I missed something?

Clearly the OP handled this all wrong and should have immediately gone round to see the woman and make sure she hadn’t hurt her hand

Seriously. I feel like I'm reading a different thread! The OP also isn't the one ruining this person's life. She slapped a child. She did it herself!

No idea what happened prior but you can't go around hitting people and if you do, you should get done for assault.

Sorry you and your son have gone through this OP.

This is pretty shocking op. I hope your DS is ok and she does absolutely deserve a criminal record for this, Id hope for the same if it was my DC.

In fact op, make sure she doesn't turn it around onto you in any way. I had a very manipulative ex like this years ago. He would slap me, put his arm up to me to stop me slapping him back, I would call the police, then when they turned up, he'd grab his cheek and scream "ow! She just hit me!" and totally turn it around onto me!

This happened a few times, and I wonder if the young woman who hit your son hard enough to leave a red mark might be the same kind of person. Especially if your husband is involved, she might be the type to say he hit her.

Who was kicking the ball at him then if there were no witnesses?

Her sisters

So there were witnesses.

Well taking a wild guess, her sisters weren’t willing to say she did it? Or they ran off when they saw her because they knew they’d be trouble. It’s kind of irrelevant - OP doesn’t have to provide you with a forensically detailed description of the event and I’m not really sure why people are trying to trip her up

I wondered this too, my DS was taller and stronger than me at 11 (he is also autistic), if a lad his size were in any way threatening to a woman, it would be understandable for her to use force to defend herself or an accompanying child regardless of ages.

If indeed it was a random assault, I understand you want her to be punished but how does your DS want to proceed with this?

If found guilty she will have a criminal record for life and will never be allowed to work with children or vulnerable adults and tbh the fact that she has been arrested and charged will be enough to prevent her working with children and vulnerable adults because it will show up on a dbs check.
So whilst she may not face the justice that she deserves, she will have lifelong consequences thankfully

I'm surprised that she got charged with so little evidence. Maybe she has previous convictions, and this has swayed the decision.

Prep yourself for her getting found not guilty

Perhaps. But theres no point asking for advice if you're not going to give an accurate account.

This. All this fuss and public money over a slap (which ok she should not have done) when most rapists don’t even end up in court due to wishy washy procedures.

My understanding is there was some sort of fall out between the children. Op and the parents agreed to separate the children. There is Communal play area. Ops ds was riding this scooter up and down on his own. The other children were deliberately kicking the ball at him. Ops ds kicked the ball back. The 22 year the 22 year old then slapped ops Ds.

The 22 year old adult should not have hit him there's no excuse. And it makes it worse that they were kicking the ball at him in the first place on top of that the adult hits him. To me it seemed like they were targeting him.

I can't understand how it even entered her head to hit him.
@Lisa121888Marie Did she seem to care when she admitted it?:

I don't think much will happen to be honest slap on the wrist thats about it.

Yes , I really don't get some of these comments, it's like they're blaming the OP and child. They must think it's ok and not that bad a thing for an adult to slap a child. So much victim blaming going on. Making up their own versions of what's gone on, trying to trip the OP up. I wonder how they'd feel if it happened to their child.